tvashtarkatena

Gyms also have excellent climbing programs for kids, something that didn't exist in the pre-gym era.

Which is the recommended method of belaying Ivan as well when he's leading at his limit Blake. I found that clipping an engine block to my harness helps when belaying Ivan, although it's a little less dynamic.

The following metals are flammable: Lithium (Li), Sodium (Na), Potassium (K), Rubidium (Rb), Cesium (Cs), Magnesium (Mg) Come on people, I was stoned during high school chemistry too, but at least I woke up for the exams.

This self parody comes complete with batteries...no assembly required.

with a geriatric cameo from Yeoman Rand....

A 2 person Tarptent Squall, pitched with a ski pole, complete with vestibule and bug netting, weighs 2 lbs total.

Nothing.

You can greatly increase the rap friction for a thinner (or single) rope by rigging a runner (or two) from your harness to the rap device instead of rapping right off your harness. This narrows the combined angles at which the rope passes through your device to your breaking hand, increasing friction accordingly. In balmy weather, this eliminates the need to carry rap gloves, and increases your control when rapping in icy conditions.

You know, not all rock and rollers take drugs... Pat Boone Plays The Island Resort and Casino

As a [font:Impact]CLIMBER[/font], I've put my life on the line at wilderness death zones like Smith, Vantage, and Mt. Erie countless times. I do it all: trad (WHERE'S MY GODDAMN RED CAMALOT?!), R rated bolt routes (WATCH ME HERE!), even...even multi-pitch (JESUS, I LEFT MY MOCA GU IN THE CAR!!!!!) Risk is my middle name...just ask me! In fact, every time I get within 10 feet of a rope I'm a hazard not only to myself, but to everyone around me.

Talkin' 'bout da MILF weed....

Dying from falling into a bottomless crevasse TAOD factor: High. Dying from falling into a bottomless crevasse filled with garbage: Not so high.

My plans for next winter are to snowmobile out to my chosen ice climb with my skis and snowshoes strapped to my back. Oh, and I'll have whiskey. Then, I will die a spectacular death. No horse involved. Remember, don't take any water.

Dying of thirst on a survival course in front of a bunch of other people: Fault factor (yours/theirs) OFF THE CHARTS Uniqueness of method factor. HIGH Spectacularity factor. LOW Embarrassment (Darwin) factor. EXTREME Newsworthiness factor. HIGH Sympathy factor. NONEXISTENT 'Overstayed welcome' factor. Unknown Numbers (just you? others, too?) factor. HIGH Coolness of contributing factors factor. (Ex: Trailer propane tank or solid rocket booster explosion?) LOW Location, location, location factor. MEDIUM

TAOD Snowmobile Avy death scoring: Fault factor (yours/theirs) YOURS Uniqueness of method factor. LOW Spectacularity factor. MEDIUM Embarrassment factor. HIGH Newsworthiness factor. MEDIUM Sympathy factor. LOW 'Overstayed welcome' factor. HIGH (from a skiers standpoint) Numbers (just you? others, too?) factor. MEDIUM Coolness of contributing factors factor. (Ex: Trailer propane tank or solid rocket booster explosion?) MEDIUM Location, location, location factor. MEDIUM Not a great score on this one.

Well, had people been killed in this accident, lets find out using the (Tvashtar Awesomeness Of Death)TAOD Scale Fault factor (yours/theirs) THEIRS Uniqueness of method factor. HIGH Spectacularity factor. HIGH Embarrassment factor. LOW Newsworthiness factor. HIGH Sympathy factor. MEDIUM 'Overstayed welcome' factor. N/A Numbers (just you? others, too?) factor. MEDIUM Coolness of contributing factors factor. (Ex: Trailer propane tank or solid rocket booster explosion?) HIGH Location, location, location factor. LOW This would score pretty high on the scale, I'd say.

The Dying Cool scale could be measured with the following criteria. Weighting TBD. Fault factor (yours/theirs) Uniqueness of method factor. Spectacularity factor. Embarrassment factor. Newsworthiness factor. Sympathy factor. 'Overstayed welcome' factor. Numbers (just you? others, too?) factor. Coolness of contributing factors factor. (Ex: Trailer propane tank or solid rocket booster explosion?) Location, location, location factor.

Not to mention dying inflagrante with a horse.

The only way to die with more press coverage than in an exploding spaceship is to be an assassinated president...but in the latter case a majority of folks might actually celebrate your passing. That puts space accident at the top of the heap.

What I object to is that the people in the mountains are getting better and better relative to me. That makes me look bad. Plus, I have to climb harder and harder shit to try to keep up. Why don't you assholes all just stick to the gym and leave me to my 1980's agenda?

is it bad that i think it's funny that people who climb exclusively in the gym call them selves climbers? ...or people that exclusively crag call themselves climbers? Climbing means playing your own game, whatever that is, not someone else's. You define it. Car ca car pooling....

Waking up with a leech attached to my eye really annoys me.

I like to think that I was born a dumb pussy due to an accident of nature, but worked hard, damn hard, to become an asshole for the specific reason of no longer being viewed as just another dumb pussy. One thing I never forget to bring to an emergency situation is the capability of CAPITALIZING the most poignant points of my posts. Finally, I'd like to POINT OUT that dying in the mountains is WAY COOLER than dying from, say, prostate cancer or a disease of the anus. Much as we'd like to pretend otherwise, there is a hierarchy of cool ways to buy the farm, with spaceship malfunction being pretty near the top, and a dog eating your face off while you're passed out from too much malt liquor after a meth binge being somewhere near the bottom. Some finer points: Motorcycle accident > car accident. Brain tumor > colon cancer. Lion attack > pitbull attack. Hit by train > hit by bus. Shot by a jealous lover > shot by your spouse. Don't ask me why this is, it just is.

Uhm...it wasn't in the throwable phase, if you get my drift. Brit's lost a ton a of weight, BTW. YOu could almost mistake her for mobile home rather than trailer trash.

You need to pay more attention to weather forecasts, amigo.