olyclimber Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Trip: Warrior Peak - 1a Date: 6/5/2016 Trip Report: Two Elderly People Fail To Climb Mountain Two elderly folk escaped the infirmary this last weekend, and stumbled up the Dungeness valley to the Warrior-Constance circe. In various stages of decomposition, both old men fought valiantly against gravity and other forces both real and imagined. A general lack of preparedness reigned, from the faded/unreadable photocopy of a topo from a printer running out of toner, and lack of vocabulary to understand terms in the route description (well the vocabulary was there once, but was forgotten or misplaced in the mind)to the most egregious error : lack of mosquito netting. With wrinkles, grey hair, palsy, and forgetfulness these wizened shells of former selves left the trail a couple of miles after the Boulder shelter and mistaking one creek for another and found a high camp up in the alpine with views toward Inner Constance and Constance Pass and Mt Fricaba. There they were hosted by a hummingbird, who hung around camp during their stay, perhaps smelling the decaying flesh, waiting for bones to pick clean. The sun set, and then it rose again. The old people got up and in no hurry packed up and scrambled through the brush back down to the trail in search of the correct creek. After the waterfall they stumbled back up hill and toward the "cirque". If that term had been fresh in their rotting minds they might have easily walked up to it, but instead they searched for a "prominent couloir", any couloir could have been it on the foreshortened slopes. The failing eyesight of the aged was not helping. After not finding any "couloir of obvious prominence" stumbling up hill for some while, they found themselves in what they remembered is known as a "cirque" by the rest of humanity. From here...what should present it's self to the bags bones but a couloir...of some clear degree of prominence. Could this be the fabled couloir? It was not known to the elderly, but they agreed to drag themselves up it in lack of a better option. At the top of the couloir it was revealed that these victims of the passing years were accidentally in the right place. Like the men, the day was not young anymore. And nor was there a desire to climb low 5.1 choss. These dinosaurs did not go silently. No...they whined and complained first. Then they made excuses. The required testicals and/or ovaries were searched for and not located. But in the end, and in the face of certain ridicule by those in the know, a whimpering retreat was made. Recaptured by the authorities and shaking with palsy, the old men returned to their underwear staining and cup drooling at the infirmary. Gear Notes: The elderly appreciate a good walking stick for the knees. Approach Notes: Head left after the waterfall (or later) and then up to the cirque : cirque sərk noun 1. GEOLOGY a half-open steep-sided hollow at the head of a valley or on a mountainside, formed by glacial erosion. from there, find the couloir of prominence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonNelson Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 The elderly people write the best TRs, it seems. Thanks. All excellent photos. That sunburst with all the colors is amazing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gapertimmy Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 way to send it old dudes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasonG Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 I would give it six stars if I could. And Timmay??!! The planets have aligned, it is an auspicious day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayne Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 nice shots! great report too. thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OlympicMtnBoy Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 C'mon old people, it's only 5.1. You can climb that with a cane and depends. Hehe, close enough though, nice TR. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 that shit is so gnar i would have turned tail too! seems like a really nice outing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rad Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Summit schmummit. Looks like a successful outing to me. Mountains - check. Sunshine - check. Killer views - check. Friends - check. Workout - check. No injuries - check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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