Dr_Flash_Amazing

1. Word, big props to Mr. Caldwell for firing TBONTB! Nice work! 2. You saw DFA. Riiiiiight. 3. Clip 'em up! Viva sportisme! (How d'ya like that Crack Babies rig? Good fun, huh?) To the mudpile!

Oh, oops. It's "prolotherapy" and "myotherapy". Seems to be more of a natural medicine thing, but not excessively fruity.

So, in the new R&I, there's an article touting the "miracle" tendon restoring powers of prolo- and myotherapies. While the former sounds as if it has remarkable potential, it also sounds potentially dangerous, and not necessarily objectively proven to work. The latter seems to be more related to short-term pain control. Does anyone have any experience with either of these treatments, or have you heard anything about them? Or even any thoughts on the article or insight you might have into the processes. Pretty fascinating stuff, for anyone whose connective tissues have gotten the hurt from the ravages of craggin'.

On the other hand, now you have the perfect excuse for not sending Dreamtime! "Oh, yeah, like, I was totally saving it for the onsight, but, like, it's totally defiled now and I don' want nuttin'a do widdit."

Pouch Whisker and Scrotal Avenger at Smith are winners!

Word on 8a.nu is that Dreamtime got downgraded 'cause some fool chipped it.

Hard to say, but fire is generally known for making things red-hot after prolonged contact therewith. Also known as "duh".

Ditto the above recco for West Side living. The East Side has been developed in the cookie-cutter suburbia aesthetic, and is mostly (not entirely) devoid of cultural, recreational, and gastronomical appeal, although you may find cheapish rent in a newish apartment megaplex, if you're into that sort of thing. The west side has the breweries, the park, the outdoor stores, the coffee joints, downtown, the climbing gym, actual older neighborhoods, the bouldering, and the added advantage of allowing you to make W's with your hands and hollering "west-saaaaayyyyyeeeeeed" in your best South Central accent. Choice. (Try www.bendbulletin.com for rental listings.) Bend's pretty small, with a pretty concentrated downtown area containing most of your likely hangouts, with likely backup haunts within about a mile, mostly on main streets. It's a very user-friendly, easy place to live. Killer weather, friendly/outdoor-minded folks, with climbing opportunities year-round if you're motivated, a free outdoor summer music festival thingy, and good beer and food in relative abundance. Score. (Taco Stand, Deschutes Brewery, Pizza Mondo, Toomey's (Thai), BBC, Westside Bakery, Cup o' Magic (if they're still open -- fruity name, killer bagels) are all recommended for grubbin'.) For the after-work/school/hangover climbing sesh, there is fine bouldering to be had at Meadow Camp (watch for ticks), The Zone (watch for rent-a-cops on the approach), The Awbrey Glen golf course (technically, you shouldn't go here; realistically, just don't get caught -- it's not going to get any more closed to climbing than it already is, and it's never going to get any less closed to climbing -- winter and evenings are the best times to go), and there are some more areas that the locals can fill you in on. And of course Smith is 20 minutes away. Nice. (For the rare times you need to climb inside, InClimb is the local gym; dunno anything about it, tho') You're also a stone's throw from a healthy chunk of hikeable wilderness, alpine choss-groveling, caving, motorized off-road erosionification, whitewater boating, swimming, snow-sliding, mountain bicycling, trail running, etc. etc. etc. Lucky bastard.

The PRG can be way crowded, especially the bouldering area, however the lead routes are often uncrowded, and, depending on what times and days you visit, the gym can be fairly peaceful. Memberships are in fact fifty bucks a month with a one-year commitment (they debit your checking account; nice and easy); if you're a sucker, you get hosed and pay the higher month-by-month rate. Don't forget French's Dome for excellent summer training terrain (it's in the Portland Rock Climbs book, inexplicably listed in the "adventure climbing" section -- fully bolted and 50 yards from the road, it's anything but). As mentioned previously, it's way too wet to climb outside much of the time, so your best bet is to get fit in the gym, then unleash your fitness on the unsuspecting yellow mud out east.

Seam Grip is likewise useful, as is a product called Freesole, also from the friendly McNett folks if DFA is not mistaken. Probably just Seam Grip in a different tube ...

Iz this about the PRG? If so, are you or were you high on white dope, glue, prescription narcotics, or the like? If this was at some other gym, please disregard.

Woulda saved Badman for the onsight instead of having to settle for second go. You just never forget those fundamental mistakes.

Let's not go overboard here! Of course Dr. Flash Amazing is not mortal!

