Jump to content

Come on guys just make shit up!


Peter_Puget

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 61
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

so this one time on the snow lake trail, i saw someone who had slipped and badly sprained their ankle. i was pretty sure that their party were scientologists so ignored them and kept going.

 

a man acted as a crossing guard so his wife could pee when I was on the snowlake trail.

 

Baker Coleman. Had to use the toilets that are dropped in. Walked up - there was one guy using a toilet, and three open ones. A guy was waiting 100 feet from the toilets. I thought there was some reason (3 full toilets?). Asked him why he was waiting... "to give the guy privacy". Umm, OK.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One time I was walking down the Snow Lake Trail on my way back from the Tooth on a very busy sunny weekend day. I was really getting sick of giving the polite "hello" every six seconds, so I decided to just ignore or stare them all down. Fuck 'em. They can all get bent.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One time I was walking down the Snow Lake Trail on my way back from the Tooth on a very busy sunny weekend day. I was really getting sick of giving the polite "hello" every six seconds, so I decided to just ignore or stare them all down. Fuck 'em. They can all get bent.

 

Reminds me of the trail to Paradise...

 

"Did you climb the mountain?"

"Did you summit?"

"Are you a climber?"

 

arrrrrrr

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One time on Shuksan I had a bad case of the dog farts. I hoped that the strong winds would disperse the evil, but I suspect my poor partner was buffeted by strong winds of another type :(
We stood in the liquor section and debated the merits of various beers. The cases of MGD on sale for $9.99 piqued our interest and prompted Wayne to do some quick math.

 

Reminds me of doing Prince of Darkness or something on the Velvet Wall some years back and I had the worst MGD farts of my life from the previous night on the town in Vegas. The poor sap I had convinced to join me on his first multi-pitch adventure had to suffer not only his bugging eye, gripped out of his mind, first high exposure experience. But also, at most of the hanging belays, his face was stuck right at ass level with me. I could barely handle the odor myself. Kind of a nuclear fallout of rotten eggs/MGD thing with a stick like glue linger factor. Poor guy did'nt climb with me for a long time after that. :shock:
Link to comment
Share on other sites

TRUE NOT MAKING THIS ONE UP...

 

I wish this was on youtube, but alas no video proof...

 

i once fell off the cliff underneath Roger's corner at index...Went around the corner by that little arete boulder and two hawtties were changing into climbing duds getting ready to go up GNS...one had her top off and i turned around to say "Holy Shit, do you see ....SCREAM" to my buddy (Jdog) and stepped off the cliff backwards(good 25 feet down into blackberry brambles, sticks, etc.). Did a complete flip, landed on my back (fortunately neck was "cushioned" by the rope coil and backpack and piles of blackberry bushes/sticks/twigs/branches).

 

Jdog starts frantically looking for his cell phone to call 911 but then hears me dropping f-bombs and swearing up a storm, so he figures i'm ok...He then (complete asshole of a buddy, he is) leans over, and says at the top of his voice "YOU WERE LOOKING AT THOSE CHICKS, WEREN'T YOU DUMBASS??"...to which i responded with even more profanity as i bushwhacked out of there...man, i was picking thorns and sticks out of me for an hour or two over at the country...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pat, Dan and myself are heading to Squamish in Dan's mom's car.

 

At Horseshoe Bay, Dan stops to pick up hitchhiker girl. She's going to Whistler.

 

By the time we get to the Smoke Bluffs Dan has decided that driving hitchergirl to Whistler must take precedence over climbing with his bros.

 

Pat and I are climbing at Ronin's Corner three or four hours later when, over the noise of Pat's ghetto blaster playing Ministry at high volume, we hear "DRUUUUUUUUU! PAAAAAAAAAAAT!" yelled from somewhere near Penny Lane.

 

Pat fires off a bottle rocket or two.

 

Soon Dan wanders into view. Loudly he informs us (and the three other parties on the cliff) "I COULD HAVE GOTTEN LAID BUT I CAME BACK TO SQUAMISH TO CLIMB WITH YOU GUYS!"

