ivan

anybody want to get out for a quick fix the first day of the year tomorrow?

quick lap in the morning? oughta be frossssty

hard to take pictures at night they ain't got a google translator for kid-speak? if you speak swahili, try this version? holyfuck, tr inaugral kwa jukwaa cuntly-Columbia korongo!?? kevboner got me katika njia ya haki mode kutomba nyuma hii majira ya joto, kurudi kutoka yosylum kama nimepata bahati ya kupata mwenyewe baadhi ya idadi ya misimu katika mstari - incessant inanity na ufahamu maana-spirited juu ya tukio la majira- kufungua, mimi nyuma katika hali blissed-nje ya granite furaha-tu kama beacon-wand kuufungua - ni njia bora ya kutumia yake-takatifu thread kisha journal ya mwaka mzima katika yametukia kila ziara ya, hopefully walimvua tupu banality, ya bora-maana lakini jesus-kutomba mbaya sadaka ya uchunguzi ya kila siku? (Usijali, i pamoja nao katika viambatisho chini) lakini kwa juu-ni-Knob-, i zabuni tr yangu ya mwisho wa mwaka kama msingi huu usajili anastahili-! 2012/12/28 - hakuna shaka dalliance yangu ya mwisho w / wand Bacon kwa mbili-moja-wanapaswa-kumi - Dance yangu 34 ya Dullards katika siku ya sasa - msimu wa Krismasi cunts furaha, anga dim kunjana kuendelea manyunyu ya mvua tepid-katika pande zote - fuckall kwa ligi 5-100, ndondi dira bitchy ... usiku wa kufungwa faini, wazi sasa katika mawingu haraka-wakipanda ya usingizi pombe saa 330 asubuhi, kufungia-ukungu nje kufunika shetani nyekundu-katika shrouds kupendeza ya mithril, mimi manyoya-ilipo na clattering juu mbali ya kurekodi yote, umezungukwa na paka feral kambini katika sebule yangu, infelicitous felines ... siku dawning juu ya BofA, mtoto mdogo kukohoa nje sauti oddest ya croup - alasiri na jioni alitumia kuwasilisha Scouts Msichana kwa mcminville kwa cavortions majini mike ni katika camas vizuri baada ya 9, mwezi ilibuni nyuma ya wingu nyembamba, zisizotarajiwa nguvu upepo kutoka mashariki - zulizuli - matarajio - hofu na lotions? kujifunga n 'kufukuza katika wigo muda mfupi hapo juu kumi na moja - kubwa rack, kubwa kwa viwango vya solo, mimi safi kutoka kwa hofu ya Apocalypse vikaharibika Mayan tu wiki kabla - cliff lote tu kama greasy basi kama msichana alikuwa na tamaa hosed ni wote katika ky jelly- usiku wa leo ilikuwa haki tu - mawingu kutosha kutumikia nchi kama blanketi tamu, kuzuia kushuka kikatili ndani ya Arctic temps-, lakini sio sana kama ya kuzuia full-moon kuangaza chini kwenye hafla wengi (ingawa kila dakika chache uzito mkubwa wa mwanga sagging nje ya eneo, mamalia headlamp-chini ya ghafla kushuka ndani ya giza karibu-jumla, kuokolewa tu kwa blink wa bwawa Bonneville) kavu ambapo kavu, barafu ambapo uchafu, na hadi sisi akaenda w / o tukio i hofu kwa wale ambao dhana ugoro-porn kabla ya adhuhuri - kati ya ajabu mimi itabidi kukiri kwa ajili ya safari hiyo - hakuna picha bila kufanya, hivyo kusikitisha - kubwa mwezi -mbwa circling ghostly-orb, waliojitenga nasi na ila konzi ya maji-molekuli kuikopesha mikono - breeze ngumu, lakini si hivyo kutisha kama tumekuwa na uzoefu katika siku-wamekwenda-na katika siku mchafu wa kichaka marehemu -utawala .... kuacha katika utulivu wa high-uchaguzi kwa ajili ya kuambukizwa (LEGAL!!) ya kupumua juu ya njia ya chini, Kuweka Ni zote Sawa hivyo muhimu katika juhudi jogoo-eyed kama hii - gear kuchagua - mwaka mzima wa jesus-kutomba-hii-carabiner-ni-yangu kuigiza iligawanywa - moto toddies n 'sira ya tumbaku, bisbis n' chupa ya burgundy katika gari kwa bending mabaya ya nafasi ya kufuata camas mahali fulani baada ya wawili - kufikia tayari-wamesahau kutoka hapo - maneno iligawanywa, usiku ni kufa - Nina mbali na kitanda!

