No guns, rampant alcoholism, I'd be 3' taller than everyone. Where's the fun in that? Go back to Iceland, toadstool.
Fine, no Japan, how about Switzerland then, pissface? No crime, great working ethic, more guns than you can shake a stick at, kick ass beer and cheese and chocolate for the ladies, and if you leave the Hawaii shirts behind then you'd look just like everybody else. Or, take them with and you'll look like an E poppin, disco dancin Euro boy. Whatever you prefer.
If that doesn't work for you just chime back and I can suggest something else.