billcoe

We've been spotted and are being pulled in by kevbones tractor beam.

Turn it off, man! Turn it off! It's sucking my will to live!

How the hell did I get sucked into this?

hey, I've got 2000 +! In 30 years I'll get close to Dru. Assuming he stops now and doesn't race Kev and Pink.

You'd be shocked if you really knew Muff. Proving only that climbing skill and internet skill often do not cross. Look at Dru for the reverse for instance.

Body found: I'd been hoping that Charlie had gotten drunk, smacked a Red Guard and they'd just locked them both up for a bit. Chinese having little humor on such matters, and not being able to spell "Habeous Corpus". Wish is was the case....

Ya get what you pay for on the internet Andrew.

This will fix it: Grip Rail For Cricket Gait Trainer This is an accessory for the Cricket Gait Trainer Only. Cricket Gait Trainer is sold separately.

Thanks Skyclimb, liked your TR on Zion too BTW. Hound: thanks but I'll have to pass, you know I've been together with my woman for 27 years as of next month. It keeps getting better and she's an amazing woman. I can look at those smokin hot kittens in the bars, but they got nothing to lure me away. Sorry dude, it's not all about looks, in fact, the reverse is true, but we usually don't or won't find that out for years - you will too my friend. Also: here's another link to a TR on Epi. They make it sound a lot harder with glass smoth walls and all. Probably depends on the day I suppose. Another Epinephrine trip report here Great pic of the Elephants Trunk there! Mike give's the good beta right there. Certainly if you want to get up it in 8 hours like Powderhound, better use it. Our pitches were pretty much defined by the guys in front of us, and only once did I wait and pass up their belay (the signature pic below is me chatting with Karsten while waiting for Jerameha to finish the lead and for him to clear that pitch, then I clipped and went up) to link the next pitch so as to make any potential fall off that belay (cause it was the 2 - 5.9 chimney pitches) better for Ujahn. The Brock book gives you beta on linking pitches, but Mike's certainly seems better and more consise.

Yeah, sweet description Cobra: I saw that too... so ...... 80's...Perhaps he was again simply trying to show the Hookers that he was a success .....or perhaps just trying for style points in case a Climbing Magazine editor showed up to document the climb. Still, you dudes get 5 gold stars for getting on it. Michael, Jamie did Inti Wantana and highly recommended it to me. Sounds like solid 5 stars and you can climb until your ass falls off or bail before the full Resolution arete topoput (where it joins it after 12 pitches) as the rock up high turns crappy. Sounds 5 stars to me an if he's recommending it to me, should be well within your abilities. We only had 6 days this trip and passed on doing it, but will do it next extended trip down.

Congrats Harry: I bought my brother one of the Suunto watch's this Christmas in hopes that it can be borrowed. It has the Altimeter, Barometer, pulse monitor, some other stuff for trainig intervals, stopwatch etc. I bought my boy another brand that has a compass and a thermometer along with the altimeter (no pulse monitor). Maybe I'll borrow his. Kid tore me up today on the slopes. Pwned.

Another great TR, hot damn we're on a roll here: thanks Skyclimb!

I need an interpreter! Long route: it's this kind of thing that keeps me coming back to this site. Love it, it all looks good....love the pictures: you guys think it was good rock? Choada boy is talking death chalk rock. Mike mentions some shisse rock and offwidths, but Jason is talking it up. I curious how many stars would you give it out of 5? Would you ever do the route again? If so, would you bivy in the same spot next time or try a day trip?

Hint hint!

Pink wisely changed his post! I was having some fun there:-) Nice catch Pink!

_______________________________________________________________ You might not realize that the picture of church lady, who was a cross-dressing transvestive: is the picture which you choose to post with that line "i've had girlfriends like this. no tongue in front of mom was my only rule." Of course, maybe I understand your line better now. Never mind, *cough-gag* carry-on Pink, sorry and all that, gotta go.... *Cough gag, *cough-gag* *Jesus fuching H Christ* Not *cough* that theres anything wrong with it: * gag-choke. * NOT Whatever works for ya. 8D

Better than Santa Steven: I think you NAILED that post. Merry Festivus dude.

