An elderly couple had been fighting and finally agree to go to a marriage councellor.
The wife speaks first, "my husband, Ralph, has three habits that have been the bane of my existence. First of all, he never washes. Then he's always picking his nose, and finally when we have sex, he never let's me be on top."
The councellor asks Ralph why he does these things when he knows it irritates his wife.
Ralphs says, "You see, it's my father's fault. He was always telling me, 'Son, don't get in hot water, keep your nose clean, and don't fuck up'."