 

This was on a Saturday. That evening, while smoking a fatty in pat's basement, Pat and Dan decide that they need to go sport climbing, so they hop in Dan's mom's car again and leave for Smith Rocks. Drive 8 hours,getting there Sunday morning around 2 AM. Motel, breakfast, off to the crag. Climb two routes (Toys in The Attic and Ring of Fire? something at Christian brothers anyway) then drive 8 hours back to Vancouver. On the bus on Monday I call bullshit on Pat until he shows me the gas and motel receipts.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, my grip strength training really came in handy for that one. I hardly even used my legs. Good thing I had my heart rate monitor alarms set so I didn't climb too fast. The descent's a pain in the ass, so we just cell phoned for a rescue chopper to take us off the top.

 

I always wondered what happened to lambone. I guess he's TVK

Link to comment
Share on other sites

one sunny day I was hugging a rock for dear life, I slowly and smoothly reached a nice juicy jug and then shoved my nuts into a nice clean crack. It wasnt a perfect fit and put my nuts in and out of the crack for a while until my biggest nut got stuck!!! After 1/2 hour of pushing and pulling on my nuts a grabbed my hammer and started whaling the shit outa by nuts. It tooks six good hits until my nut came outa that crack and now I;m telling ya... its quite a bit wider... almost stacked hands now!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pat, Dan and myself are heading to Squamish in Dan's mom's car.

 

At Horseshoe Bay, Dan stops to pick up hitchhiker girl. She's going to Whistler.

 

By the time we get to the Smoke Bluffs Dan has decided that driving hitchergirl to Whistler must take precedence over climbing with his bros.

 

Pat and I are climbing at Ronin's Corner three or four hours later when, over the noise of Pat's ghetto blaster playing Ministry at high volume, we hear "DRUUUUUUUUU! PAAAAAAAAAAAT!" yelled from somewhere near Penny Lane.

 

Pat fires off a bottle rocket or two.

 

Soon Dan wanders into view. Loudly he informs us (and the three other parties on the cliff) "I COULD HAVE GOTTEN LAID BUT I CAME BACK TO SQUAMISH TO CLIMB WITH YOU GUYS!"

 

This was on a Saturday. That evening, while smoking a fatty in pat's basement, Pat and Dan decide that they need to go sport climbing, so they hop in Dan's mom's car again and leave for Smith Rocks. Drive 8 hours,getting there Sunday morning around 2 AM. Motel, breakfast, off to the crag. Climb two routes (Toys in The Attic and Ring of Fire? something at Christian brothers anyway) then drive 8 hours back to Vancouver. On the bus on Monday I call bullshit on Pat until he shows me the gas and motel receipts.

 

 

 

Canadian climbers: there first sexual experience involved one female and a room full of guys

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pat, Dan and myself are heading to Squamish in Dan's mom's car.

 

At Horseshoe Bay, Dan stops to pick up hitchhiker girl. She's going to Whistler.

 

By the time we get to the Smoke Bluffs Dan has decided that driving hitchergirl to Whistler must take precedence over climbing with his bros.

 

Pat and I are climbing at Ronin's Corner three or four hours later when, over the noise of Pat's ghetto blaster playing Ministry at high volume, we hear "DRUUUUUUUUU! PAAAAAAAAAAAT!" yelled from somewhere near Penny Lane.

 

Pat fires off a bottle rocket or two.

 

Soon Dan wanders into view. Loudly he informs us (and the three other parties on the cliff) "I COULD HAVE GOTTEN LAID BUT I CAME BACK TO SQUAMISH TO CLIMB WITH YOU GUYS!"

 

This was on a Saturday. That evening, while smoking a fatty in pat's basement, Pat and Dan decide that they need to go sport climbing, so they hop in Dan's mom's car again and leave for Smith Rocks. Drive 8 hours,getting there Sunday morning around 2 AM. Motel, breakfast, off to the crag. Climb two routes (Toys in The Attic and Ring of Fire? something at Christian brothers anyway) then drive 8 hours back to Vancouver. On the bus on Monday I call bullshit on Pat until he shows me the gas and motel receipts.

 

 

 

Canadian climbers: there first sexual experience involved one female and a room full of guys

In Alaska you don't lose your girlfriend, you just lose your turn.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...