Trip: Red Rocks - Epinephrine Date: 11/23/2006 Trip Report: I don't see where anyone has posted a TR to Epinephrine. This is most likely a testament to my piss-poor searching skills, because I know a bunch of you have done it. Epinephrine TR Twas the day before Thanksgiving (2006). Las Vegas was better than the best place to be in the US that particular day. For a climber and a gambler, it was THE place to be. 70-degree days, with nights of free cocktails and easy money at the blackjack table. Wildlife abounds and I'm not talking about the Hookers on the strip. Not a picture of a girlfriend below, but the old girl did stick her snout right in my car uninvited: Desert Bighorn in Oak Creek Canyon. It was also the day Ujahn chose to fire Epinephrine. Ujahn above on P 3 belay. As a pup, I’d never worried about sleep much, once going 3 days without any before an important drill which involved actual nuclear warheads and 12 lb shape charges of high explosives which was pulled on us to explore if we could setup an explosive pattern to level the ordinance in the amount of time before the Soviets could bridge the Fulda gap and kill us all. But this was different, and more important as well, and at 52 years old, I couldn’t hardly remember what being a pup was like anymore: so I forgo the gambling and cocktails and choose blissful sleep at 8pm that night instead. Bill looking rested at P3 above. Wakeup at 4:30am comes early, and as it is close to pitch dark at 5pm on Nov 23rd, with the sunset at 4:30pm, days are real short and the nights cold. Joseph had suggested that a full day was needed to be available to be fully utilized if you wish to avoid sleeping on rocks or to avoid a horrendous descent in the dark after climbing the route. As Joseph is a year older a significantly smarter than I and had done the route earlier, I took the suggestion to heart, and we find ourselves in a cold car in the dark driving to Red Rocks a long time before the regular morning commuters even slag their first cup of Joe. Turning off Blue Diamond by the gas station, I spy an obvious competitor to the route. An evil Subaru station wagon with 2 rocket boxes on top. We blast by yet get stuck behind a large freight truck, which creeps slowly down the road. At the turn off to the dirt road, the Subaru is by now clearly and obviously on my ass. I crank right onto the turnoff, quickly hit dirt and get followed like cops on OJ by the Subaru. I miss our gravel road to the right and a hard full-circle left on the turn-around follows with the Subaru still discernable in my dust, then out of the loop and racing onto the rocky road the Subaru is 10’ behind my convertible rental car: he remains that way for the next 3 miles of rock, gravel and dirt as I refuse to slow down as the car slams down hard on the occasional small boulder which did not have the good sense to roll off the road during the last flash flood. My thoughts remain on the oil pan as my white knuckles clench the wheel. If you trash a rental car off roading, they say your insurance will not pay for it. When they let me upgrade for free to a convertable, I specifiaclly looked at the ground clearance and picked the Lebaron over the Volkswagon as it looked to sit higher. We get to the end of the road and as we hop out, the Subaru quickly pulls up and do the same with dudes jumping out. “Hi there”, dude asks, “Which route are you doing today?” “Epi”, I reply, “same as you I’d bet!” “Uhhhh, yup, same route”. “Are you very fast”, I ask. “Uhhh, yes, fairly so” came the reply. “Bout what we are too, sort of,” which may have to pass for wit at 6 in the morning. We hop out, grab gear and start the 1 hour near dark death march to the base, ahead of, yet rushing and worried about being behind a slow party for the full day of 12-19 pitches of the technical climbing which lay ahead. The plan had been for Ujahn to clip the 4 bolts on the 5.8 first pitch, and to combine and continue up the second pitch of 5.7. Arriving at the start: I say “my lead”, grab the rope and jump on the 5.5X variation and run to the obvious ledge trailing the rope. I’d planned to hit the next pitch running it together, but in the early morning gloom and not being awake, I don’t want to commit and waste time exploring with a party of 2 soon to be behind us, so I slam a cam, and bring Ujahn up with a sitting belay stat. Upon arriving, Ujahn notes that the party of 2 had arrived at the base as he was leaving. He grabs the rack and starts up what he believes is the route, and after turning a corner says, “ahh, I’m on route, there’s the bolt up there”. 