he ain't gone nowhere, nor his trick-bitches wit'em

woulda been so much kewler to have built the mother-of-all-bonfires on the slumit, cooked some dogs on it, then set up a deli-stand for the flocking tourons

a seasonal banality of course, but one must observe the forms - what were your top 5 climbs/trips/memories of the year? my thoroughly unhumble selection 1. yosemite w/ geoff n' mike n' tvash ( lurking fear, royal arches, daff dome, leaning tower ) 2. zion w/ geoff ( space shot n' touchstone wall ) 3. dragontail w/ da phuzzy ( gerber/sink not all that awesome, but a solid gut-laugh of a trip ) 4. smiff in spring w/ bob n' da phuzzy (serious mind-bending substances combined w/ a day of wandering like demented lizards around the marsupials, bouldering n' sport-wanking before hauling a serious party setup up to the natural fortress by the cave route - howling at the moon w/ a Big Head n' bigger bonfire all night, then birds in a rut in the morning) 5. wolf rock w/ beaconben ( barad dur n' whatnot )

keep writign tr's like this and i will finally have to make the trek

take flotation - mega deep currently - couldn't begin to reach i-rock yday

nice - saw you as you cruised on by - us bi-peds had to be content to smoke cigs and kevetch at the top of the palmer before descending to get a decent drunk on

after 3 weeks of bastard-wedder, everyone's getting sum bacon!

i figured the flock's tempting the sealion to eat one of them so the rest of bastards can make snacks of their buddy's crumbs

awwww, but some of my best friends are metros! they usually have the best cameras, tents, ropes n' drugs, and are more than happy to drive - i'd be happy to be one if only i wasn't...

i've been called many things, but never a metrosexual - a quick glimpse at my ride, my clothes, my manners and my life will explain why

was up there this morning - the snow conditions are horrid for bipeds currently - super deep n' unconsolidated - folks bailing all over just a little bit above the top of the lift - if you go, take skis as snowshoes weren't that much of an improvement!

but how does canada have less of a gun culture then us?

We watch the same movies in Canada, we watch the same TV shows in Canada, we play the same video games in Canada. Hell, a sizeable proportion of those movies and TV shows and video games are written and/or produced by Canadians, in Canada. And yet, despite spending our entire lives wallowing in exactly the same "culture" as our American brethren, we're no-where near as likely to kill one another. Guns, knives, baseball bats, hockey sticks, you name it, we just don't take up weapons against one another with anything approaching the enthusiasm of Americans. If the popular culture is responsible for the mayhem, then why isn't the mayhem rate just as high on this side of the border as on your side? Clearly there's something else going on: the "guns don't kill people - video games kill people" argument is BS. what are the basic gun law differences between our two nations? my understanding was that there's not too much?

everyone knows there's a Natural Mellowing Agent in maple syrup...

dunno what you're on about, ole'boy, i'm fully in touch w/ my feminine self ('specially most mornings in the shower ) n' transmit nothing but blissful bi-sexual love for all in my immaculately conceived posts... it's you coarse bastards done run off the quality!

AKA girlclimber

again, the conversation de jour ain't about changing violent human nature, it's about trying to take said nature into account when creating law so as to limit the carnage. many of the things you list there matt weren't the product of individual loonies, but were madness on a grand scale, which is a different kettle of fish - huge crowds wanting to burn n' lynch are of course going to do more damage, but the 8th amendment's done a good bit to make that nasty manifestation disappear.

i thought the vast majority of 2nd amendment supporters were all about the fun of target shooting? who am i or you to tell old boys they ought not be able to fire up cut-out figures of the obama-llama, so long as they don't take steps to realize the fantasy? is it wrong to daydream of killing all the dipshits you're surrounded by on a daily basis so long as it stays just that, a dream? fucksakes, who can control their dreams anyway? 99.99% of folks play "grand theft auto" and watch "the godfather" and don't go gunning down their whole school - those who do go ape-shit and do shoot a shitload of folks don't all spend their time in front of their xbox either - your connection between the two things is mighty tenuous (and you miss my earlier point entirely, we've always been immersed in a culture that glorified violence and prized him that could wreck the most havoc) - the connection between mass-shootings and modern weaponry however is pretty damn clear. in the perfect world, all constitutional problems aside, which do you think would better reduce gun violence: a return to 1791 personal artillery or a giant government agency to provide oversight and ensure that all american media be disney-ified?

