Dr_Flash_Amazing

Of your mouth?! You're a sick puppy, Trash.

'samatter, Trask? Pacifier fall out?

Damn, that's fortunate for you! It's amazing how gorgeous the Kolob area is; certainly just as spectactular as the main Zion canyon, and yet no one goes there. Thousands of people swarm all over Zion, and up at Kolob there are fewer than 10 cars in the visitor's center parking lot, and the parking lot for the S. Fork of Taylor's Creek (with a capacity of what, 60 or 80 cars?) is completely empty. That hike was easily as cool as some of the stuff in the main part of the park, and NO ONE ELSE was in the canyon. Awesome.

How 'bout this one? Frank the new CEO had to answer to the board the board was getting anxious and the shareholders were on the bed, legs in air, ass cheeks open wide they were about to get fucked like it was their first time when one makes 20 million and ten thousand people lose what keeps that one from swallowing a shotgun? Dan the company man felt loyalty to the core (corps) after sixteen years of service and a family to support he actually started to believe the weaponry and chemicals were for national defense 'cause Danny had a mortgage and a boss to answer to the guilty don't feel guilty, they learn not to Helen was living in her car tryin' to feed her kids she got laid off from work and her house was repossessed it's hard to think clearly when it's 38 degrees desperate people have been known to render desperate deeds but when she shot that family and moved into their home the paper read she suffered from dementia And this one: First they put away the dealers keep our kids safe and off the streets then they put away the prostitutes keep married men cloistered at home then they shooed away the bums then beat and bashed the queers turned away asylum seekers fed us suspicion and fears we didn't raise our voice we didn't make a fuss it's funny, there was no one left to notice when they came for us looks like witches are in season you better fly your flag and be aware of anyone who might fit the description diversity is now our biggest fear now with our conversations tapped and our differences exposed how you s'posed to love your neighbor with your blinds and curtains closed? we used to worry 'bout big brother now we got a big father and an even bigger mother and you still believe this aristocracy gives a fuck about you they put the "mock" in "democracy" and you swallowed every hook the sad truth is you'd rather follow the school into the net 'cause swimming alone at sea is not the kind of freedom that you actually want so go back to your crib and suck on a tit go bask in the warmth of your diaper you're sitting in shit and piss while sucking on a giant pacifier a country of adult infants a legion of mental midgets a country of adult infants a country of adult infants all regaining their unconciousness

Not coersion? What do you call thousands of people getting turned away from the polls or restricted from voting because of felonies they supposedly committed in the state of Texas (!), despite the fact that they did no such thing? It's tough to keep faith in such a cornerstone system of our country when it can be so shamelessly and blatantly manipulated by parties interested in grabbing power (i.e. Bush et al).

Well, at least we can take comfort in the fact that the soon-to-be hyper-consolidated mass media will be able to more cheaply and efficiently inform the public about what's really going on in our nation and its leadership. Yep.

The Pietasters' cover of The Business' "Drinking and Driving" rips it. Less Than Jake's covers of assorted TV theme songs (esp. 'Dukes of Hazzard'), and "Jenny (867-5309)". NOFX's cover of "All of Me" (popularized by Billie Holiday, written by somebody else probably).

Fairly typical of an administration that talks support of the common person (tax cuts will create jobs, no child left behind, support the troops and wave your flags), but the ultimate outcomes of their actions are decidedly in opposition to their stated aims. It's truly disgusting, though, to see that even in an area in which their feelings appear to be genuine (the military), their actions come up short, as does their money, most of which seems to have been sieved out by the pockets of assorted defense contractors. Disgusting, indeed. Puke up your last meal for the Bush whitehouse once again!

Just trying to come up with the Patriotic response. Sheesh!

