telemarker

Start at midnight and pass them when they're sleeping!

Thanks for the nice words!

Trip: Yosemite El Cap - The Nose in a Push Date: 6/17/2013 Trip Report: Twice this year I have made the exit of shame from Yosemite on two failed Nose bids. First world problem, I know. There are much worse dilemmas out there in this barely functional world. Children go to bed hungry, families barely make ends meet. Whole classrooms of 6 year olds get gunned down. I get that. These things help keep climbing in perspective, and keep me from becoming even more self adsorbed than I already am. But we're climbers and by nature we're goal setters and feel appropriately disappointed when we fall short of achieving them. Which is why I couldn't help but feel sorry for my pathetic self the last couple months on the two Nose defeats. Nevertheless, lessons were learned, mainly, I never want to haul again. Thus my friend Dustin and I chose to climb The Nose in a push style, with the follower jugging with 30lbs of clothes, food and water. We tried to whittle the pack weight down even further, with me playing the budget cutting republican, but couldn't justify any further austerity measures without compromising our safety. So the 30 lbs stayed as is. So this is how it went. Strategy: Start climbing by 10pm on Friday to pass the bottleneck of parties at Sickle, Stovelegs and Dolt as they slept. We also figured we'd go through less water without the sun bearing down on us for the first 1/3 of the route. Result: Success. We passed three different parties-7 people total-the last of which were on Dolt when it finally got light for us and I took out the camera for the first time. It was smooth sailing after that with a wide open interstate of pure Yosemite granite splitters ahead of us with nary another party in front. Dustin reaching Boot Flake The King Swing was a personal triumph for me. I had been kvetching about it most of the climb, mostly about looking like an ass to the voyeurs in the meadows flailing around on the end of the rope as often happens to Nose noobs. But as it turned out, it was all wasted angst as I succeeded in gaining Eagle Ledge first try. I followed all the rules: (1) Wear your climbing shoes; (2) Lower with the rope on the shin of the boot to help propel you towards your goal; (3) Lower so your feet are about even with the second to last bolt in the boot flake bolt ladder; (4) Swing hard left to start out, then way back right; (5) As you swing back towards the arete, be aggressive in clawing and smearing your way to the crack as your swing slows and comes to an end; (6) Heel hook and mantel over the edge of the arete and you're done! Fun stuff. Tom Evans photo sequence: We slowed down considerably as we got to the Grey Bands area. Here Dustin is jugging pitch 21 I think: Dustin breezed us past the Great Roof, after which we slowed to a crawl as night once again cloaked us and we hit the 24 hour milestone of continuous effort. Dustin crawled up Pancake Flake, and I climbed like molasses up to Camp 5 where we decided to sleep for a few hours before one of us made a stupid mistake. Several times belaying Dustin, I would close my eyes briefly and almost immediately fall into a delicious REM sleep, only to be awakened by a sharp snap of rope being pulled through my gri gri, a disappointing reminder of my current predicament. As Dustin was jugging the pitch to C5, I fell asleep and woke as he neared after what seemed like hours later, but of course wasn't. But time lapse was irrelevant at this point in the climb. As I opened my eyes from yet another lucid dream, I saw a carousel shaped UFO down near the valley. It was a cake shaped craft with red and yellow rotating lights hovering in place. It eventually drifted off to the West out of sight without a sound. Yeah, we needed to get some sleep obviously. We were up and moving by 5:30am after a not too bad bivi. Dustin had the funky pinscars of the Glowering Spot for breakfast, while I feasted on the Changing corners pitch and the two pitches after that, which were breathtakingly stunning cracks so high and exposed on the route. Dustin starting up the Glowering Spot pitch: Dustin jugging the Changing Corners pitch. This belay stance is unforgettable: Dustin jugging the Alcove pitch: D. reaching the Wild Stance belay: El Cap. Who conquered whom? Dustin took us home to the top, where we posed for an awkward and ill-timed summit photo. I was too wasted to re-do it, so this is it... We had abundant light left to descend the East Ledges, which neither of us had done. Frequent cairns marked the easy hike to the raps. We had to wait for a certain, white goatee'd gentleman jugging the EL's fixed ropes with a backpack and two jumars only, seemingly floating up the slick rock in tennis shoes; no harness and no daisies. It takes him about 5 minutes to cover the 600' of rope. He is immediately recognizable to me as, "That one dude who free'd the Muir Wall." He corrects me on his variation, and introduces himself as Rob Miller. Dustin is antsy to get down, as he has been out of smokes since the Pancake Flake pitch and he's ready to rip my eyeballs out of their sockets if I delay any further. And we want pizza and beer, and get the hell out of our harnesses. The next day, hanging at the bridge with Tom Evans, we chat with a father/son party who had topped out Zodiac yesterday. Dad's eyes are full of fire, and the son is riding on his own high. Dad says he couldn't have had a better Father's Day present than completing a bigwall with his son. Dad and son honk and woot as they drive by the bridge on their long drive back to Oregon. Tom yells, "Yer gonna die!" Dad yells back, "We're ALL gonna die someday!" Tom chuckles, "He's got that right." He bends down behind the massive scope attached to his camera and fires off a few more photos, explaining the fine art of big wall climbing to the next group of tourists wandering by on this most perfect of Yosemite days.

I think you should be required to climb the ICG in spiked golf shoes for an appropriate handicap. Otherwise, the Ice Cliff is too easy for you.

I had this pretty intensely about a year 1/2 ago after using the Captains of Crush hand grippersat work during stressful phone conversations, and climbing plastic indoors also aggravated it. After ceasing those two activities and only climbing outdoors did it eventually go away.

