questions for parents who climb

[minx]

every now and again, i think about the wisdom of continuing to climb with a child at home. being a parent has clearly substantially impacted my climbing in a couple of ways: time and worry

 

how much less do you climb than you did before you had kids? why do you climb less? is it just b/c you're busy w/the kids or do you worry about the risks w/climbing?

 

i quit climbing for a good while after my son was born b/c i worried about leaving him one parent short. is this just a mom thing? what about you dads? does it factor in? how about the stay at home, mr. mom types?

 

how much do your kids social activities, sports, and school keep you from climbing? do your kids climb?

 

just curious

[Mal_Con]

Still climb just not as hard. Kids have all had rock climbing at gyms and know how to belay are better than me but do not like trad alpine as too much work.

[wyldwyogal]

Hello from Wyoming, Minx.

I hit a milestone this weekend---I let my 7 year old daughter and her friends have a sleep over in my beloved trail tent. I was putting it by myself thinking, "Damn, I should use this more. Man, where can I head out and WHEN...etc"

I used to go out into NW Wyoming whenever I could-by myself.

It just doesn't happen so much now. For me, it's a mom-thing.

HEAVY SIGH,

WWG

[Off_White]

Avoiding dying while climbing has always been a pretty high priority, so having kids didn't change much about that for me. It's not like all of a sudden I had a reason to live and needed to stop being a yahoo with a deathwish. Time constraints from the added complexity and responsibility layered onto life, now that's a different story...

[RuMR]

off has hit it on the head, the only reason i don't climb more as a parent has to do with TIME or more specifically, lack of TIME...

 

We are all gonna die and we don't/can't determine when its gonna happen...

[ken4ord]

I have always wanted to keep climbing until later in life, so I have never really put my neck out on the chopping block. Though for some it may seem I have. I don't find myself turning around because of Simone, but because I don't want to fuck up. I am definitely climbing less than I used to in Seattle, mainly cause there isn't too much real rock climbing around. I think if I was in Seattle most likely I would be climbing a little less, but I would definitely try to plan weekends with other parents so that I could still get out climbing and still spend time with Simone and Misti. Simone at 1.5 year old has already has an interest in climbing, she like hanging out by the climbing wall and tries to get on it, but the holds are to far apart and it is overhanging. So if we end up moving in an area that has climbing hopefully she would get into it.

I could never think about quitting climbing for safety reasons, climbing in my opinion is a lot safer than other sports I like. I definitely have toned down my riding, though. I try not to worry about leaving Simone one parent down, because there are so many different ways of doing that outside of climbing, it doesn't make sense to, I could find a reason to worry about everyday activities. I think mom's tend to worry a little more than dad's, in general, but that doesn't mean you have to follow the norm. Though in order to enjoy yourself you do have to remove 'what-if' thoughts. I am not sure if Misti would sign up for a 7 day paddling trip on croc and hippo infested water, I think she would be thinking too much, where as I think I will find it relaxing quite enjoyable adventure.

[markwebster]

My wife and I raised two climbers 20 and 23 now. My wife didn't bring him climbing until he was 5 weeks old, though she was in Joshua Tree at 6 months pregnant climbing.

 

We tried to continue climbing as before, bringing the baby along as if he was a dog or something. I remember being up on a 10a at Squamish. It was a bit run out on a bad wire and I asked Sue to watch me closely. Right then the baby, who had been sleeping on her back, started crying.

 

She had to choose between me and the baby. I realized then that we had to bring a third person, it couldn't be just me and my wife as it had been for 9 great years.

 

Once we had two kids, it got hard to find a third person who would put up with two small kids. Meanwhile our skill was dropping, and I fell into windsurfing as that didn't require partners. I still climbed, but only 30% of what I used to.

 

Once they got old enough to play by themselves, we would leave them at the base in safe areas like Morning Glory wall at Smith where we could see them from above.

 

We never considered stopping climbing because it is dangerous. I don't think rock climbing is any more dangerous than the drive over, assuming you are a cautious climber.

 

My interests and focus on climbing go through cycles. Because the kids are so much fun to be around, I was happy to back off a bit on climbing, choosing hobbies that fit the family lifestyle better like windsurfing and landscape painting.

 

My wife definitely backed way off on her climbing in their early years, probably 70%. They needed her, and she was happy to be there for them, even took 9 years off work to be a mom. They always came along to Leavenworth, but we had to have a baby sitter (grandparents who like camping!). There was no gym in Tacoma while they were growing up, so it was a slow process exposing them to the sport.

 

Now the kids are adults, it's been hard getting my old partner (my wife) enthused about climbing again, though she still goes 10 times a year or so.

 

I plan to take her to the peshastin pinnacles a lot this spring as she loves those easy slab climbs. My friction skills have been neglected as of late, so it will be good for both of us.

 

My kids have both stopped climbing for a while as college homework (nursing program) and jobs take precedence.

