Holiday PC gone mad

[Fairweather]

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

 

TO: All Employees

DATE:November 14th 2004

 

RE: Christmas Party

 

 

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will takeplace on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!

 

 

We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 pm. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

 

 

Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

 

 

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty

================================================================

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November 15, 2004

 

 

RE: Holiday Party

 

 

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.

 

 

However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not

 

Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree present.

 

 

No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your

enjoyment.

 

 

Happy now?

 

 

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty

================================================================

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November..?? 2004

 

 

RE: Holiday Party

 

 

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous

requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to

accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA

Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

Help Somebody?????

 

 

Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the

union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe

$10.00 is a little chintzy.

NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

================================================================

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To: All Employees

DATE: I Forget..

 

 

RE: Holiday Party

 

 

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the

Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during

daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a

luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees'

beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the

end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in

little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

 

 

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from

the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the

restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to

sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a

flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission

to cross dress,no cross-dressing will be allowed. We will have booster seats

for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We

cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with

high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert

for Diabetics, - I am sorry the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar"

desserts.

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty

================================================================

 

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Fucking Employees

DATE: Who cares...

 

RE: The Fucking Holiday Party

 

 

Vegetarian pricks, I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this

party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly

at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put

it,and you'll get your fucking salad bar, including organic tomatoes.

 

But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them.

I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

 

I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!

================================================================

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: November 18, 2004

 

 

RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

 

 

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and

I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give

everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

 

 

Happy Holidays

[Bill_Simpkins]

That's funny stuff, because it's sooo true.

 

I don't understand the whole PC movement. I mean, it goes both ways. You can say stuff not to offend people, but isn't restraining what you feel somewhat offensive to yourself?

 

My opinion is: Say what you feel, or keep it to yourself. Both methods have its rewards.

To me, people that are very PC, are just liars.

[foraker]

I had a couple of experiences like this once. During the winter, I once showed up in my office and and exclaimed, 'Boy, it's a little nippy outside'. To which, our local PC policewoman replied "That's pretty racist, don't you think?"

[Dru]

It would be sad, if the emails FW quotes weren't obviously made up. It is funny though.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

I had a couple of experiences like this once. During the winter, I once showed up in my office and and exclaimed, 'Boy, it's a little nippy outside'.

 

Reminds me of the story a few years back of the white city councilman somewhere who used the word "niggardly" in reference to some funding issue (if I recall correctly) and was attacked as a racist by people too ignorant to know that the word is legitimate and has absolutely no etymological relationship to a similar-sounding racial slur.

 

[rbw1966]

Portland's own mayor Bud Clark once told a former female police chief, when bummed out by something or another, "tits up".

[ryland_moore]

I believe two years ago in Eugene, they made regulations against city offices showing any signs of x-mas decorations. christmas trees, presents, reindeer, carolers, santa, and present-themed items or painted windows was forbidden. I think they may have reversed this after some serious complaints.

[Off_White]

If you want to get the Christians all riled up, all you have to do is give Jesus the dark skin and a hooked nose he likely had. Think of him as an Arab proto insurgent at odds with the occupying force.

[EWolfe]

I worked with a Carpenter once who (seriously) got "sympathy pains" when his wife had intestinal disorder.

 

[Fairweather]

If you want to get the Christians all riled up, all you have to do is give Jesus the dark skin and a hooked nose he likely had. Think of him as an Arab proto insurgent at odds with the occupying force.

 

Likewise, if you want to get Greeners all riled up, all you have to say is Ed Abbey was a terrorist. Regardless, your analogy is way off. I believe Jesus actively discouraged armed revolt against the occupying Roman authority. "Render unto Ceasar", and all that....

[scott_harpell]

I think of him as a Jew pascifist. Not an Arab insurgant.

[Off_White]

Hey! Ed Abbey was a freedom fighter!

 

Granted, Jesus wasn't a violent insurgent, but what he promoted was pretty damn revolutionary, and would be just as unacceptable to the powers that be today. Turn the other cheek, love your enemy? Fuck that, did you see what they did to the Trade Center? The assertion that you shouldn't charge interest on a loan? A lot of people profess love for the long gone jewish carpenter, but there's no way he'd ever get elected.

[Double_E]

OW, you're a fuckin' genius.

 

FW, you're a fuckin' ignorant moron.

 

 

and that's about all i have to say on this Jesus sub-thread.