10 seconds later dude one arrives to share the belay area. 30 seconds later dude 2 arrives. Damn they’re fast. A quick interrogation of dude one leads me to believe that he can outclimb me with either 1 of his hands, as they are both AMGA guides. Furthermore, Dude 1, who introduces himself as Karsten, has been on an extended road trip and climbing solid shit for the last 30 days. He’d done the 5.10D variation to Cat in the Hat the previous day he says. Not only that, but also both dudes look buff and young, something of which I am neither. I almost can’t remember what it was like when I was that age: 26 and 27 years old, light as a broom and yet as strong as an ox. I mostly just type and work in an office for a living. I get out occasionally on the rocks, but nowhere near 30 days in a row (dreaming dreaming dreaming ahhhhh). Being in shape is a concern for a route this big for me. I’d been thinking about it long before we got to this point. Ujahn is just getting to the belay on p2. I tell Karsten, go first, ahead of us, I don’t want to hold you up. He says, oh, it’s OK, but I insist. I don’t want to spend all day with 2 fit pups riding my ass. I want enjoyment and solitude. I climb to get flow, for the companionship, for the challenge and athleticism too: but many of those things would be disturbed if I were the rod in the cog for these guys. The road kill stinkin up the road so to speak: so after I insist, Karsten and his partner Jeremiah, head up. I yell up to Ujahn what I had decided for both of us. An eerie silence ensues from up high. Within a pitch – 2 things become apparent. 1st) These guys will not outclimb us unless we fade late in the day due to my age and office-working slacker-ass. Ujahn is strongly flowing up, and as a 33-year-old contractor, he’s pretty damn strong and in shape. Couple of my old friends had found themselves in Yos on Central Pillar in springtime with Ujahn once, and they had given him the hardest pitch as it was wet and slimy and they wanted to see how he’d do: and stay dry while doing it I suspect. So he’s not fazed in the least by a chimney here or there, even if it is wet, or even if it does run for 600-800 feet or whatever this one runs for. Germanic determination is propelling him up. From my viewpoint, I’m old and a bit out of shape, but have been in places like this enough times that it doesn’t sweat me much. So at every pitch, we slag off a bit before the leader fires to give the guys in front some extra time and not crowd them, but we catch at least one and sometimes both of them on each belay for the rest of the route. It may be costing us @ 5min-20 min each pitch, but these guys are great guys: very solid technically and just fun to be with. Once I get over my stupidity, embarrassment and arrogance to have spoken for Ujahn to insist they go first, I feel pretty good as it’s clear that they move well, and we will all be off before dark anyway. Mostly I feel a lot better because Ujahn seems fine with it and doesn’t seem pissed or holding a grudge over my incorrect bonehead move. Ya just have to love a guy who's so even tempered not to call you a jackass when it's soooo called for. Not only that, Ujahn will consistantly grab more weight than me on the long climbs cause he knows I'm such a wuss. The rope and the rack last time we did Snake Dike for instance, then lead with the pack on in Monkey on the 3rd pitch last month too). Ya gotta love it. The climbing is very good, challenging and run out enough to keep your mind in the game. The company is great. The weather awesome, can’t even wrap my mind around the 39-degree rain back home in the NW now. The first slight trick is jumping out of the chimney on P2 and traversing onto the face. Just look to the right as you are heading up the chimney and don’t miss the turn off. Above, Ujahn, Karsten and I share P2 belay and relax while Jeremiah leads. The chimney pitches go well, they are run out a bit and not too bad mostly, but all of us – even the pups in front, are breathing hard and sucking O’s as we finish pitches. Here's Ujahn starting up behind Karsten on P3. My pitch next, a rare fist jam in a 5.9 chimney. Karsten is above me, we sort of figure out that they need room so we slow down and find ways to dick off a bit. The shallow confines of the chimneys amplifies swear words and out of breath breathing by all of us. Jeremiah (dude 2) chooses to belay after the 80’ 6th pitch (Joanne Urioste guide) rather than run that one and the next into one. Probably to catch his breath and for gear conservation I suspect. My lead, so Ujahn and I relax and I wait until the top party 2nd is on belay and well clear of the stance before starting to head up as I want to run them together so that Ujahn doesn’t have a big fall factor potential on the start of next pitch. I clip one of the 2-belay bolts as I climb by, my hard, fast breathing and out of shape noises amplified by the narrow canyon and chimney just as the leader of the last groups had been. One great pre-climb move Ujahn had done was to have the bookies in our hotel blow up a copy of the Supertopo on the bookie copier, which they gladly did given how generous we had been with our money. On the stances, when Jeremiah, the then current leader of the top group would yell down, “How much further”?, Karsten would not even whip out his tiny indecipherable copy, our full-page