Jump to content

I am a climber.


lancegranite

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 37
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Monkeys climb MUCH harder than you do. Johnny Dawes bribed some Indian monkeys in Hampi (banana) to get beta for the local boulder problems, but he didn't have the power to weight ratio to pull like they did.

 

MOST monkeys have opposable thumbs on their feet as well as their hands. If he's one of these....does he wear climbing shoes or go shoeless?

 

Oh...and I climb for drugs, sex, and rock n roll...yeah...thats it. tee hee rockband.gifmoon.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm a gaper.

 

I'm a rope tangling, belay device dropping, 5.8 leading, non-skiing, too-fat-for sport, too-slow-for alpine, non-dry-toolin, cheap gear owning, WI3 sketching fuck-off. I've never lead 5.10 trad. I've never tried 5.11 sport. I've climbed the WA volcanoes by the easiest routes possible. The only leader fall I've taken was 20+ feet… in the gym. I've never bivvied a storm on a big wall. Hell, I've never bivvied a storm. I believe in the light-and-slow approach to climbing. I believe in Wild Turkey on summits and PBR in parking lots. I don't own a crash pad and I could give a shit about V10 bouldering. I don't know any big name climbers, and I don't care to know any. I've flailed trying to toprope Classic Crack, only to watch someone else solo it. I still enjoy hiking the Mt Si trail. I've never been benighted on a route. I have respect for the Mountaineers because they are teaching people to climb. I have respect for REI because they are a business doing what businesses do. I don't talk about what I do because what I do sucks. Regardless of all this, I still have a great time climbing. Next time you see a big-ass bearded son-of-a-bitch sweating like Drew Carey in a South American marathon, laboring up a trail or thrutching up a 5.6, stop and say hi. I'll appreciate it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...