gapertimmy Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 A way to fuck the system..... Two days ago I was invovled in a search for a lost hiker, the story is pretty entertaining, moving, and from it, one can learn some ways to fuck the forest pass system... so read on my friends, be entertained, and learn some new tricks that actually work! The Saga Begins For the sake of the lost person's privacy, we'll call him DAVE. Dave is a physician from Dallas TX, who when he gets stressed out, picks a state from the map of the US he's never been to and buys a plane ticket. This time, he chose or-E-Gone. So he arrived in PDX, where a fine soul told him about this playground called Bend, OR, so Dave got his rental car and was on his way. The next morning, the folks at his hotel told him of the cascade lakes highway, said it was a peaceful place, and Dave liked the sound of it, and chose it as his destination to relax, do some soul searching, and ultimately get lost. So Dave found the mirror lakes TH, and set off bible in hand, with an ice tea, his blue jeans, and a cotton shirt, and cell phone, to do some soul searching. Story goes he hiked in a ways, hit some snow, and decided to hike off trail, found a rock, sat down and read the good book for about an hour. When he was finished ho looked up and realized he had no idea where he was or how to get back to his car. He picks up his phone and dials the front desk at his hotel! Tells the folks there he's lost, they call 911, and enter us SAR dudes. So we get up there, and immediately i notice the lack of a NW Forrest Pass on Dave's car! There is a fancy Dodge Ram Deforest service law enforcment vehicle at the scene, and I was curious as to whether or not Dave would get a ticket! Dave ended up walking out to the road on his own, before we could do a heroic search, but nevertheless he was very thankful for our time. Ironically, Dave had gotten lost on 2 prior occasions in other soul-searching quests, and both prior times, he was once lost but was now found. Anyhow, I thought it was a cool story, better than the last search I was on for some 11 year old rapist (thats a different story), but here is the true moral of the story... loophole revealed Dave drove off into the sunset, no Forest Pass ticket in hand, I was a bit perplexed, probably understood that the fine law enforcemtn folks didn't want to kick the poor man when he was down, but I also learned the following.... If you are using a natural resource for Religous or for Educational purposes, they can't touch ya! Kind of a recurring theme right now, seperation of gov't/religion... if you leave a note on your dashboard saying you are going to worship your rock-god, the forest service can not write you a citation. Same goes for using the resource for educational purposes. My new study is going to look at the affects of gapage, and the subsequent anger that insues on website message boards. so there you have it, a way to 8=D ( /*\ ) the system. my friends, choose a religion, and go worship at the crags and free yourself from the chains of trail fees! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordonb Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 We tried that trick in WA state at Icicle Creek and got a ticket anyway. YMMV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 At last, I now know that I cam celibrate my pegan rights in relitive peace, FOR FREE will they still get mad if i light a bon fire...even if it is for a religious ceremony? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkrueger Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 [ 06-28-2002, 03:46 PM: Message edited by: jkrueger ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 quote: Originally posted by Gordonb: We tried that trick in WA state at Icicle Creek and got a ticket anyway. YMMV. Sue the Tool for debasing your religious experience with a ticket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b-rock Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 Let's talk to the federal courts. One forest past, UNDER GOD, indivisible... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gapertimmy Posted June 27, 2002 Author Share Posted June 27, 2002 Yep, i think this one could stand up in court. No garuntees though, anybody want to be the guinea pig? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 If anyone tries to give me a ticket I'm going to give them the beat down with my horsecock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 Dear god jon... please put that thing away. You could frighten women and children Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 I'd heard of this loophole awhile back, tried it a couple years ago at the Ingalls Pass TH, got a ticket. Argued with the Cle Elum District via phone and letter for about 3 months, finally agreed to send them $5 and we'd be done with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 Tim I tried that last year at the snow creek lot. While all the other cars got a warning the ranger personally waited for us, declared rock climbing to be non-religious, and wrote out a full ticket. Try it on your own risk, but you better be ready with a full load of BS to talk your way out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 that's it. RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW I am declaring a new religion. I am taking requests and sugestions for the manafesto... who's in??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Figger_Eight Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 Would it be legal to have seven wives? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 sure. polligamy is good... more people to share the "work" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 one stipulation... all said members must climb hike camp alpine or at least belay. [ 06-27-2002, 04:56 PM: Message edited by: sk ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhamaker Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 "If you are using a natural resource for Religous or for Educational purposes, they can't touch ya" Sorry, a Fed (Magistrate?) in OR struck this one down. Get your ticket, then take 'em to court. Call, visit, and write your congress people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 party pooper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 quote: Originally posted by sk: sure. polligamy is good... more people to share the "work" Do you call the children of 'polligamy' [sic] polliwogs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 only if they are the "get" of horsecock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 quote: Originally posted by sk: only if they are the "get" of horsecock oh... you mean like Mormonz. weak kidneys and unable to real beer.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 Not exactly what I was getting at. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkrueger Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 [ 06-28-2002, 03:47 PM: Message edited by: jkrueger ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glen Posted June 28, 2002 Share Posted June 28, 2002 Check the universal life church. They've already fought the court battles and it is pretty easy to set up a congregation. The mountains are a spiritual place, with references from many a religion (Moses to the mountain, etc...). Why not set up a congregation, tuesday meetings (read: Pub Club), and religious outings to commune with the spiritual world? If you're registered, it's certainly more credible. I am not a part of any organized religion, but all of my most spiritual moments have certainly been in the mountains. Of course, with Bush (aka, dumb as whaleshit) in office, if it doesn't sound like a one-nation-under-god organization, it might run into trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dennis_Harmon Posted June 28, 2002 Share Posted June 28, 2002 I have a suggestion for the new religion. Let's call it Eartheism. "Praise the earth... she's the only one we've got." Taken from Ed Abbey. Dennis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 28, 2002 Share Posted June 28, 2002 You realize that would mean no drilling for oil in Alaska right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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