Dru Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Find 6 photos THAT ARE NOT YOURS OR OF YOU on this or other websites. Make up a trip report using those 6 photos. I will buy a beer for the winner. Real good winners will get a better beer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomtom Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Too bad. Dwayner would have won this hands down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoboy Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 He doesn't even need to post, I think he has first prize all wrapped up. It's just a matter of 2nd and 3rd now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted February 21, 2004 Author Share Posted February 21, 2004 WTF - Extreemo would win this cause all he does is post faked pictures. Im not ghonna buy a beer for Dwayner anyways cause he is banned hence cannot be an official contest entrant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 Find 6 photos THAT ARE NOT YOURS OR OF YOU on this or other websites. Make up a trip report using those 6 photos. I will buy a beer for the winner. Real good winners will get a better beer. sorry dude. i am too busy this friday night perving out over online porn. fuk i wish i had a life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layton Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 So I get the call.... I'd heard of it, but hadn't really put much thought into climbing it. But I get the call. My sister's always one to get into sticky situations, especially when climbing, but I never expected our climbing trip to turn out like this. My Sister: Anyway, she calls me and starts ranting and raving about Witch Mountain. Apparantly there is a sweet line on the East face that no one has done. Witch mountain Being gullible and stupid, I said yet to her objective. Things went quickly after this. We were on our way to the airport when the first thing to go wrong happened. This crazy old man with an eyepatch picked us up in the cab and when he heard about our objective he started cackling and laughing, "Har har har...you be doomed if ye go. No one escapes from Witch Mountain...no one" I was all up in his face and shit and was like, "look dode. You're scaring my sister," and then he locked the cab doors and pulled back the safety glass so we couldn't get out and drove like a maniac all the way to the airport. Boy were we glad to be on that plane and away from that crazy old cab pirate! It was a long flight to where Witch Mountain is located and a storm began to brew. My sis got really scared and had the worst headache. Then all of a sudden lightning crackled all around the plane! We were hit and we were going down....fast. Out the window and below the clouds all I could see was a sea of mountains. Then the plane hit and I lost consciousness... I was screaming when I came too. My sis was still asleep and I had the weirdest feeling! I was floating and I was hearing load booming voices. I managed to get a hold of myself and looked out the window. I had to suspend my disbelief! The plane was being carried by yellow robed giants! They were singing as they carried the plane into the mountains, "oompa loompa doopidy do, you're gonna have an epic or two" over and over. Then I realized I was stapped to a table inside the airplane! What kind of twisted nightmare had this become? I lost consciousness again... .when I awoke there was no plane, no table, no giants. Just my sister and I alone in the woods. It was day. I screamed and screamed at my sis until she groggily woke up. "uhhhhhggghh...what? what? what happened," she asked. I told her and I saw it in her eyes that she believed me. We decided to follow a cobblestone path that led towards Witch Mountain. We would have turned around, but we'd come this far! After about an hour we came to quite the sight! It was a tea party of animals! To make matters worse, a goat and some other type of animal in the distance were starting up ON OUR ROUTE The stork asked up, "Hello humans! Would you like a bite of our cake. It's a wonderful day for a tea party! Are you going mountain walking? How do you get the ropes up there" My sis was like, "Fucking tourons," and we double timed it to the route. I got the first pitch which was pretty scary ice, and wondered where the animals above us were? Oh well, "On belay!" I shouted to my sister and brought her up the first pitch. On and on the climb went. Brilliant ice led to perfect granite splitters. Sis took the lead on the rock because she's hard core on the trad. That's why I was worried when I heard her scream! She quickly brought me up and I discoved why she screamed and what happened to the animal climbers. I guess they bit off more than they could chew. Anyway we carried on. The climb was great but we were getting tired. Luckily (or so we thought) we found a bivy cave 2/3 the way up Witch Mountain. "Hello!" my Sister shouted into the cave. I thought that was weird cuz who'd be in this cave. I hoped no one cuz that'd take away our first ascent probably. We had to rappel into the cave to find a nice place to sleep. Before we turned on our headlamps it seemed warm and dry. Caves aren't warm and dry? Then we switched them on. This was no cave! It was an alien spaceship! And right there was an alien! So that's what happended to Louie Anderson!!!! We ran and ran and ran trying to find a way out. Then we hit the controll room. We were gonna make it. But then the door opened and the witch appeared! I tried to stop the witch from strangling my sis I dove into the Witch with my ice tools and sent her back to hell! Here's another photo of Sis Sis quicly locked the door and somehow managed to program the spaceship to escape Witch Mountain! We flew the spaceship all the way home, but we first stopped for icecream! Then we told the story to Paw, but he didn't believe us. He just laughed and patted sis on the head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted February 21, 2004 Author Share Posted February 21, 2004 yeah! thats what i'm talkin about but u used more than 6 pictures! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layton Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 I'm sorry. It was just such an exciting experience, I wanted to share the whole roll! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordop Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 (edited) . Edited June 8, 2021 by jordop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave_Schuldt Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 AWSOME!!!!!! BEAT THAT DFA........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 (edited) Find 6 photos THAT ARE NOT YOURS OR OF YOU on this or other websites. Make up a trip report using those 6 photos. I will buy a beer for the winner. Real good winners will get a better beer. sorry dude. i am too busy this friday night perving out over online porn. fuk i wish i had a life. I feel yer pain p.s. MIKEY LAYTON That was one hell of a story Edited February 21, 2004 by Muffy_The_Wanker_Sprayer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stemalot Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 (edited) hey man, you gota hook me up with your sis!!! She's totally out of this world! I'll vote for your story!!! and I'll buy you beer. Edited February 21, 2004 by Stemalot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layton Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 Yeah, she looks a lot older in that pic than in the 1st one. It must be the camera angle or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted February 23, 2004 Author Share Posted February 23, 2004 I went to Squamish this weekend to get some Vsick pad action happening. I wore a down jacket, toque, some Prana shit and said "Yo" alot. And "Dude you can send it". So I was hanging out in the boulders cleaning a bit of moss off a problem when all of a sudden I got the feeling the moss was looking back at me. Suddenly the moss was this big green monster! It was mad at me for scrubbing and was coming to get me. well I started running but in my A5 by the North Face, bouldering flipflops, I couldnt run very fast because I kept stubbing my toe, or the flip flops would slip off my foot. The monster was right behind me when... ZAP This funky looking chick with a gun shot it! She was pretty hot too. I was all like "Wow! You shot that moss monster! Thanks for saving my life! Ya need a spot or something? Does Prana make that see through breastplate? I gotta get me some of that dope shit. Softshells are so 2001". She told me to shut up, that she had a secret project and she needed my help. So I followed her into the darkest room of the Kakodemon Caves where there was a strange rite going on. The spooky sounds of Rush were playing on a turn table and a costumed man looking a lot like Jim Sandford was instructing the celebrants at this unholy black mass how to chip holds into blank rock! I was like "WTF you are all sport climbers and hold chippers! Losers! I'm outta here!" I made for the entrance to the cave but the leader of the rite was all "NO OUTSIDER MAY LEAVE THIS PLACE ALIVE!" All these robed dudes started coming after me with like knives and stuff. I was pretty scared. So I made a jump start and dynoed up onto the roof of the cave which is the problem Big Balls Big Falls. I knew the sporto's wouldnt be able to follow me on this trad highball. Sure enough they were all still projecting the sit-start by the time I pulled the final moves and wriggled out of the cave through a small hole back to the outside world. Well enough of that. I wanted to actually CLIMB not get messed up in Satanism and fashion crimes. So I walked over to "High V0" and cranked a few laps to warm-down from BBBF before my next proj. I was trying to decide if I wanted to go to The Egg or Gibbs Cave for my next send and figured smoking a big bomber would help me make up my mind. well no sooner had I lit up than this guy: walks out of the boulders and asks me if he can "have a quick hit". I was all like "Sure dude, free the weed" and passed him the bomber. he took a massive toke and held it, then asked if I wanted to see his new handsfree sit start method. I was feelin pretty high so I was like "Yeah whatever dude, show me whatcha got". So he sat down at the base of "Zero Zero", crossed his legs, chanted some Buddhist mantras, and then.... just sort of floated up the problem. Whoa! So that's the secret! Well after that display I didn't feel much like climbing. So I figured I'd head back home. I got in my car and was driving home when I saw this weird fast moving jet contrail and the