ivan

lord i hate that talus approach both the direct and original routes are fun, with the direct route being a bit harder (we also couldn't' really get an anchor at the top that way, which was skerry when my partner decided to hang for the better part of 10 minutes on the pumpy start )

no duck tape n' hooks?

pretty easy to wear tennies for the hike and light boots for the climb

8/28 - day 24 - jensen's ridge w/ oleg - ain't climbed w/ that slavic soul in too long and it was a fine day - hot to be sure, but very breezy so i barely noticed i was dying of heat stroke until i went the whole day w/o pissing the oak's encroaching on the route at several places on pitch 3 and i don't know what the fuck to do about it as i hate that shit and have no tolerance for messing w/ it - all the work phuzzy-adam did 2 years ago seemed to just piss it off as its growing back something fiece still a great route and no evidence of anyone climbing it this year - never can figure why so many hardmen crush the other beacon classics but never tangle w/ it...

fuck, that feller must have the devil's own time trying to pick his nose

8/25 - day 23 - lap 9 - a scorcher today - 104 read the car after rudely parking it in the sun - some union bidness dispensed with n' a stint of classroom setup sussed out, i wandered out gorge-ways after 3 - dallied around the dock for an hour or so swimming out to the island n' bantering w/ the fishermen who were bringing in the bass with perfect regularity and had some fine tales to tell- ranger-boi came by w/ some fancy high-powered options, i oughta keep that in mind next time i'm jerking off in the bushes up on grassy ledges topped out to the strange site of some kids rapping off the south side summit, strung out in the trees above grassy ledges looking a little uncertain of the future - reckon they'd get themselves sorted out well enough, so sent them my salutations n' shuffled on summer's done sprung a leak and's taking on water something fearful, i would not wager a fucking groat on its continuing good health

this here little butterfly's been flapping his wings for a long time

fuck america, somebody needs to make spray great again

8/24 - day 22 - lap 8 - hat trick - good day - swimming in battle ground lake w/ the dog n' family - freshwater jellyfish, holy shit, who'da thunk it? union social n' some lightweight boozing, then out to beacon - felt abit groggy on arrival and jumped in the columbia in the 90 degree heat to cool off - arrived in the parking lot to ranger questions - apparantly some dickmunch drove off with the picnic bench jim in the lot too, said ole'bill n' ujohn were up high on the corner so i scooted off to see if i could catch them - took uprising and ran into the boys just at the railing - bill invited the gang for drinks at the skamania lodge n' we drank brown ale n' ate nachos n' nattered about an impeding return to tower

8/23 - day 21 - lap 7 - 2 days in a row w/ beautiful ladies at the crag, the stars must be aligning something fierce, i'm almost scared to go back out tomorrow ranger at the base, never a good sign - the mayor up high tending the sheep - some good talk, some grim - shit, the summer's damn near dead...

think i'll just take it to the next level and start wearing a go-pro at all times

8/22 - day 20 - lap 6 - spent a day lying wounded on the couch nursing my cranky hip after a lengthy tower rock trip, then up today to do the gym-thang w/ the wife, then a chiro visit, then a wander out east - cool and breezy on the south side - a party of 3 on the corner - the 2 dudes from vegas win the "beacon rock hero of the day" award for bringing their very cute girlfriend out - beautiful ebony skin and didn't look a day over 19 n' 1/2 - can't say i've ever seen someone so lovely on our dreary, drab old stone...

8/18-20 - trip the tenth - a little more than a year into this lithographic yawp, geoff n' i trundled north with a wagonful of liquor that woulda made winston churchill smile - Big Heat coming on the bottom lands, so to the hills made a sorta sense, even if it was just to hump loads of shit all over the place n' sweat like homos in hot-dog eating contests a fine trip really - wrote a great big old piece on it actually with lovely alliteration and meaningful metaphors but then the cc.com overlords took it all away in a mouse fart n' nearly put me off my meds - sigh...writing, especially senseless writing about one's self, really is a practical lesson in buddhism, no? had to decide to retrench w/ something only a little short of a haiku... the long n' short of it was we spent a day recovering most of the fixed lines that had been swinging in the breeze for the past 4 seasons, then humped it up the short, punished road and spent 2 days putting in more pitches - had a grand time guzzling beers n' waxing philosophic n' sucking straight out of the rapidly dwindling keg of crazy life reckon only 3 more work days n' we'll be ready to check out of rehab the only way out of rehab fine views through them thare padded walls putting the finishing touches on the pitch - boulder fields only a 1000 feet down there holy shit, why didn't bill and i realize we could spent that long rainy day in his car in here instead?!? songs from the trip i'll have a hard time getting out of my head for a while: "it's been rough and rocky traveling but i'm finally standing upright with my feet on the ground - after taking several readings i'm surprised to find my mind is fairly sound" [video:youtube] "twisted angel, cast out of some strange heaven, sent down here to pull me out of my shell - you show up on my doorstep, honey dripping from your mouth, like some slack jaw Jezebel" [video:youtube] "bright lights, put me in a trance, but it ain't house music that makes me want to dance" [video:youtube]

did the hillary delete all the mountie pix firfuksakes?

keep chopping, goode oughta fall eventually

it'd be more than that, but at any rate it'd continue up the line hidden treats begins so i'd imagine it'd share the name at any rate...

