ivan

"The problem with most people's philosophies is they're dead" - Yossarian the Super-Cool Philosopher (and he never was alive, so therefore he's exempt from his own rule, so there!)

"it's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart"

you wouldn't hit the baby-zombie jesus now would you, you mean little man - would you?!?

or you could just save yourself a lot of time and trouble and order a couple of pan-galactic gargle-blasters

my clown shoes are being resoled currently - if you wanna do wierdo trad stuff in trangos though i'm your boy

limes? if you wanna go fru-fru, how about blackberries? got plenty enough to fill your massive gourd growing right here in my own little patch of suburbia

my country isn't the same as my house - the washington monument doesn't have a dirty pair of drawers hanging off the top of it and the relecting pool doesn't smell like piss

jesus - where would you begin to get the amount of tequila required to prevent that frosty beverage from being hopelessly watery?

"why? why you do this to me, timmy?"

you're like a child that's just wandered into the conversation!

speaking of christians, i hear feminists hate sex?

a cable guy? I'm sorry you lost me on this post. lol feeling dumb all day for this discussion but this one takes the cake. obviously you're not a golfer

a cable guy?

interesting.... how much for tickets, for those like me too lazy to follow a damn inter-web link?

is that you queequeg?

be comfortable w/ the 1 axe/tool method if you're not protecting the climb at the step - the consequences of falling there are not necessarily lethal but likely incredibly painful - while soloing it myself i was momentarily very pissed at my dull-ass axe

pornographic pictures of elizabeth hurley - was gonna post one but i got, uh, distracted by my inspiration and stuff...

illumination's great for bivying and building caves - bring a saw, it's often super-icy

tauntaun?

jesus!

found it! if you look closely, you might be able to discern what sort of paper j.c.'s been plastered with the spear-stigmata work beautifully w/ red wine - really enhanced the effect

if i ever found the nodder i'd treat him just like martin scorsese

nothing wrong w/ making fun of retards, queers or catholics or any other group so long as everyone under the sun gets the same treatment - like the drill instructor from full metal jacket says - here you are all equally worthless that said, making fun of folks for the deliberate purpose of hurting them is lame, more so if they're incapable of defending themselves - but if we're to treat all folks equally, then either no one gets fucked w/, or everyone does - the trick is in the balance, in being the cheeky-fun-loving-asshole, not-the-fuck-your-sister-in-her-cornhole-and-tell-everyone-on-the-playground-about-it kind

man - where's a scanner when you need one? i have this fantastic black and white photo an amigo of mine took back in college - he and another heathen had crafted a nearly life-sized christ out of paper-mache and rigged it up so wine bladders could be fed into the back with the spout coming out of the stigmata - we hoisted him up on a huge cross in the front yard of our house and spent the weekend making friends w/ the neighbors - the thing was like a lightening rod - musta met a hundred cool folks who were walking down the street and had to join the hell-train. the picture is classic. j.c. looks sublimely pleased by the whole experience. the wine sucked though. don't know about christian climbers, but bivying w/ the big guy would rawk - no need to carry rations, just some fucking crumbs - you think he could turn the moss into chronic?

while we are talking about gyms... what about the assholes who circle the parking lot, looking for a spot close to the front door so they don't have to walk far. WTF? You're going to the gym for exercise, what is an extra 100's of feet hurt? i've noticed that phenomenon for years! then i noticed how many folks in my gym were actually tubby little bastards...