 

pictures of us on our last valley trip this summer here:

our family in the valley

 

Hope that helps. You can have kids and keep climbing, but not as much as before. But it's ok as the kids are so much fun they more than make up the difference.

 

It's sad how many excellent women climbers choose not to have kids because they think it will "ruin" their lives. You see them walking around the crag with dogs and it's so sad to watch them pour all that love into a dog, when it could be their child.

 

I think it's all about balance.

 

 

[JackY]

 

I've never been one to really hang it out there, so I don't worry that I'm going to "leave" my family climbing. With young kids at home it's almost impossible to get out. But as the years go by I think it will be important to keep climbing. It's important to me and all of my friends are climbers. Climbing has had such a huge positive impact on my life. I want my kids to grow up seeing that I'm doing what is important to me and to be exposed to outdoor adventure and comradery(sp?).

[kevbone]

Time away from home puts more stress on those who stay and watch the youngster……therefore my time at the crag is considerably shorter.

[minx]

so you trade time off with your spouse? ie. you get to go climbing and she gets to do xy or z?

 

we used to take my son to the crag with us which worked pretty well except that he wasn't into climbing. h/e a boy with some dirt, trees, and sword can be amused for hours. never thought of bringing a kidsitter, that would've been a smart idea.

 

its not the fear of death that factored into my thinking when he was little, it was the fear of injury. i was on crutches for several weeks when he was about a year old from a non climbing bit of stupidity. that was a serious hassle w/a little one.

 

now i just suck due to totally non kid related factors

[ZONK]

The spouse and Me trade off all the time, but you cant forget about taking time with each other and including everyone in the family also. When My first was born I worried about a lot of things, like never coming home its a balance act, how far, how hard, how long etc......... I'm sure many ponder this question often

[sk]

Minx,

 

I have 2 boys. one likes to hike and one is a totaly city boy. neither of them really like to climb. they would much rather (as Tweens) be at home listening to music and playing video games riding bikes and hanging out with thier friends. going with me to the crag is getting totaly boring. they used to be entertained for hours playing in the dirt, and i was blessed for years woth of climbing partners and thirds that loved my kids and were totaly willing to hang out with my kids. but my climbing has been droping off more and more. and now with my being sick, my partner being a non climber and the kids not really climbing, i almost never get out. I imagine the day will come, when I have time again... but right now it just doesn't feel like a huge priority. I miss it. I have days when i cry cus i would really rather be climbing. but it isn't worth it to listen to every one bitch because of what i want to do.

[minx]

i'm lucky in that my son is a great person to hang out with so i enjoy his company at the barn with my horses or at the crag while i'm climbing. he is also in that "tween" stage. learning to play guitar and video games but he's finally showing an interest in climbing. guess i'm lucky that he'll go from playing in the dirt to climbing. he's good for about 4 hours of time at the crag before he's a total pita. not too bad really.

[rob]

Finding time for climbing is a constant source of conflict in my life. It's a very delicate balancing act.

 

My wife is not interested in climbing at all.

[sk]

Finding time for climbing is a constant source of conflict in my life. It's a very delicate balancing act.

 

My wife is not interested in climbing at all.

 

we should climb!

[sk]

i'm lucky in that my son is a great person to hang out with so i enjoy his company at the barn with my horses or at the crag while i'm climbing. he is also in that "tween" stage. learning to play guitar and video games but he's finally showing an interest in climbing. guess i'm lucky that he'll go from playing in the dirt to climbing. he's good for about 4 hours of time at the crag before he's a total pita. not too bad really.

 

you are lucky!! i love to hang out with my guys too... they are intersting and amazing people. they just are interested in different things than i am.

[Sherri]

Finding time for climbing is a constant source of conflict in my life. It's a very delicate balancing act.

 

 

I feel your pain, Rob.

 

Hard enough finding that balance with just a spouse to mollify. Can't imagine how much harder it would be with kids thrown in the mix.

[JayB]

From Greg Child's essay entitled "The Denz Option"

 

"The Bill Denz I recall was a man who was self-sufficient, stoic, complex, reticent, intense, ambitious, competitive, steel-willed, fiery, fearless, undemonstrative, and selfish. These are the attributes of the classic alpinist."

 

Infuse your personality with enough of these attributes and you will have all of the uncommitted time that you can handle, methinks.

[rmncwrtr]

I guess I'm the oddity since I started climbing after kids. Being new to climbing (started this summer), scared of heights and very cautious in general means I haven't really worried about not coming home to the family. Everything I've done has been a day trip or a few hours somewhere. And very easy. Top roping.

 

I've only been rock climbing, but plan to give Alpine a try this spring. My hubby climbed Hood in the Spring. I'll be honest though, I'd rock climb with him, just the two of us, but wouldn't Alpine climb with him due to the kids. It just seems to me with Alpine there are more variables and things that could go wrong, especially when you don't have a lot of experience.