[Fairweather]

Unfortunately, OW doesn't realize that it is Islam that forbids charging interest. I've never heard this about Christianty. As far as turning the other cheek, well, it seems that Bush made the correct, secular decision, and does still.

 

Now, DoubleE, when you're done sucking Off-White's cock, maybe you can do a little research of your own on the matter and stop acting like just another ass-licking liberal parrot.

[scott_harpell]

As far as turning the other cheek, well, it seems that Bush made the correct, secular decision, and does still.

 

Interesting point. It seems that if he acts like a Christian, you blather on with out of context quote about church n' state. If he acts according to secular norms, you call him a hypocrite. I would really like to see how you rationalize this...

[Dru]

Unfortunately, OW doesn't realize that it is Islam that forbids charging interest. I've never heard this about Christianty.

 

Why do you think it was the Jews that did all the banking in the Middle Ages then eh? The quality of American education makes itself apparent again.

[scott_harpell]

 

 

Actually the no intrest thing is true about Christianity too.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

Why do you think it was the Jews that did all the banking in the Middle Ages then eh? The quality of American education makes itself apparent again.

 

All that Canadian education has done is produce a bunch of mind-numbed socialist drones, with delusions of grandeur concerning their own supposed sophistication and erudition.

[Dru]

American education system gets worst return on investment of any industrialized nation.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

American education system gets worst return on investment of any industrialized nation.

 

Some ROI - a socialist shithole, filled with secularist, boring, white-bread fuckheads who think their shit don't stink. You rival the French in your baseless pride.

[scott_harpell]

There is this decuementry im watchin in one of my classes on how the whole 9 11 (sept,11,01) disasters are planned by the american gaverment ..No one has beleived me so far. shit believe it!!! the movie proves it all, im only half way of the movie done and i found out so much,

for example the hole in the pentagon after it got "crashed in to by a 747 " they shows videos photes and a bunch of other shit on how the hole was only 16 feet across at the begining then part of the wall fell down then it was about 65 feet big , but the wing span of a 747 is like 160 feet across and there was no parts of the plane on the ground aND no people were found.they prove it all you have to see it , THEN THEY SHOW HOW THE TWIN TOWERS WERE ALSO PLANNED OUT TO FALL AND EVERYTHING WITH abunch of bombs go off floor by floor as it falls and as the first one falls a building next to it blew up. well i no every one does not believe what im saying so im borowin it from my teacher and bringin it to outaline next week end saturday(not tomorrow but the next week end) meet at outaline at 12 (if mark approves)its the crazyest shit so come down...then go skate after!!!

 

Nuff said bitch?

[Off_White]

The prohibition of usury was adopted as a major campaign by the earliest Christian Church, following on from Jesus' expulsion of the money-lenders from the temple.

The decrees of the Hebrew Bible were revived and a new reference to usury in the New Testament was added. Based on the authority of those texts, the Catholic Church of the 4th century AD banned the clergy from charging interest, a rule that was later extended in the 5th century to the laity.

In the 8th century, under Charlemagne, usury was declared a criminal offense. The anti-usury movement gathered force in the late Middle Ages and reached its peak in 1311 when Pope Clement V totally banned the practice and declared null and void all secular law defending it.

 

source

 

My point Fairweather, is that Jesus was a dangerous revolutionary, and his redefinition of old blood-and-guts kill-all-your-firstborn Yahweh into the present (albeit merely lip serviced) God of Love was both radical and a distinct threat to the powers that be. It's no wonder they killed him.

 

It's disheatening that you salute GW Bush for being a smorgasbord Christian, striking a pose and adopting a few bits for the sake of self promotion, but lacking any appreciation for whole message or commitment to the ideals of the prophet he claims to adore.

[Dru]

American education system gets worst return on investment of any industrialized nation.

 

Some ROI - a socialist shithole, filled with secularist, boring, white-bread fuckheads who think their shit don't stink. You rival the French in your baseless pride.

 

And we know more than you do.

[scott_harpell]

American education system gets worst return on investment of any industrialized nation.

 

Some ROI - a socialist shithole, filled with secularist, boring, white-bread fuckheads who think their shit don't stink. You rival the French in your baseless pride.

 

And we know more than you do.

 

That's right... you know that because

 

There is this decuementry im watchin in one of my classes on how the whole 9 11 (sept,11,01) disasters are planned by the american gaverment

[Dru]

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