Doing a pullup, locking off, and letting go with one hand is also a recommended way of working up to one-arms. Start with just trying to hold the lockoff with one arm, then you want to try and lower yourself with one arm (in a controlled fashion, natch), and work up to lowering yourself and stopping at various points and holding the lockoff, e.g. at 90 degrees, 60, 30, etc. Theoretically, once you've got all that under control, you can start trying to reverse the process. It should be noted, though, that a young DFA tried this program for a while and never could crank off a one-arm. But DFA ain't exactly the burliest monkey at the gym, either.

Does this "roommate" have the Sportiva foot or the 5.10 foot?

Get the Cloud in Scandalous Houndstooth with the Electro-Tartan accents and Ergorogynous detachable hoodcuffs, or the Gucc' in Pulse-Modulated Funkflash Bloozbairy V.3.17 with neodymium magnetic zippers and Beryllium tweeters. Either one will look righteous at the rock gym or at Starbx. Frapp' on!

Apparently they were designed with the help of Scott Franklin, who used to be a renowned hard-person, and presumably knows a thing or two about rock shoe performance. Couple that with a presumably healthy budget being as they're from an established company, and you could be looking at some reasonably good shoes. 'course, the only real test is to try 'em on and try 'em out. If they fit and climb well, then you're stoked. Who knows, though? Last time Franklin was endorsing shoes it was Boreal's Vector, "like little Ferraris for your feet", ca. 1993. Shoe designs have changed a good deal since then (or at least, GOOD shoe designs have).

Oh, futch! How could DFA forget the forgettable (at least, you want to forget it) Cool Ranch Flavor? It hurts to fail to onsight a route that should be a gimme, especially when the route sucks to boot. Hardest 5.11 at Smith or something.

Whaddevur, fuggo. A quick survey of any number of Smith Rock hardpersons will reveal an overflowing font of BBQ hatred. Go slog your way up another pile of frozen-together 4th class choss (don't forget the forced t-shirt bivy in a lightning storm on a sloping one-cheek ledge where a marmot eats your last Gu packet and your partner has uncontrollable gas) to prove you can't actually rock climb.

Whaddayoomean, "undeserved"? Anyway, BBQ is thin, funky, meandering, kinda unpleasant (i.e. really unpleasant), and Dr. Flash Amazing always feels like he's gonna fall off it. It should be noted that this is not the only Smith 5.10 that gives DFA that gonna-pitch-any-second feeling. Might as well get that feeling on 5.12s, if yer gonna get it.

... or .11a if you start w/Zeb. Direct or .11d+ if you start with Zebra Seam, or 5.13x if you solo it from Dandy Line, etc.

Probably be better off if you did just that. DFA hasn't battled that hard on a .12a since he was a 5.11 climber back in the dizzay. And Rude Bwoi -- thanks for the correction! And what're you talking about, Time's Up being .12d? You're off your rocker, cock-knocker!

.11a - Pure Palm (Once dubbed "pretty hard for a .12a" by a PDX hardperson who didn't realize it was .11a). Overnight Sensation is pretty taxing, too. .10a - BBQ (even though it's really .12a ) .12c - Go Dog Go (would be hard for .12d, too) or maybe Last Waltz (Ouch!) .13a - Oxygen (can't we just call it .13b?) .12d - Taco Chips (although rumor has it Split Image is one sick little number -- even the French think so) .12b - Watts Tots - has this route actually ever been sent? .12a - Slit Your Wrist - OK, there's no way that thing's .12a. Yowza. .11b - Vomit Launch or Shake 'n' Flake (Maybe the latter just sucks?)

What about the Sissy Traverse, punters? Linx up SIX diff'rent routes, saves the bizzie for the finnie, ooh-aah!

Probably depends on what, if anything, is wrong with your shoulder(s) to begin with. If you've seen a diagram of the shoulder, you know it's a complicated thingus, with all types of ligaments and tendons and crisscrossing shit packed into relatively tight quarters, making it the handy-dandy joint that it is. Point being, with so many things hap'nin' in there, a lot of things could potentially be wrong, and not necessarily be easy to diagnose at that. Anyway, to further confuse the discussion, DFA's shoulder surgeon (OHSU's upper extremity specialist) recommended the internal and external rotation exercises, as did DFA's physical therapist. Those exercises were in fact recommended to the Doctor both when the shoulder doc thought DFA had a rotator cuff infury AND after Mr. Surgeon figured out that DFA needed surgery for a labral tear (SLAP lesion, to use the orthopod's parlance). Make of that what you will. If there's nothing acutely wrong with your shoulder, though, and you're not doing exercises that cause you pain, and you're doing them carefully and conscientiously, there probably aren't many that are "bad" for you. Unless maybe you're only focusing on certain muscles and not balancing things out, in which case you're asking for an injury. Blah blah blah, be careful.