Ursa_Eagle Posted April 3, 2003 Posted April 3, 2003 Top 11 Signs SUV is too damn big The Edge (Living Section, Oregonian) Thursday, April 3, 2003 Â 1. The fuel gauge doubles as a fan. 2. It has it's own congressman. 3. Those aren't bugs on the windshield, Chester. 4. When you floor it, the Earth slows down a tad. 5. It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro into its orbit. 6. You have a "War and Peace" bumper sticker - the entire novel. 7. Every time you fill up, Saddam Hussein goes, "Ka-CHING!" 8. It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down into an entire field, complete with goals. 9. You're spending too much time prying Honda Civics out of your tire treads. 10. Backing out of the driveway requires canal locks, four tugboats, a team of engineers and clearance from the FAA. 11. When you pull up to the pharmacy window, they already have your extra-small condoms bagged and ready to go. Â And from the "Actual signs seen at a recent DC peace rally": "Start drafting SUV drivers now" Â Quote
JGowans Posted April 3, 2003 Posted April 3, 2003 Ursa_Eagle said: Top 11 Signs SUV is too damn big The Edge (Living Section, Oregonian) Thursday, April 3, 2003 ... Â And from the "Actual signs seen at a recent DC peace rally": "Start drafting SUV drivers now" Â Holy shit. That really was just about the wittiest thing I've seen in such a long time. Clearly you live on the edge. Your choice of literature surely confirms it. Quote
Sphinx Posted April 3, 2003 Posted April 3, 2003 I award this the prestigious "most entertaining moronic thread ever". You're welcome. Quote
Ursa_Eagle Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 JGowans said:Â Holy shit. That really was just about the wittiest thing I've seen in such a long time. Clearly you live on the edge. Your choice of literature surely confirms it. Â Actually, the Oregonian took that one from the Washington Post. Clearly a 5-year-olds standard reading material... Quote
JGowans Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 Actually, the Oregonian took that one from the Washington Post. Clearly a 5-year-olds standard reading material... Â How long shall we keep this going? I can probably summon up the energy to write some barb about numerous power figures with 5-year old minds dominating Washington that would suggest a reason for the Post's shitty wit and oh so trite humor but what would be the point? I think that once done there, I may just be able to quickly munch some gu and force myself to continue by writing about how I think you whining about SUVs driven by men with small peckers leads me to believe that you haven't had some in a while or you have but just aren't satisfied. However, I won't do any of the above. I think I'm bored of you now. Thank you. Drive thru. Quote
allthumbs Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 Hell, most of the time I drive my Imprezza and I haven't had any complaints from my Hooter honeys about the size of my schlong. Quote
erik Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 trask said: Hell, most of the time I drive my Imprezza and I haven't had any complaints from my Hooter honeys about the size of my schlong. Â IN A PLASTIC WORLD..... Quote
allison Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 Yes, this is the stupidest thread of all time. Â I know somewhere in there I mentioned my BF's Highlander gets better gas mileage than my s00bie, but did I mention it burns cleaner too? Â Having said that, what on earth is up with those gigantic SUVs? Even some of the normal sized ones are bunk, my mom's Exploder has roughly the same ground clearance as a Miata. Quote
RobBob Posted April 4, 2003 Author Posted April 4, 2003 my mom's Exploder has roughly the same ground clearance as a Miata. ...and your boyfriend's Highlander has a liftkit? Â I thought this was a great thread. Â It's looking like an Exploder might be the ticket, with that $3,000 incentive pkg. Just have to get the offroad model w/ lger wheels, skidplates, etc. Quote
erik Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 ROBOBO Â ONE THING TO CONSIDER WITH ANY FOMOCO PRODUCT IS THAT HORRILE ENGINE HSOTRY THAT PLAGUES THESE BEASTS. THEY ARE INFERIOR TO THE VORTEC ENGINES THAT CHEVY MAKES. EMISSIONS IS HIGHER AND FUEL ENCONOMY IS LOWER. Â GO WITH GM AND NOT FORD. Â Â Quote
allthumbs Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 erik said: ROBOBO Â ONE THING TO CONSIDER WITH ANY FOMOCO PRODUCT IS THAT HORRILE ENGINE HSOTRY THAT PLAGUES THESE BEASTS. THEY ARE INFERIOR TO THE VORTEC ENGINES THAT CHEVY MAKES. EMISSIONS IS HIGHER AND FUEL ENCONOMY IS LOWER. Â GO WITH GM AND NOT FORD. Â have to agree with numbnuts here Rob. ford motors suck Quote
j_b Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 Ursa_Eagle said: Top 11 Signs SUV is too damn big The Edge (Living Section, Oregonian) Thursday, April 3, 2003 Â 1. The fuel gauge doubles as a fan. 2. It has it's own congressman. 3. Those aren't bugs on the windshield, Chester. 4. When you floor it, the Earth slows down a tad. 5. It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro into its orbit. 6. You have a "War and Peace" bumper sticker - the entire novel. 7. Every time you fill up, Saddam Hussein goes, "Ka-CHING!" 8. It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down into an entire field, complete with goals. 9. You're spending too much time prying Honda Civics out of your tire treads. 10. Backing out of the driveway requires canal locks, four tugboats, a team of engineers and clearance from the FAA. 11. When you pull up to the pharmacy window, they already have your extra-small condoms bagged and ready to go. Â And from the "Actual signs seen at a recent DC peace rally": "Start drafting SUV drivers now" Â hilarious and clever too! I really like #4 & 5. Quote