copy proved invaluable and got used by all of us and directions would be yelled up. Pitches flowed one into the other. Most memorable for Ujahn might have been about P6, where he tried to turn around in the chimney only to have the shoes clipped to his harness make that simple movement a struggle. Mine was being turned the wrong way or maybe having the crap clipped to me get stuck in the chimney a bit later, seemed like very, very hard spot to me –not even close to 5.9 at all - which I usually cruise, so I plugged in a yellow alien in the back (fortunte spot!) and just French Freed the move as I pulled on it to squirm and make that hard 2’ passage until a firm handhold appeared and I started free climbing again. Note to self: lose some more weight; it shouldn’t be a squeeze chimney anyway. The second less obvious turn is at the top of the chimney, head up and right. You'll see this obvious feature called the Elephants Trunk as you gaze up and right. That’s what it looks like and the route heads right over the top of it then straight up from there. Expect some runout here, but it’s easy climbing. The most worrisome moment came when Karsten, who’d been climbing so well, seconds after that shot above was snapped, started loudly and urgently screaming “TAKEROPETAKEROPETAKEROPE” to Jeremiah in the twelfth pitch above the Elephants Trunk. His right knee had strangely just tweaked and given way on him as he was (thankfully) following, he fell off clutching his knee and took a good long hang while complaining of the pain. I was mentally prepared to give up the route, join forces as a party of 4 and with our 2 combined ropes rap to the ground and help them to the car. Fortunately, at the top of that pitch when we caught up with them, we were really fuc*king relieved that he had regrouped and was able to get back to some semblance of normalcy. I said to him that together we have 2 ropes and we could get him to the ground if needed. He looks me dead in the eyes, says he can continue, but that he’d rather prussic up if he needed to, but he thinks he’ll be fine. In my mind, although the book says you can rap with 2 60-meter ropes from up there, do not plan on that being a fun thing. Better to head for the top, and rap only if you must. I suspect that prussicing would have sucked worse than rapping. It would have just sucked donkey balls either way. Later, we asked if we could help carry ropes or gear for them on the decent but they were both OK. In fact after a rest day, we (unplanned) stumbled over them and followed them up Y2K over by Dark Shadows. The knee was fine. The climbing from the top of the chimneys may be some of the best pitches of the grade down there. Damn they’re fun. Like amazingly fun. Theres some very intersesting technical nutting in the desert patina to be found that I found real joyous. Ujahn found a couple of threads here or there for full length runners behind Huecos and holes too which he was jumping for joy over and laughing as he say me get to them and pull them out when I was following. Good fun. Here I'm leading p13, 5 bolts in 80 feet, 5.9. Hmmmm, if you count the pieces there are more than 5, and some look suspiciously like cams plugged into Huecos, and the end of the pitch isn't in sight yet -... so I'm a pussy. Nothing new there. Course maybe I identified the wrong pitch too. Here's what P15, a schweet 5.9 looks like from Ujahns viewpoint since he was the one taking the pictures. Maybe a runout here or there, but good holds and straightforward desert patina with cracks most of the way. As you start to finish the technical climbing, there are shit loads of loose big blocks. Although easy, there is testament to people pulling these blocks off at the base (there is no light sandstone down low like the stuff up here, you can see impact areas at the base) so be careful as you angle right and up near the finish. Our early concern was on the gear we carried. Karston and Jeremiah had some buddies who had just done it 2 days before. Their #5 Camalot (vs our biggest piece, a #4 Camalot) was a result and a testament to that discussion. They took a single backpack, a fact that may have slowed them down some despite dropping it on a leash in the chimneys. We just clipped stuff on the harness’s like our tennis shoes and went with a quart each of water. I had gotten some rack beta from Jamie who had done the route with Kevin earlier (Kevbone). Unfortunately I read Jamies e-mail once and promptly forgot the info. Getting back home I see Jamie’s e-mail said “we took stoppers, and doubles of blue TCU (or green alien) to a BD#3 and one BD#3.5 (you could bring another 3.5 or 4).” He also said “ I think we had 10 shoulder length slings with biners and maybe another 4 to 6 draws.” In contrast, Ujahn and I had a lighter rack, with singles of wired nuts with HB offsets in the small sizes and Dmms in the larger ones,. Then singles of cams to a #4 Camalot. Turns out that was plenty for us, with the exception that we could