next thing I know.... ...no more home! Well, that's all I can write now. I got my shotgun and my bunker and I figure I'll just sit here and pick off the looters and mutants till I run outta shells. After that, I guess I'll just have to play it by ear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoboy Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 I think dru might be buying hiself a few beers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layton Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 Fuck off snowboy, mine was WAY funnier. I'm pulling your photos from the contest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoboy Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 Stuff it clownpuncher. . . I don't have any photos in your contest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layton Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 Ha! See? See? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 Dru, be sure to save the last shell for yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted November 8, 2004 Author Share Posted November 8, 2004 if there are no more entrants in the next 20 minutes im going to buy myself that beer fix your links layton! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashw_justin Posted November 8, 2004 Share Posted November 8, 2004 Fear? I'll tell you about fear. These fuckin' hippies with their positive attitudes.... I don't even care who the godamned president is. Come take away my right to kill myself and the last thing I see will be your look of surprise. Friends? Yeah, I know some other climbers. Real cool like, and good at what they do. But how are you gonna fly if you can't fall anywhere? Then there's the funseekers. RuMR the infallible freshie-slut, always looking for that chill thrill. Conditions. Conditions are great! That looks really fun. Maybe I'll give it a shot in the eternity. Some guys, you can look in their eyes and see, they just don't give a fuck. That's a connection you only feel on the double-noose, hangin out with good friends... There's a lotta folks out there, feeling comfortable. Darn right feeling good about themselves, man that must be one hell of a life. Me, I go for the life of hell... Fear is waking up underneath a pile of rotting flesh that you're not sure is dead or not. Fear is going to sleep and knowing you're gonna wake up in the same fuckin' place. That's why I do what I do. Because I don't want a fuckin' bed. I want a granite coffin. MFT. That's right, I'm Mark Fucking Twight. Bitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corvallisclimb Posted November 8, 2004 Share Posted November 8, 2004 my trip report begins long before my trip began but anyways so like one random night i was hanging with my girls like usual my friend (pictured below) and climbing partner Tito also quite the ladies man him self called me up on my cellphone to see if i wanted to go on an expedition to the great trango towers with him to put a new route up i was stoaked, we where going to be sponsored by his parents sushi shop in eugene, and would be leaving to pakistan the very next week. i spent the next week getting ready for the trip every day and night i trained, and really pushed my limits we really wanted to do a bad ass route on this trip, neither of us had done any aid climbing and very little trad climbing. but we each had bought a set off hexes and some quick draws and a portaledge, so we felt like we where well equiped and ready to climb up to 5.11 A5.... so we arrived in pakistan holding friends with the locals we where excited to get in there so we organized the expedition and began the trek into base camp. we didnt have a clue what we where doing so we had no idea if we would be targets of terroisim or not. so on the second night of the trek we hung our portaledge in a tree and settled down for the night. i awoke to having out portaledge shot to the ground the 5 foot fall to the ground knocked the wind out of me and left me in a tangled mess, i soon realized we where in the hands of terrorists the next seven days where horrible, we awoke everynight to our captives jerking off like weirdos, god i hate those bastards. anyhow once p.diddy, g.bush and the rest of the pakistani army found out we where to be rescued the rescue tured into a bloodbath wich resulted in many casulties, but from then on we made it with out to much trouble back to oregon. my girls welcomed me back, and so ended my trip so that concludes my trip report. after returnin we where offerd to have a movie made about us but we declined because where considerd our selves to be to bad ass, and didnt want to sell out! now that i think about it that could be one of the worst descisions i have ever made. BIG WALLERS FOR BUSH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted November 8, 2004 Author Share Posted November 8, 2004 It's too late I drank the beer prize Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin_Matlock Posted November 8, 2004 Share Posted November 8, 2004 dood, you got a sweet "trad RACK"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corvallisclimb Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 dood, you got a sweet "trad RACK"! thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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