Now, cj, you know you've taken some of what's written here quite seriously.
Remember how happy you were when I told you that you have the whitest teeth I've come across?
"yeah, uh, Ossiffer, uh... I wuz dryfing the szpeed limit in my wive'z Vulva, I mean Vulvo, and a bunch of szpeederz forzed me offtaroad! Yeah! Thazzwut happennnned.
Right. Make her sit over the back wheels of your Ford Ranger next time it snows.
But, wouldn't it actually decrease traction if I made her shit all over the back wheels? Maybe if it were cold enough and the shit solidified to form heavy lugs...
...and she had eaten corn.