Dr_Flash_Amazing

Fine portrait of the Beef Curtain, that's for sure. And Gary Rall with a mullet and neon lycra -- awesome!

Oops, that's a key part of it. Yes, have your belayer keep you on. That way, if for some reason the anchor blows, you've got whatever gear or bolts you're clipped in below you to keep you off the deck.

Damn, dude! How are you knocking in that many holes-in-one?

Dru? Iain? Timm@y? Who's behind the dastardly dryad? And what the hell's a dryad, while we're at it?

No! Guessing sucks! Just tell us who you think we thought you weren't before or let it drop.

dryad = Trish Fox?

The above is an excellent technique, and is commonly referred to as "back-tying", FYI. That way you can either let your partners know "hey, I'm going to back-tie at the anchor, or if someone suggests that you do so or whatever, you won't be like "huh? Do I have a black tie?"

Oh shit! That's beautiful, man!

No way, Captain Booty. You can't handle the runout chossy nightmare hardman horrorfests that DFA climbs. Like Cinnamon Slab, for one. You wouldn't make it past the approach stairs. Spiderman, for another. The death-defying free-solo downclimb over Asterisk Pass would have you pissing your pants with 'nad-shriveling fear. And you would die of hypoxia trying to weasel your way over Misery Ridge, so don't even try it.

Off White: urban myth debunker extraordinaire.

Now, now. Let's not be mean to one another!

Probably so. Who can afford to simply bestow hand-drying agents and light comestibles on the climbing community at large? Clearly a case for the ever-useful stolen items!

Convenient excuse. Don't let the clubhouse door hit you in the ass on the way out!

That screen shot images was clearly manipulated with some kind of photo editing software. You're disqualified from the tourney, you shameless rascal!

Nice one, Mr. Cynical. Perhaps they shouldn't give away food, either, since it makes you poop at the park? Anyway, it's on May 10th, and registration starts that morning at the ungodly and character-building hour of 8 a.m. Be there or be a four-sided geometric figure with equal-length sides connected at 90-degree angles.

The vomiting during the dancing bit was top-shelf!

Trask, can't you be nice for once, you shitsucking ass-weaselfuck? Jeez, man!

Well now that is just rude.

Hey y'all - Perhaps you're familiar with the Spring Thing at Smith Rock. If you climb at Smith often and enjoy flat belays, erosion-control terracing, stairs, and other conveniences but are unfamiliar with the Spring Thing, perhaps this is the year to familiarize yourself. Us (we?) climbers have a big impact on the park, and this is an opportunity to help mitigate that impact. Before participating in the ST a few years ago, DFA had assumed that the park service installed and maintained all the trails and erosion-control stuff, but a hefty percentage of it is done by climbers at the Spring Thing. This is an excellent opportunity to give some back, and the pride of ownership one gets from working on the park greatly adds to the appreciation of the place, as well as encouraging a more proactive stewardship type of attitude year 'round. It's also pretty fun, as you get to wield sharp and/or heavy tools, haul rocks around, and play in the dirt like the adolescent hooligan you know you are. There is usually some free booty when you show up in the morning such as Clif Bars, chalk, coffee, sporty drinks, and assorted knick-knacks. Then, after slaving all day and getting choice blisters, you are treated to a fat buffet-style chow-down, free beer (bring your own to supplement, as it goes fast), a benefit raffle for the Access Fund and further work at Smith with a ton of prizes, and some slide show action. An excellent way to cap off a good day of doing good things, a fine way to meet people, and a great experience overall. Further information is available here: http://www.smithrock.com/flash/events/spring_thing_help.html

Attention dog owners: http://www.smithrock.com/flash/news/dog.html

Horoshy malchik!

Awww, that's cute! That could explain the matching luggage, too.

Isn't that snow?

Spoken like a true Dr. Flash Amazing doppelganger. Throw in a few references to prescription drugs and PBR, and adopt an air of haughty disdain for everyone and everything, and you're set!

Mmmm ... Spaaaaanawaaaayyyy!