have used a Green Alien on the “5.9” roof above the Elephants Trunk pitch. The Yellow fit on the lip, in a piss poor shitty way, so I backed it up with a crappy brass offset which I didn’t like even before it fell out as I climbed past it. If you can do Beacon Rock 5.7, like the SE Corner Crux, Boardwalk and Cruisemaster, then you’ve got this and the next “5.9” pitch easily bagged. Our rack was a mixture of cam brands too. In the small range: the yellow and Red Aliens, red, gray and green Metolius ultalights in the small-mid range, a single small Metolius Supercam, a #2 Camalot, a Blue #3 Trango Maxcam and a #4 Camalot. We tossed in a #11 BD hex too for good measure, 7 full length 8mm skinny slings and no quickdraws. If I did it again, I’d leave the unused hex at home for sure as it only served to get cammed in place as you were climbing up, and maybe the #4 Camalot too, and I’d let skill substitute for that piece which you can use in 3 or 4 places, all but one being optional to get the weight off the rack. If I was feeling poor, scared or weak (pretty much all the time anymore), I’d take a 3.5 Wild Country Technical friend as my largest piece as it’s lighter than the #4 BD cam. The more I climb with the Metolius cams, the more impressed I am with everything about them. If they come out with a medium Supercam, it would most likely be the replacement piece for the Camalot for me. We left the smaller Camalots in the Casino, thinking that the lighter weight of the Metolious Ultralights would be preferred. The rack was perfect. We still could have trimmed off a couple of the largest DMM wired nuts if we’d wanted and been plenty fine, but you can sometimes find the damndest places in between the patina to cram them, places where a cam would never go. The Urostie guide calls out 18 pitches with 600-700 feet more of 4th class to the top, and although both Ujahn and I had gotten significantly more worked climbing the 350’ of the West Face of Monkey Face the weekend previous when it was almost freezing and the wind kicked up and put our home tied aiders flat and out sideways (guess what Ujahn got for Christmas!?) while the second then pumped out carrying the rucksack which included the rope (didn’t want to get it stuck!), this route still worked my ageing muscles enough that we spent the next day only gambling and messing around so we could rest. If you choose to jump on it, I’d recommend that one be in good shape and it wouldn’t hurt to be doing 5.10 trad. I hear of people who are getting up 5.9 really work hard in the chimneys and totally get their asses handed to them, for me, except for 1 very very hard 2' section where I suspect I was turned the wrong way, the chimneys were not bad, and as Ujahn was climbing better than anybody else that day, I suspect he hardly noticed that he was even in a chimney. Rosanna Brock put this route in the 50 favorite routes book as her fav. It’s a pretty good route, and it has some killer awesome pitches, especially the higher ones after the chimneys - but I think I like Frogland and some others which are right down the way better, IMO. If you are wondering how your time might be on Epi, we had finished Frogland (5.8 and 8 pitches in the book) in 2-1/2 hours on route, while getting off route once. We’d run the rope till it got short, then build a belay there. We were;nt trying for fast time, just climibng normally and thats what it was. We had not taken a topo or any description, just following the visual potential of what we thought the route was, and my very poor memory of doing it years ago. On Epi, we made it to the car before Karsten and Jeremiah, having passed them on the descent, and when Karston came down he was counting the minutes, he said “Awesome, 10-1/2 hours car to car”. So that should give you an idea of your time. Furthermore, if you do crank Frogland first, that descent is also the lower part of the Epi descent, so it would be nice to have that sussed if you think it might be dark on Epi when you get off (pretty common occurrence I understand). Take headlamps, especially in winter when the sun is setting at 4:30 pm. Approach Notes: The approach is easy. Stright down the Black Velvet Canyon Gully. If the big boulder blocking the ditch has a rope, monkey hang it, otherwise - skirt left out of the canyon. The Descent needs explaining. Joseph had put the descent beta somewhere online, I'd look for it and memorize it. It's not too bad- but getting off route would be like North Dome Gully descent in Yos, not good, and with cactus to remind you that you're not on a trail too! As you top out and head up (East) to the summit of the formation you WERE on, look south and slghtly east to the next peak over. Head there, and when you get there, following the cairns, turn left towards Vegas and follow a long ridge down and slightly right until it curves hard left towards the gully behind Frogland. Some of the cairns are huge, but if you miss them and head down to early you're screwed.

