Dr_Flash_Amazing

FUCK THE FLAG AND FUCK YOU!

SWEET! Just like the Wu-Tang shit! What's that touch of death shit called again? Dim-Mak or something? And then there's the RZA, who'll "crack ya skull, without penetratin' the skin"! Oh, and you're a mindless corporate zombie. Be proud you're exchanging your freedom for Halliburton's profit margin, you naive little dupe.

Its plastic ...who cares? Word up to that one. Not to mention, if you're climbing V2 one day and V0 a couple days later, the problem's probably just graded wrong. Happens all the damn time at the PRG, and people spend SO much time talking about it. Fuck it! If it feels way harder or easier than the grade, it probably is, but it's just a gym problem; don't mean nothin'. Not to mention, there is at least one frequent routesetter at the PRG who will put up problems and sometimes grade them without climbing them. Even if that isn't always the case, problems are usually just graded by whoever puts them up, with little consensus, whereas a route outside is probably going to be evaluated by at least a few people before a grade is settled on. If the routesetter is a technique fiend, or has a plus-ten ape index, or is four feet tall, or can squeeze juice out of the rocks like El Sharma, it's gonna affect their perception of how hard the rig is. Don't let it getcha down!

It's pretty good-sized, too; looks like about half the roped climbing area is beginner/intermediate terrain (no idea what the rest looks like, although rumour has it it's STEEP). They put in three crack routes, too, which do more than just go straight up.

Cruel, heartless, insensitive bastard!

And you need to quit having your brain washed so frequently. Fascist vampire.

Republican bloodsucker. Run over any poor people with your SUV today, Rambo?

Actually, it's funny you should mention it, because the rest of the album really is pretty eloquent, and there's great liner notes, too, explaining the songs and pointing you to relevant sources of information so you can learn a little about the issues they're singing about, as well as an insert encouraging people to vote, and a little picture of Bush with "ONE TERM PRESIDENT" underneath it that you can photocopy and make little flyers out of. A good, engaging piece of art, the whole package. 'Fuck the Flag' is pretty tongue-in-cheek, although there was something rousing about thousands of middle fingers in the air when they played it at their show last week. "FUCK THE FLAG AND FUCK YOU! FUCK THE FLAG AND FUCK YOU! FUCK THE FLAG AND FUCK YOU!"

I'm suspended now hanging in the gray of a weather-beaten town December rolls around lays a blanket of herself on the ground where comfort lives in sound like a gun laying cold on the ground no way to spell it out there's still much to say of a gun left do-o-own most of me is elsewhere wondering shall we hear a song or shall we live one? soaked to the bone I'm suspended now hanging in the gray of a weather-heavy cloud soften my face and bow to bid my farewells to the ground for now part of me is sinking and pondering hope is a gracious term aligned with the faith that reason has a course to take may it be the just one, until then ... I will drown (DROW-OW-OW-OWWWN) and go down without a fit how glorious is it? bound in sound (SOU-OU-OU-OUUND) even and weightless, and free from wrist to wrist - HWM, "In the Gray"

Try the new Anti-Flag LP "The Terror State". If you get one of the first 15,000 copies, you get the bonus track 'Fuck the Flag', which consists mostly of the line "FUCK THE FLAG AND FUCK YOU!" being hollered repeatedly over headspinningly fast punk rock. Just in time for the holidays!

Still function? Fuck that; you've got the perfect, inarguable justification for not functioning. Just lie down under your desk and slowly construct a wall of spent Kleenex between your cubicle and the rest of the office. If anyone comes by and asks what you're doing, just tell them you're looking for your stapler or something.

Yeah, what's the saying again? Climb harder, not smarter?

Four days 'til the new PRG is open for tuggin'. Passed by today and they've got tons of holds up in the beginner area already. Goodbye, overcrowded chalkdust-inhalation factory, hello new terrain and plenty of sickness to go 'round.

Maybe so. Although the Doctor has heard that some people compensate with the ... how you say? The, the what is this, the "teckneek"?

No fuggin' WAY, dude. No way.

Sheesh, the best one? Every trip's got its goods, don't it? There was the Amazing Family Honeymoon ... beautiful Zion NP, sport routes in Kolob Canyon, cobble-tugging at Maple, a side trip to Joe's on a rest day -- driving over beautiful mountains and spying SO much climbing potential, burning in the sun at Wild Iris and seeing all the flowers and ravens and gorgeous white limestone (can't see the chalk marks on that stuff!), a couple days back at Smith ... word! There was that freezing-cold post Thxgiving trip to Bishop, meeting up with D_____ and C___ and M___, and climbing like three boulder problems, V1 and easier, after not climbing for 9 months then heading home. Fuckin' awesome good time. Who knows how many winter trips to Red Rocks, basking in great weather, enjoying great temps (too warm in December?!!), meeting awesome people and just enjoying some of the funnest climbing around. That place always delivers on the fun times, even though it is next to that Hell incarnate known as Las Vegas.

