Sherri Posted January 26, 2008 Share Posted January 26, 2008 How do you respond to someone who constantly prefaces their statements with this phrase??? Hearing it puts me on the defensive right away, and I end up not listening to the rest of their thought because I'm ruffled that they assumed that I "don't understand" before even telling me what it is that I apparently don't understand. The person is going through a REALLY hard time right now--which I do understand, at least to some extent--but this phrase is wearing on my patience. Understand? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe_Poulton Posted January 26, 2008 Share Posted January 26, 2008 What I don't understand is how people (person) assume to make an assoutofyou and me..there you go that should be your rebuttal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 "I feel like I'm on the defensive when I hear that phrase. I'd like not to be, so I'd like you to not use it anymore." Done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billcoe Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 "I feel like I'm on the defensive when I hear that phrase. I'd like not to be, so I'd like you to not use it anymore." Done. But of course you'd start that diatribe out with this statement: "What you don't understand, is ..." Followed by this action to clarify what you mean: Link to video Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Sprinkle a few 'douchebag's in there and you're in for a pretty spicey Saturday night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TREETOAD Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 The person using that phrase is not interested in listening to your advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherri Posted January 27, 2008 Author Share Posted January 27, 2008 "I feel like I'm on the defensive when I hear that phrase. I'd like not to be, so I'd like you to not use it anymore." Done. I was thinking along those lines, too...something constructive but not hurtful that acknowledges my discomfort but also points out that this is not the ideal phrase for facilitating dialogue. That sounded pretty sappy, didn't it? No wonder they don't want my advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crux Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 fushing doooosh bags doan unnerstand me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Use the "I", not "You" word. But you might be tapping a night stick or similar bludgeoning tool against your palm while you do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairweather Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 ..is that in the back of it, the Maltese Falcon is everyplace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_like_sun Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Good communication is 90% listening. I feel ya Sherri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Ask the person if they've ever seen "Cool Hand Luke". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EWolfe Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Another one that drives me crazy is "You Need To..." Goddamn passive-aggressive transference BS, clean your own damn house! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 WHAT I DO UNNASTAN IZZAT YOU NEED TO EAT SUM BALLS ASS EYES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherri Posted January 27, 2008 Author Share Posted January 27, 2008 Another one that drives me crazy is "You Need To..." Goddamn passive-aggressive transference BS, clean your own damn house! Yep, it's right up there, too. Prefacing a directive with that one pretty much guarantees that I won't be doing whatever you said I needed to do. Use your communication skills, people. Nice try, G-Spotter. So close. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minx Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Sherri, i'm also fond of the phrase "we need to talk" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherri Posted January 27, 2008 Author Share Posted January 27, 2008 I hear what you're saying, Minx. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minx Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 but do you understand what i mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherri Posted January 27, 2008 Author Share Posted January 27, 2008 What you don't understand is that we need to talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvashtarkatena Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Men much prefer the phrase "we need to f#&k". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TREETOAD Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 You need to be proactive going forward Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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