It doesn't sound as interesting as that game which involves running over pededstrians, killing police, picking up hookers and then having to kill them to get your money back.

Hot and Nasty pictures of Miss Nevada Evidently Trump is pissed cause Miss USA was not just out partying, but was out doing - in some way - naughty sexual things. Personally, I think it's bullshit that these chics get picked because of that sexuality, but they cannot in anyway display it. Maybe we should be encouraging more of this kind of (ab)normal behavior. Wondering if anyone else has seen this and what your thoughts are. Miss Nevada in Red.

Good call TimL on that change of direction. Best find out what locals are really doing and help out as much as possible. And I almost want to second that idea about teaching them the superior American way. These pussies backed out of the coalition of the willing when we attacked Iraq, and look where it got them! They can't even afford to waste fuel commuting with big SUV's in the superior American way. Now they have bolted crack routes springing up everywhere and will have to invade Morroco or who knows what the hell else to fix the issue. Bet they wind up asking for our help to bail them out....sigh.just like those pussies the French in both WW1, AND WW2...sigh.. only to be stabbed in the back again:......... treacherous Euros. And now it's almost getting to expensive too go over there and drink the wine and the Cognac and eat the cheese...or in those awesome Parisian eateries.....sigh...

I think that was the plot for the last James Bond flick. But I concur. I'll keep my eyes open, it would be real nice to catch someone like this. BTW, seriously - homeowners insurance should cover it. I had someone break into my truck (parked in front of my home) and they covered 2 tool boxes full of primo tools. Less a $500 deductable, but it's amazing how much $ it all added up too.

Cascade Crags in N calif. read Stifflers posts.

I gotta work on my sense of humor Rudy. Comedy how? PS, 1 John Wayne Bobbit story a decade is plenty.

Wow, most interesting thread revival luv2 kayak. Given the extreeme weather those 3 must have been facing, who will ever know. I do find this interesting: Rock and Ice did some test recently that showed you can easily develop 1300 lbs force on a short Toproping fall. I think if I had an Older rope, and an older Reverso.....well, it's pretty sketch if your not paying attention to your gear. Be interesting to see what happens in 3 or 4 years as some of these ultra thin single lines get old.