Rock 'n Ice also recommends "BZZZAATTT!". DFA prefers "BIP!" or "BAM!" or "BPOAW!" or "HYIT!" or something like that, but every once in a while, a "GYYYYAAAAAAHHHH!!!" is what you really need. Seriously, that shit helps, especially on deadpoints and dynos. Also in that vein, the Doctor will holler at or make demands of himself or certain moves or holds, like "c'mon, fucker!", or "come here!", that type of thing; specific commands with the aim of bolstering the physical effort, focusing, following through, etc. And before going for an onsight, etc., spending a lot of time looking over everything, studying all the holds and trying to see a path through the route, trying to solve the sequences, looking for sucker holds to avoid, etc. Look for the rests, remind yourself to get psyched if you know where the crux is, etc. Then lace up your good shoes (DFA reserves the lace-ups for onsight/flash attemps and redpoint burns), top off your chalkbag, calm yourself, focus, and go for it.

First of all it's "espresso". Secondly, and more to the point, figure about two tablespoons of ground beans per 8 oz. cup of coffee or shot of espresso, which is about 75-100 (or so) milligrams of caffeine. That's probably like a couple handfuls of them chocolate-covered jobbies. 'Course, there's some caffeine from the chocolate, too, but who knows how much (probably on the interweb somewhere). Still, you're probably getting about as much caffeine from a mouthful of choco-spro beans as you might from, say, a packet of PowerGel, and the beans don't taste like Elmer's Glue with Strawberry Qwik in it!

And Bush didn't win, you fucking git. So it looks like the answer to your question is that if he didn't win, he'd just swindle his way into office.

It's funny, on the vehemently traditionalist/old-school side of this discussion (or whatever it be), we have this argument about everything being grid bolted, etc. But most route development doesn't happen this way, most new crags aren't developed this way, and it's generally found to be unpleasant to have a bunch of routes squeezed into too small an area. That kind of shit happens at Smith now and then, and the buffoons that bolt that way get a healthy helping of shit flung in their direction. The fact is that this is just not a common practice at most areas, nor, for the most part, is it usually smiled upon. And crowds? You wanna talk about crowds? DFA has been heading to Smith for the past 11 years, and yeah, for a while there, you were seeing more and more bolt-clippers queued up at the base of the popular routes. But in the last couple of years, the places the Doctor has been seeing the most people piled up are routes like Zebra/Zion, Karate Crack, Cinnamon Slab, Wartley's, and the like. It used to be a surprise to see someone on Z/Z, and you could go a couple weekends without seeing someone on Karate Crack. But lately, there have been a couple parties a day on both of those and more. So how does that fit into your complaint? You can decry the way sport crags get developed and pine for the days of people practicing The Whole Pure and Natural Art of Organic, Free-Range, Hormone-Free Rock Climbing, but what happens when the crowds heed your words? You'll see a lot more people who agree with you about what kind of climbing is Right, sure, and you'll have plenty of time to talk to them about it while you wait in line for your gear lead of choice. Not enough fringe dwellers in the sport anymore? Do YOU live out of your van, subsisting on picnic table leftovers and pillaged church picnic buffet food? Or is your 8-to-5, take the Volvo to Safeway, suburban lifestyle about as whitebread boring as the average sport monkey's? Go ahead and bitch, just watch where you point that stick clip (oh, wait, it's a cheater stick for you guys -- sorry).

Look who's talking, Mr. Didn't-drink-any-beer!

Whatever?!? We just open the cage, take the trad climber out and make him cook us dinner...then we put him back after he does the dishes... Word, sports climbers don't give a fuck, yo! Smack them crack slackers up and make 'em carry your stick clip is how the DFA posse works it. They start to get fussy, you just give 'em some tape and they keep themselves occupied making tape gloves for the next two hours, an' if they try to leave, you just clip one of their Birkenstocks to the third bolt of Toxic where they'll never get it back. And if they want it back? Hell yeah, they're cookin' you dinner if they want that shit back, 'cause you're gonna have to climb up there an' get it for 'em! Fuckin' A right!

Hell yeah, Smith was choice on Sunday! And Saturday was sort of OK until the rain and freezing wind started! Thank God for Bend's thriving brewing industry.

It wasn't enough to burninate the peasants and their thatched-roof cottages (THATCHROOFCOTTAGES!!!), he's after the chessboard now? Savage!

Subhelical transvector pigeon beta vortex! Not only a woefully underused term, but a woefully underused source of information for unlocking Smith Rock's most perplexing vertical conundrums, and in flawless style, no less. It all starts at the base of Toxic, basking in the warm spring breeze with a mouthful of water from the Crooked and a smear of pigeon shit on your forehead. When the time is right, your mind unlocks the soothing cooing of the tuff's feathery denizens, and never again will you fail to send. Pigeon power. Learn to use it!