While at the Redmond Brewery after a day of Smithtuff a while back, one member of our group who had just turned 21 (NOT, needless to say, a regular climbing partner) made the unfortunate decision to order a hard cider. A few people gave him some shit, and then dinner came and it was forgotten. After eating and chilling for a while, the check came, and while reading over the tab, one of the women in the group asks, in horrified disgust, "who ordered the wine cooler?" Seems the poor lad's "hard cider" had been rung up thusly. He was quite embarrassed to have his choice of beverage so harshly maligned, and by a beer-drinking chick no less. So don't worry, you're not alone.

Fuckin' A, you cheesewheel! If you can't hold down two cans of Amerikan pisswater "beer", maybe you should quit drinking altogether. Or try something a little more your speed, like Zima. What're you, a cheerleader or some shit?

Just curious Greg, In your opinion, what consitutes anti-American? In saying that I wish some things were different in this country, am I considered anti-American? DIE COMMIE PINKO FAGGOT!

You fucking plagiarizer! GO GET YOUR OWN GODDAMNED QUOTE BITCH How about something to the effect of having a gear sale in the parking lot as soon as you hike out of the park (another favorite of both DFA and a certain Curtain)?

Jus' two of the hueco'd ones; the .10d warmup and then Namaste. Pumpy and sandy and long. We looked at some of the SLABBY routes, too, but once you hike for an hour plus in all that heat, and you finally get to this shady wall with the most incredible looking climbing on it, it's real easy to forget about climbing slabs. 'Specially if you hate climbing slabs anyway.

What secret beta? There's no other holds on the sumbitch; just the offset to grab and a couple of anorexic Rice Krispies to pretend you can stand on. Least up until the top section, anyways. So spill the beta, hoss.

"No fucking way, I've wanted to fucking lead this goddamn climb for fucking forever! What the fuck do you think I am, some sort of fucking incompetent?! If you ever again try to take one of my fucking leads on this fucking climb I will take this fucking knife (brandishing his Swiss Army knife), saw your fucking ears off, then cut you loose to plummet to your death you fucking miserable condescending piece of shit!!!!!!" Funny thing, Captain Caveman always sounded like such a competent climber on cc.com. At least he accurately represents his personality, if not, apparently, his climbing prowess.

Y'all muhfuggas hilar'ous an' shit. Nah, f'reals. Too funny.

Waitasec, you were talking about establishing new routes. You're a tradly gearslinger; if you wanna see new crack routes, can't you just step up to any ol' crack, chalk up, stuff it fulla gear, and name it Peter Puget Bonks Your Momma, and call it good? Isn't that the beauty of the pureandnaturalartofrockprotection lifestyle? You wanna replicate O2, just go to the nearest doorway in your home or office, shut the door, and try to layback up the molding with your feet pasted on the door itself. Go up and down about six times, then deadpoint for the top of the molding from about midway. Kind of hard to replicate the finish, but that's mostly the jist of it.

blah

Unemployed people put up routes? You looked at the pricetag on a shiny new Hilti bolt gun lately, Pewzhay? Bolts cost money, too, as does a torque wrench. Dig it, though; you endow DFA with the necessary hardware and he'll put up some sick new classics for ya. Maybe even custom-chip some pockets if you're lucky, you know, for that "Churning Buttress" feel.

We hit up the sport routes up in Kolob Canyon. Fuckin' spectacular goodness there. We eyeballed Tourist Crack, which looked cool, but we didn't wind up getting back up there to climb it. Maybe if we had been able to just drive up and not have to take 45 min. on the shuttle. We looked at the Pulpit, too, but the mini bolt ladder fuckaround start looked sorta jive, and the top only looked so-so, thus we crossed that off the list. Plus it was a jillion degrees out. A jillion. Was hot, too. Sorry! We did watch some poor soloist bastard baking to a frcking crisp hanging in his aiders on Space Shot, though. Misery with a capital M right there. And some other climbers had to get rescued 'cause they were all dehydrated or some shit. There you have it, pretty much.

"Fuck this rock climbing shit!" - Dr. Flash Amazing

Just run some 3mm cord through the cassette/disc slot and clip it to your harness. If things get epic, you can always rap off of it.