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MY RESUME IS BETTER THAN YOURS


ChestBeater

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I have numerous friends I climb with, they are guides, engineers, doctors, rangers, students, and unemployed dirtbags. They may have written guidebooks, may have been guides, may even have criminal records, but that is really irrelivant. The fact is this, they are wonderful people whom I share pitches, pitchers and good times.

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I have numerous friends I climb with, they are guides, engineers, doctors, rangers, students, and unemployed dirtbags. They may have written guidebooks, may have been guides, may even have criminal records, but that is really irrelivant. The fact is this, they are wonderful people whom I share pitches, pitchers and good times.

 

 

Thanks Porter.

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I have numerous friends I climb with, they are guides, engineers, doctors, rangers, students, and unemployed dirtbags. They may have written guidebooks, may have been guides, may even have criminal records, but that is really irrelivant. The fact is this, they are wonderful people whom I share pitches, pitchers and good times.

 

wow, after the 50th time the joke is still no funnier than after the 3rd or 4th time...

 

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I have numerous friends I climb with, they are guides, engineers, doctors, rangers, students, and unemployed dirtbags. They may have written guidebooks, may have been guides, may even have criminal records, but that is really irrelivant. The fact is this, they are wonderful people whom I share pitches, pitchers and good times.

 

wow, after the 50th time the joke is still no funnier than after the 3rd or 4th time...

 

STFU n00b

 

You mean like that?

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Okay.. well wanna hear me resume bitches!

 

I have been climbing indoors for 5 years, outdoors for 2 or so. I won several climbing competitions including the Canadian Nationals on toprope. I am an utter badass and even graduated high school last week. I don't have a criminal record only cuz I never get caught because my running and fence jumping skill are fucking raging! I even have a girlfriend... I swear shit loads and everyone knows thats fucking badass! I even swear in front of less badass people just to be offensive. I climb 5.12 trad and sport and I swear on every send! Even when I am cranking down V8 boulder problems without a crash pad under me I yell swear words so everyone looks at me and thinks Im so fucking awesome! I even climb with other badass people so respect me and bow in my awesome presence!

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I was climbing once with a certain person who has done quite a bit of route development in Skaha and Squamish. I just happened to mention the words "Fred Beckey" in some context and he replied with "Did you know I have climbed many more first ascents than Fred Beckey has?". :lmao:

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I was climbing once with a certain person who has done quite a bit of route development in Skaha and Squamish. I just happened to mention the words "Fred Beckey" in some context and he replied with "Did you know I have climbed many more first ascents than Fred Beckey has?". :lmao:

 

:lmao: thats one of the funniest things Ive ever heard!

 

 

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I was climbing once with a certain person who has done quite a bit of route development in Skaha and Squamish. I just happened to mention the words "Fred Beckey" in some context and he replied with "Did you know I have climbed many more first ascents than Fred Beckey has?". :lmao:

 

:lmao: thats one of the funniest things Ive ever heard!

 

 

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA FRED BECKEY!!!!! :lmao::lmao::lmao:

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I've embraced the label "unconventional"

 

When life throws me a curve-ball, I think to myself "At least I'm not a thousand feet off the deck without a rope... this is nothing." I'll land butter side up.

 

Cuz I know that, no matter what happens, there's nothing like not dying on a climb to make you feel good.

 

My home? Wherever my gear is.

 

My car? A place to live, sometimes weeks at a time.

 

My job? The place I go in between climbing to let my wounds heal.

 

I'm not the only one. We all maintain relationships with people whose universe doesn't involve the stress of dropping your entire 'biner of nuts from three pitches up a six pitch climb. People who haven't found themselves sleeping under the stars soaking wet in a sudden downpour thinking "thank goodness I'm in my synthetic bag instead of down." People who sleep inside 365 days a year and have never driven through the night. Whose hands don't sweat when they see a picture of a big rock with a crack in it. And, who don't routinely trust their and a partner's life to their collective judgment, skill, equipment, experience, and creativity.

 

Maybe I'm just weird by virtue of being, and spending so much time around, other unconventional people and not around enough "normal" ones.

 

When the "normal" ones ask where I'm going, I tell them: I've got a climb to do. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of most little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday they'll understand that.

 

 

Edited by tvashtarkatena
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