 

As for climbing w/kids, I took mine (9, 7 and then 4) to Smith twice this summer (with guides.) We also do family climb nights at a local rec center's indoor wall. My oldest's birthday falls on Easter this year so we've got Spring Break right after that. I asked what she wanted to do...ski and climb. So we're skiing four days in Hood and then heading to Smith. We'll use the same guide again. I feel that's the safest way to go with the kids right now. My younger two aren't as sure about climbing yet, but they're pretty much up for anything we do as a family. But right now, their entire focus is on skiing and the next time we can go. Love those Fusion passes!

 

As for climbing time, I don't do a lot on my own outside of the family (we keep busy) so hubby has been very encouraging to let me have whatever time I need to pursue this new passion. Right now, I gym climb two to three times a week. Either when the kids are all at school or if the hubby can watch them. He's been working from home a lot when he's not traveling which has been great! I'm hoping that will translate to two to three times outside a week once the weather gets better and if I can find a rope gun or two!

 

I know hubby wants to do more Alpine and really wanted to try ice climbing this winter and I've told him to go for it and I'll hang with the kids, but he hasn't so far. I gave him a gift certificate at the rock gym I belong to for his birthday for an introductory class, so I'm hoping he does that soon. I've been getting the time to climb and he needs the same opportunities.

 

As for the risks. I've done a one-eighty from where I was this time last year with that. Hubby told someone at work during that December 06 Hood tragedy that for every minute I watched TV coverage about it, that was one more year he wouldn't be able to climb Hood.

 

That was true. I'd asked my hubby not to climb after we got married. He'd told me enough stories about his epics with his idiot climbing partner when we were hiking buddies and not dating that once we were seriously involved, I didn't want him to put himself in those situations again. He said that was fine, even though he really wanted to climb Hood after we moved up here. But after I learned more about climbing last year for a project I was working on and got to know a PMR guy and John Frieh they helped me get past my fears so I could give hubby a TMG gift certificate for a Hood climb for our anniversary. And even try climbing myself.

[rob]

I try hard to be both a climber and a father, but I end up not being very good at either.

 

Between my job, family, mortgage and climbing, sometimes my life feels a little bit runout.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

 

Minx,

 

I started climbing when my third kid was 2. I had always looked at the mountains and wanted to learn how to climb and finally got off my ass to do it.

 

Since I didn't climb before I had no kids, I can't say whether I'd climb more or less. I climb as much as I can, but that's a lot less than folks I know without kids, or with grown-up kids. Sometimes climbing pushes on being selfish. I've climbed every father's day for 4 years running, for example. I've been leaning more towards one-day trips in the past year, so I can spend 1/2 the weekend with the family. I really like doing Friday night car camps with an early start and a one day ascent. Last year I did a few this way: Mt. Saint Helens, Ingalls, Whitehorse, Silverstar, and Dragontail. But to be honest half of those were backups due to my overnight climb plans being rained out.

 

As for the risk factor, I err on the side of caution. I'm averse to doing very committing routes and don't see this changing anytime soon. Grade II-III is cool, but grade IV routes are probably out of the question for the foreseeable future.

 

 

 

 

[sk]

Minx,

 

I started climbing when my third kid was 2. I had always looked at the mountains and wanted to learn how to climb and finally got off my ass to do it.

 

Since I didn't climb before I had no kids, I can't say whether I'd climb more or less. I climb as much as I can, but that's a lot less than folks I know without kids, or with grown-up kids. Sometimes climbing pushes on being selfish. I've climbed every father's day for 4 years running, for example. I've been leaning more towards one-day trips in the past year, so I can spend 1/2 the weekend with the family. I really like doing Friday night car camps with an early start and a one day ascent. Last year I did a few this way: Mt. Saint Helens, Ingalls, Whitehorse, Silverstar, and Dragontail. But to be honest half of those were backups due to my overnight climb plans being rained out.

 

As for the risk factor, I err on the side of caution. I'm averse to doing very committing routes and don't see this changing anytime soon. Grade II-III is cool, but grade IV routes are probably out of the question for the foreseeable future.

 

 

 

 

I started climbing afterthing 2 was born. it was easier for me when they were younger and i certinly did not progress as fast or as far as the people i know who started climbing well after me with out children. but much of that has to do with just sucking on my part.

[Sherri]

Between my job, family, mortgage and climbing, sometimes my life feels a little bit runout.

 

Wonder if there's a way to toprope some of the trickier bits?

[octopuswithafez]

Well, I had a make a choice to either focus on cycling or climbing this year , and chose cycling ( at least through STP). Its hard just getting to a gym or out for fitness rides, as well as respecting my wife's desire to have some time for herself. Having an energetic toddler is definitely fun, but certainly a crimp on the old hobbies :-)

[Off_White]

I'm lucky in that my eldest now gets the hard pitches.