Hard 5.9 move off Library Ledge + Undiagnosed Anxiety Disorder + Last Night's Exxon Sushi + no TP = The perfect shit storm.

I don't buy it. Feces can be temporarily absorbed back into the red blood cells of the lower intestines in times of extreme urgency in inconvenient locations.

An ironic 5 stars...

...to the douchebag who took a huge, messy dump at the top of the Iconoclast corner crack, and left his/her socks as toilet paper stuffed into the crack. Next time you eat Mexican the night before, maybe take along a WAG bag with you on the climb...you idiot.

What is this "skiing"? I've heard of it and it sounds funny when I say it.

Bump for an 11th hour plea for anyone who may have tomorrow off!

I'm thinking about taking the day off work this Thursday in the hopes of doing a couple routes on Snow Creek Wall. If interested, send PM or email: touring29@gmail.com. or Text: 509.699.9810 Okee doke! If no takers, then I'll just go to work I guess... John

Bump. Looking for this Saturday...

Here's a photo I took last Saturday that may give you a general idea of where you will hit snow in Hook Creek.

Cool photos! The Full Boar splitter is compelling. I have to climb that someday. Man that granite looks Delish up there. I think I remember Ben Stanton talking about climbing around on that wall at some point in his prolific Icicle wanderings. Not sure...

Gracias.

This Saturday 6/1, is anyone available for a couple routes on snow Creek wall or some pitches on Castle Rock? I have the day free if anyone wants to get out. PM me or email: touring29@gmail John

Trip: 8 Mile Buttress Escape - Mr. Tremendous-Hello Kitty-Buzz Bomb Date: 5/25/2013 Trip Report: It's springtime and you know what that means. As you enter Icicle Canyon, and the roadside is lined 3 Subarus deep until Bridge Creek Campground, you know it's time to find an obscure climb and to go up high. 8 Mile Buttress fits this bill. There are many options, but the link we've done over the years and keep coming back to, is the Mr. Tremendous-Hello Kitty-Buzz Bomb trio. Mr. T is the harder next door neighbor to the popular Tree Route. It's two pitches are fairly sustained slab and edges with just enough bolts to ease your mind. Pitch one starts with a committing move over a small roof followed by smeary slab climbing up a blunt arete for almost a full pitch at 5.9+. Kyle working his way up Pitch One The second pitch is the business. Fun climbing surmounting overhangs on great holds and "okay" pro leads to a stance below the bulge offering a cruxy highstep onto tiny divots. The bolt's at chest level, so you can relax a little, but after pulling the move, it is runout. Move directly left after the crux, up positive edges then back way right to the finishing runout slab. Kyle at the crux Spoiler alert. Kyle shows you where the hidden jug is. Surmount this and you're in slab heaven/hell, your choice. Top out and hike a few hundred feet to Hello Kitty. Two pitches of 5.9+ climbing. Pitch one is a mix of bolts and gear on fun, positive edges and nicely cleaned granite. Kyle working his way up pitch one. Pitch two starts with easy slab that takes you to a hollow flake that graces the climber with perfect hands jamming for 30 feet. Kyle following pitch two When the positive edges end, you're bailed out by generous chickenheads that take you to the splitter crack. Top out this section, and again hike a few hundred feet to Upper 8 Mile Buttress. Upper 8 Mile, outfitted by the hard work of Ron Cotman and company, is high quality. All the routes have new bolts and chain anchors. The best lines are scrubbed clean, and really, you can hike directly up to Upper 8 mile and easily spend the day there, as well as on Smorgasbord Crag. Swingline is one of my favorites up there, but today we chose Buzz Bomb, 2 pitches of 5.10b. BB is located on the east side up the buttress. It's a bit of an anomaly for the Icicle, as the route features steep edging, i.e., no slabs. Pitch one is a lesson in committing mantels. However, all the moves are nicely protected, and take gear as well as qd's. Kyle following pitch one One up here, you get a good look at how far above the morass you are. Pitch two is more steep edge pulling as Kyle shows Pitch two of Buzz Bomb interrupts the steep edges with a steep finger crack that will have you laughing. Reach the anchors to great views up valley to Axis Peak and Mt. Stuart. It's like being in the alpine without being in the alpine. Two raps off brand new chain anchors back to your pack and the easy hike back down. But before bounding down back to your Subaru, do take a moment to drink in the silence and contemplate the Rat Creek crags and beyond.

I can barely make it past the first overhang on top rope! That thing is burly. I've had better luck on Das. That's a great lead Sol!

Just on Upper castle alone, in addition to what Pete said: 1) Mf Overhang Right, 2) MF Direct, 3) No Such Thing as a Free Lunge, 4) Dans Dreadful Direct, to the 5) Hangdog 6) Satanic Verses 7) Rainbow Connection... An onsight lead of any of these routes would be impressive!

Interesting. Why would you "intentionally" leave the camera at home, but post a link that gives detailed route info, with photos? Or maybe i'm interpreting it wrong. Maybe your climbing camera is a large format 4x5 view camera, and thus did not want to be burdened with the extra weight?? Nevertheless, thanks for the post about climbing options in the area.

Nice report. The ICG certainly does not look skiable. Isn't it normally a lot fatter this time of year??

Great Report Kevin O! You're a busy guy. Are you still interning at CWH?

Thanks Veronica! Like they say, It's hard to take a bad photo in Yosemite!

Hey thanks Rad. Reading it again seems like it happened a few years ago, although every time I bump my fingertip against the rock, it's a sharp reminder of the ordeal. I wonder how long frostbitten digits take to lose that sensitivity?