(AP) Cascade mountains
Several local climbers have reported oversized snafflehounds acting agressively, with at least one climber having his 'third tool' bitten. Some are blaming wolverines for this rash of weasel attacks.
A local gumby, who we'll call 'olyclimber' for sake of anonymity had this to say. "Golly, that them there snaffle, they just go snark snark snark, he jumped up and we was wrestlin' and that ding dang furry butt and then my yoda was torn in half, sumbitch!"