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ivan

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Everything posted by ivan

  1. ivan

    Put on

    there's always the desert...
  2. dude - i'm from the 'couve! i just go to oregon to buy and ride taun-tauns!
  3. world's tallest gravel pile what? no, just gravel pile - need it for the oregon merit badge though was hoping it'd still be mostly covered in snow in march all bets are off 'course if the weather's fine up north and there's a readily available mentally deranged partner around
  4. not sure i want that kind of passivity in a partner - dude! - sounds like you shoulda beaten holy hell out of him on a couple of occasions! if only i could be so calm...
  5. i only smoke my junk mail when i run out of banana peels
  6. perhaps the short bus actually showed up today?
  7. where's "removing the top of my skull so i can rub my brains w/ a steel-brush in the vain hope that i can forget the whole thing?"
  8. Here you go Oly SLACK!
  9. the timing of this wonderful verse cost me 3 minutes - i had to work to dislodge the fruit piece from mein septum after a giggle fit
  10. i try not count my chickens until the pope shits in the woods
  11. depends on how hung-over i'll be after mailing my fawk'n national board portfolios off!
  12. or else it gets the hose!
  13. i think that means "i have ten hamburgers" - better go back down there and straighten their little fat, young asses out!
  14. i can't NOT look at it
  15. tvash - you gon' change your avatar icon anytime soon or should i just go ahead and gouge out my eyeballs edipus-style in self-defense?
  16. really stinky balls. jeeusst one more dayeee up in thuh keeanyeeeon.... My wife just informed me that the Counting Crows are her favorite band ever. Anyone know a good lawyer? you're in the habit of asking the opinion of spanish chain-wenches?
  17. is that man-thing holding his wee beastly cock? he looks so fawk'n mechanical i would nae be surprised.
  18. anyone remember smiff tuff love 3 or 4 years ago when somehow someone's boombox went on playing Da Crows continously for something like 3000 hours straight?
  19. red foxx: "color don't matter (he might as well been talking 'bout age or beauty). you think color matters when the lights go out? shit, when the lights go out it just becomes a question of who's washed."
  20. ivan

    HardGore Liar

    everyone needs to read a chapter or two from The Helping Friendly Book
  21. the whole country's gone to hell since ccr busted up....
  22. i nearly threw up an entire west rib burger on jim bridwell's dog in a spastic opiatic stupor once
  23. ***blind melon - walk*** Find myself singing the same songs everyday Ones that make me feel good When things behind the smiles ain't ok Around and over and in-between the seas I need to be on top of a mountain Where I can be see everything Cause this paranoia's getting old Now as I open my eyes to start another day I'm in a pile of puke Empty bag of excuses My love for friends and family you know I need them And under a sun that's seen it all before My feet are so cold And I can't believe that I have to bang my Head against this wall again But the blows they have just a little more Space in-between them Gonna take a breath and try again.
  24. IMHO: if you're passionate about climbing, day dream at work about your next climbing trip, watch climbing video while making-out, who else will "get" you but another climber? I sell real estate for a living. My job is highly professional and I wear suites every day. Some nights I wear my tightest jeans and the taller the heel the better. But most of the time I'd rather be dirt baggin' with a fellow climber. A guy climbing with his shirt off, chalk on his face, greasy hands from the rope, full rack across his chest? Beats any swanker wearing a suite. Words of advice sister: he's gotta climb. Just makes it so much better... especially if you have a solid group of mutual climber friends. sickie i hear mike layton's available - bonus package - he also comes with cigarettes, cowboy boots and pbr! *EDITED TO ADD* jesus, what timing! maybe i should read pages 4 n'5 of spray before replying to pg 3 shit?
  25. my first trip to beacon i went w/ a stranger, who i thought knew the place - we ended up climbing above the picnic bench right on the ne corner - had to bail from 2 pitchs up in the land of eternal moss - 8-ball decided to rap off a million year old pin - i watched as he weighted it - it was a knifeblade, mabye 1/2 in the crack - it bent neatly in half as i screamed at him to get the fuck off the rope before he killed the tourists gawking up at us directly below
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