Sherri Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 How do you respond to someone who constantly prefaces their statements with this phrase??? Hearing it puts me on the defensive right away, and I end up not listening to the rest of their thought because I'm ruffled that they assumed that I "don't understand" before even telling me what it is that I apparently don't understand. The person is going through a REALLY hard time right now--which I do understand, at least to some extent--but this phrase is wearing on my patience. Understand? Quote
Joe_Poulton Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 What I don't understand is how people (person) assume to make an assoutofyou and me..there you go that should be your rebuttal. Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 "I feel like I'm on the defensive when I hear that phrase. I'd like not to be, so I'd like you to not use it anymore." Done. Quote
billcoe Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 "I feel like I'm on the defensive when I hear that phrase. I'd like not to be, so I'd like you to not use it anymore." Done. But of course you'd start that diatribe out with this statement: "What you don't understand, is ..." Followed by this action to clarify what you mean: Link to video Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Sprinkle a few 'douchebag's in there and you're in for a pretty spicey Saturday night. Quote
TREETOAD Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 The person using that phrase is not interested in listening to your advice. Quote
Sherri Posted January 27, 2008 Author Posted January 27, 2008 "I feel like I'm on the defensive when I hear that phrase. I'd like not to be, so I'd like you to not use it anymore." Done. I was thinking along those lines, too...something constructive but not hurtful that acknowledges my discomfort but also points out that this is not the ideal phrase for facilitating dialogue. That sounded pretty sappy, didn't it? No wonder they don't want my advice. Quote
Crux Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 fushing doooosh bags doan unnerstand me... Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Use the "I", not "You" word. But you might be tapping a night stick or similar bludgeoning tool against your palm while you do. Quote
Fairweather Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 ..is that in the back of it, the Maltese Falcon is everyplace. Quote
i_like_sun Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Good communication is 90% listening. I feel ya Sherri Quote
Dechristo Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Ask the person if they've ever seen "Cool Hand Luke". Quote
EWolfe Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Another one that drives me crazy is "You Need To..." Goddamn passive-aggressive transference BS, clean your own damn house! Quote
G-spotter Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 WHAT I DO UNNASTAN IZZAT YOU NEED TO EAT SUM BALLS ASS EYES! Quote
Sherri Posted January 27, 2008 Author Posted January 27, 2008 Another one that drives me crazy is "You Need To..." Goddamn passive-aggressive transference BS, clean your own damn house! Yep, it's right up there, too. Prefacing a directive with that one pretty much guarantees that I won't be doing whatever you said I needed to do. Use your communication skills, people. Nice try, G-Spotter. So close. Quote
minx Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Sherri, i'm also fond of the phrase "we need to talk" Quote
Sherri Posted January 27, 2008 Author Posted January 27, 2008 What you don't understand is that we need to talk. Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Men much prefer the phrase "we need to f#&k". Quote
TREETOAD Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 You need to be proactive going forward Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.