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I think I got infected on the internet.

 

It hurts when I pee.

 

it's a little known fact that the human urethra evolved to handle only the number "1". All the other numbers are an irritant causing many to act "pissy" or "pissed-off" in response. It is thought the consumption of alcohol softens and makes malleable the numbers "2" through "9" allowing their passing without increased irritation.

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