pink Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 (edited) When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush. He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return. It became very quiet in the room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?' A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 5,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?' Once again, dead silence. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?' Without hesitating, the America n Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.' You could have heard a pin drop ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, i couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to." Edited February 19, 2009 by pink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Conway Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 dude, wanna drink? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pink Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 i'll meet u at the bar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Conway Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 i'll meet u at the bar hurry - closes in 2 hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pink Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 ur bar sucks ass and u smoke pole Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Conway Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 ur bar sucks ass well, it does have a big picture of a pot leaf with a cross through it asking you not to smoke it. On the plus side it's defacto legal here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush. He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return. It became very quiet in the room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?' A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 5,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?' Once again, dead silence. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?' Without hesitating, the America n Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.' You could have heard a pin drop ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, i couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to." America - fuck yeah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pink Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 WOW THIS IS A GREAT THREAD. BREAK OUT THE FREEDOM FRIES AND SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM AND WE GOTTA PARTY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 HAHA THE FRENCH ARE PUSSIES LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 What can I say to produce dead silence in this room? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 yer not a patriot until you've sawed your own leg off with a rusty bayonet and sung about it afterwards as I have you fucking poseurs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pink Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 i think i just heard a pin drop.... i'm not certain... but i'm pretty sure that was a pin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtyHarry Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 No. It was just the DJIA again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Yo DJIA, don't let the beat drop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 could it be the same people who wrote this fucking gem that i had forwarded to me by half a dozen mofo's today? Class Act: Written on Jan. 21, 2009 Yesterday 1. Outgoing President George W. Bush quietly boards his helicopter and leaves for Texas, commenting only: “Today is not about me. Today is a historical day for our nation and people.” Eight years ago yesterday: 1. Outgoing President Bill Clinton schedules two separate radio addresses to the nation, and organizes a public farewell speech/ rally in downtown Washington D.C. scheduled to directly conflict with incoming President Bush’s inauguration ceremony. Yesterday: 2. President Bush leaves office without issuing a single Presidential pardon, only granting a commutation of sentence to two former border patrol agents convicted of shooting a convicted drug smuggler. He does not grant any type of clemency to Scooter Libby or any other former political aide, ally, or business partner. Eight years ago yesterday: 2.. President Clinton issues 140 pardons and several commutations of sentence on his final day in office. Included in these are: billionaire financier, convicted tax evader, and leading Democratic campaign contributor Marc Rich; Whitewater scandal figure Susan McDougal; Congressional Post Office Scandal figure and former Democratic Congressman Dan Rostenkowski; convicted bank fraud, sexual assault and child porn perpetrator and former Democratic Congressman Melvin Reynolds; and convicted drug felon Roger Clinton, the President’s half-brother. Yesterday: 3. The Bush daughters leave gift baskets in the White House bedrooms for the Obama daughters, containing flowers, candy, stuffed animals, DVD’s and CD’s, and heartfelt notes of encouragement and advice for the young girls on how to prepare for their new lives in the White House. Eight years ago Yesterday: 3. Clinton and Gore staffers rip computer wires and electrical outlets from the White House walls, stuff piles of notebook papers into the White House toilets, systematically remove the letter “W” from every computer key-pad in the entire White House, and damage several thousand dollars worth of furniture in the White House master bedroom. Headlines On This Date 4 Years Ago as Bush Began his 2nd Term : “Republicans spending $42 million on inauguration while troops Die in unarmored Humvees” “Bush extravagance exceeds any reason during tough economic times” “Fat cats get their $42 million inauguration party, Ordinary Americans get the shaft” Headlines Today Jan., 21, 2009: “Historic Obama Inauguration will cost only $170 million” “Obama Spends $170 million on inauguration; America Needs A Big Party” “Everyman Obama shows America how to celebrate” “Citibank executives contribute $8 million to Obama Inauguration” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prole Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Who writes this kind of crap? Good question! I'd say it's probably some mixture of propaganda hacks on furlough from the Cato Institute or Reader's Digest, retired veteran goofs wearing twin-peaked caps emblazoned with numerous trinkets, your Mom, bored housewives of corporate execs who (still)have too much time on their hands that mad as hell that they have to shop at Costco now, Republicans, out of work Paul Ron campaign workers... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prole Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Paul Harvey is the mastermind of this sort of down-home, home-spun nonsense. You should shoot him an email, maybe he'll send you a little junior-deputy badge for doing your part to help spread the fertilizer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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