8/15 - day 19 - lap 5 - hawt, hawt day - did a lap, then grabbed a snorkel n' swam around the river for a good long while - don't think i've ever felt my arms quite that wasted after a solo day at beacon

lovely - remember trying to do that in a day once many moons ago and get mighty unmotivated after we hit the upper dome

8/12-13 - days 17-18 - the plan was partake of the perseids and plenty of beer on the ledge, maybe do a night lap, then finagle maybe a new route off the top - temps in the mid-90s on the drive in, sweltering in my ac-broken car - drove in endless circles trying to discover the exact location of adam's rebel base where i was to rendezvous w/ my crack team of geoff n' bryan eventually it all worked out and we walked up the painfully hot trail, weltering in sweat - once on the ledge the lack of breeze didn't offer much comfort as we lay around, damp as dogs, re-evaluating our recent decisions bryan and i went on to climb the corner, setting off from the ground just at the last light left the sky - an uneventful and rapid ascent and then it was the rest of a long evening spent counting falling stars, drinking 3 different kinds of beer n' pinot noir to boot, gut-laughing and bullshit'n by 9 a.m. the next morning it was absolutely sweltering and all willingness to scrub n' cut n' mank our way up the sun-blasted wall had wasted away in favor of a far more ambitious plan, ambling off and away over to the tepid columbia to swim like porpoises in the sweet water - we even managed to enlist old adam, who clearly had done this shit already - good times ensued over an afternoon that clearly demonstrated how our ancient mammalian cousins evolved and returned to the ocean to despatch their terrestrial ruinations

8/11 - day 16, lap 4 - not so breezy at beacon today - hot n' humid, even after the shade had set in - gabbed w/ jimbo for a while - the gnome king remains in the witness protection program - ran up the corner, feeling a good bit better than yesterday - brought some clippers n' did some community-service cutting out all the clutter on hidden treats and uprising - gavreeted w/ some good folks n' gamboled on back home to set up shop in a dark field w/ the kids n' watch the pulsing perseids

crack is so new jack city olde - only The Donald can Make Crack Great Again

that's...like... kinda cool

8/10 - day XV - lap III - leisurely breakfast w/ the kids and some midsummer school work dispensed with, hit the chiropractor to crack the old back n' suck the thetans outta me, then cruised out to beacon in the afternoon heat - warm n' windy in the park - the busted glass of geoff's smashed window all tidied up - just one couple gearing up n' ready to blast off as i started up the corner - felt like a slow old man, stopping to have a good lie down every few pitches n' gaze out at the much older man, the half moon hanging in the sky - the perseids tonight too - the free tv overhead never failing to fling something at you looks like the gnome-king done got evicted - wonder where that wierd mutherfukka got to?

8/7 - day 14 - little wing n' jill's thrill just right to humiliate our friend n' humble narrator after a week family camping in the olympics, sucking down sausauges n' swill - swimming across lake quinualt some species of training i suppose... thought ole'geoff was fixing to stand me up at the b.k. - read some n' tried not to feel like i was gonna barf up me breakfast - settled for just doing some soloing after a half hour rambled on by - went to fetch some of the regular old poisons out of the roadhouse first n' then pulled out n' headed east when i saw the big-G galloping up in his toy-yoya n' said sure, why not? bit stormy out at beacon today, but nothing serious n' kept the crowds down a bit i bet geoff did the real work so i wussed out and did the easier pitches but still fumbled n' fucked them up, conniving to cut me hand up in the bargain and bled like a little bitch all over the place the Gnome King at grassy ledges, seemingly moved in for the season n' hogging all the space, his ride recently jacked by the Man n' him all "fukit, keepit" in response - a rare hero that'un steve n' lisa all about too - we followed them down the raps n' rambled on over to the other side to see about the minotaur, who happily had left his labyrinth - ascended through threatening storm n' had a real satisfying time of it rude reality back in the parking lot - some crackhead kraker chucked a big old stone through geoff's window n' did a quick once-over through its interior - pleasingly the car-alarm seemed to have brought the bitch out of the pussies and they fled before grabbing anything actually - guess it gives our boy an excuse to finally replace the broken windshield too... the summer's setting quick - hope to get another tower trip or two in before it's time to slummit back to work...

...'cuz 1 ain't enough http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/08/05/488846748/david-huddleston-who-played-the-real-mr-lebowski-dies