Bronco Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 these guys have no idea what they are talking about, I'd bet they're both drunk already. I've been driving & maintaining mainly fords for 15 years now, '66 mustang, '67 bronco, '72 bronco '80 f-250, '85 bronco II, '87 ranger, '90 probe, 91 f-250, '92 explorer '95 ranger, '97 f-250 and a 2000 F-350 crew cab. Only the 67 bronco had problems with the engine exploding and that was because I "adjusted" the rocker arms a little too tight and shot an old mechanical lifter through the side of the block. I don't think the ford engines are any worse than the GM's and the main difference is the fords tend to perform more like a truck and the GM's are a little more like a heavy duty car, but won't hold up quite as good to off roading, towing and actual SUV type use. Â Â Quote
minx Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 i'll probably get laughed off the board for this but: Â i love my jeep wrangler. it has been totally reliable and now has well over 100K on it. It gets reasonable gas mileage for an SUV. Gets me up my road when the neighbors Subies, explores, pathfinders, forerunners etc are parked at the bottom (oddly the guy w/the Jetta always seems to make it) Â In terms of taking a bunch of people AND gear...it's not going to happen. I use my other car for outings w/more people. Â Besides, it's great to just take a hose to the interior after a long trip! Quote
erik Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 BRONCO Â WRONG MY FRIEND Â AND WHY SOO MANY FORDS DID THEY ALL DIE?? Â THE NEW VORTEC BY CHEVROLET OWNS ANYTHING FOMOCO CAN WISH TO PUT OUT. Â PLUS WITH NO MAJOR TUNE UP TILL 100K.....BIG SAVINGS!!!! Â GM ROCKS FORD DOME!! AND WITHOUT EVEN TRYING!! Â Quote
AlpineK Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 erik said: ROBOBO Â ONE THING TO CONSIDER WITH ANY FOMOCO PRODUCT IS THAT HORRILE ENGINE HSOTRY THAT PLAGUES THESE BEASTS. THEY ARE INFERIOR TO THE VORTEC ENGINES THAT CHEVY MAKES. EMISSIONS IS HIGHER AND FUEL ENCONOMY IS LOWER. Â GO WITH GM AND NOT FORD. Â Â I too agree with Erik. I've driven a bunch of Ford Trucks over the years and I hate em. Quote
Bronco Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 AlpineK said: erik said: ROBOBO Â ONE THING TO CONSIDER WITH ANY FOMOCO PRODUCT IS THAT HORRILE ENGINE HSOTRY THAT PLAGUES THESE BEASTS. THEY ARE INFERIOR TO THE VORTEC ENGINES THAT CHEVY MAKES. EMISSIONS IS HIGHER AND FUEL ENCONOMY IS LOWER. Â GO WITH GM AND NOT FORD. Â Â I too agree with Erik. I've driven a bunch of Ford Trucks over the years and I hate em. Â Maybe you should quit running crisco or whatever that organic stuff is in them. It's kinda like taking a lumberjack out to eat after work but at a vegetarian restaruant. TOFU? I treat my trucks nice and they are nice to me. Â I just hope you guys are ashamed of yourselves and go to confession right away. 10 hell marys each of you! Quote
Attitude Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 erik said: Attitude said: attitude  He spelled it right! I'm honored. Quote
Bronco Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 erik said: BRONCO Â WRONG MY FRIEND Â AND WHY SOO MANY FORDS DID THEY ALL DIE?? Â THE NEW VORTEC BY CHEVROLET OWNS ANYTHING FOMOCO CAN WISH TO PUT OUT. Â PLUS WITH NO MAJOR TUNE UP TILL 100K.....BIG SAVINGS!!!! Â GM ROCKS FORD DOME!! AND WITHOUT EVEN TRYING!! Â Â I think the 100k tune up has been pretty standard for a number of years, (or was it 60K) anyway, the voreteck is probably the best engine GM ever put out, but it's still lacking. Â Anyway, the reason I went through so many rigs was in my youth, I had more time than money and bought most of those rigs cheap, fixed them up over a year or two while I drove them and sold them or traded up. The '97 was the first new vehicle I ever bought. Still driving it. I also had a really old VW bug that kicked ass off road, it was unbelieveable until I accidentally crushed it with a friends big ole ford. It musta been jealous. Quote
AlpineK Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 Bronco said: AlpineK said: erik said: ROBOBO Â ONE THING TO CONSIDER WITH ANY FOMOCO PRODUCT IS THAT HORRILE ENGINE HSOTRY THAT PLAGUES THESE BEASTS. THEY ARE INFERIOR TO THE VORTEC ENGINES THAT CHEVY MAKES. EMISSIONS IS HIGHER AND FUEL ENCONOMY IS LOWER. Â GO WITH GM AND NOT FORD. Â Â I too agree with Erik. I've driven a bunch of Ford Trucks over the years and I hate em. Â Maybe you should quit running crisco or whatever that organic stuff is in them. It's kinda like taking a lumberjack out to eat after work but at a vegetarian restaruant. TOFU? I treat my trucks nice and they are nice to me. Â I just hope you guys are ashamed of yourselves and go to confession right away. 10 hell marys each of you! Â The vegy stuff goes in my new Isuzu FRR that rocks. Â The only Fords I've driven were owned by previous employers. They sucked. Quote
adventuregal Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 AlpineK said: erik said: ROBOBO Â ONE THING TO CONSIDER WITH ANY FOMOCO PRODUCT IS THAT HORRILE ENGINE HSOTRY THAT PLAGUES THESE BEASTS. THEY ARE INFERIOR TO THE VORTEC ENGINES THAT CHEVY MAKES. EMISSIONS IS HIGHER AND FUEL ENCONOMY IS LOWER. Â GO WITH GM AND NOT FORD. Â Â I too agree with Erik. I've driven a bunch of Ford Trucks over the years and I hate em. Â My old rusty ford ranger has treated me well!!!! Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.