i've always thought this argument particularly silly - for christ's sake, my beloved beowulf, the first work of the english language, more than a millenium old, is drenched in blood and battle - the fucking bible is filled w/ violent filth - early americans murdered natives by the boatload - our recent ancestors broke people on racks and burned their enemies in big public galas - humans today are not so different form the past, filled w/ ugliness as well as beauty - what's changed is our ability to project both of those qualities upon the world. besides, as a fervent anti-communist, aren't you incredibly suspicious of any government intentionally setting out to change human nature? of a 'great leap forward' orchestrated by politicians? seems to me gov's job isn't to change people so much as to find ways for them all to get along w/ a minimum of disaster and a max of happiness...

calling dawg, paging dr dawg...

Trip: Bacon Wand - - The All Hallowed South-East Corner Date: 12/28/2012 Trip Report: holyfuck, the inaugral tr for the cuntly-columbia gorge forum?!? kevboner got me in the right mode way the fuck back this summer, returning from yosylum as i've had the good fortune to find myself some number of seasons in a row - incessant inanity and mean-spirited insights on the occasion of the summer-opening, me back in a blissed-out state of granite-joy just as the beacon-wand opens - what better way to use his holy-thread then a year-long journal in each visit's happenings, hopefully stripped bare of banality, of the best-meaning but jesus-fuck worst offerings of daily observations? (don't worry, i include them in the appendices below ) but to top-it-the-knob, i tender my final tr of the year as a basis for this worthy-registration! 12/28/2012 - no doubt my last dalliance w/ the bacon wand for two-single-ought-twelve - my 34th Dance of the Dullards in the days of now - a christmas season of cunts-delight, the dim skies and dismal continuous showers of tepid-rain in all directions - fuckall for five-hundred leagues, boxing the bitchy compass... a night of fine closure, clear now in the fast-ascending clouds of alcoholic stupor at 330 in the morning, a freeze-fog outside covering the red-devil in delightful shrouds of mithril, me fur-clad and clattering on a laptop to record it all, surrounded by feral cats camped out in my living room, infelicitous felines... the day dawning on the bofa, the youngest child coughing out the oddest sounds of croup - the afternoon and evening spent conveying Girl Scouts to mcminville for aquatic cavortions mike's at camas well after 9, the moon cloistered behind thin cloud, an unexpected strong wind from the east - giddiness - expectations - fear and lotions? girded n' casting out at the base shortly afore eleven - big rack, big by solo standards, me fresh from the fear of the ruined mayan apocalypse just a week before - the whole cliff just as greasy then as if a greedy girl had hosed it all in ky-jelly tonight was just right - enough clouds to serve the earth as sweet blanket, preventing the brutal descent into arctic-temps, but not so much as to prevent the full-moon shining down on most occasions (though every few minutes the great weight of light sagging out of the scene, the headlamp-less mammal's sudden descent into near-total dark, saved only by the blink of the bonneville dam) dry where dry, ice where damp, and up we went w/o incident i fear for those who fancy snuff-porn before noon - a strange medium i'll confess for such a trip - no pictures would do, so sad - huge moon-dogs circling the ghostly-orb, separated from us by but a handful of water-molecules holding-hands - a stiff breeze, but not so awful as we've experienced in days-gone-by in the foul days of the late bush-administration.... a stop in the calm of the high-trail for the (LEGAL!!!) catching of the breathe on the way down, the Setting It All Straight so critical in cock-eyed endeavors such as this - gear sorting - a whole year of jesus-fuck-this-carabiner-is-mine drama dispensed with - hot toddies n' the dregs of the tobacco, a screw-driver n' a bottle of burgundy in the car for the dismal bending of space to follow camas somewhere after two - an already-forgotten reach from there - the words dispensed with, the night is dying - i'm off to bed! ----------------- a tradition i'd hope to hold to so long as most my teeth are still set firm in my fleshy skull - my various collections of vignettes from the beacon rock climbing season of 2012! Gear Notes: Big Head Approach Notes: out 14, back 14

12/28 - dal'right, come hell or high-water i'll wager that was my last bid of the year - 34 days dancing on the bacon-wand will have to do for two-single-ought-twelve (weeeeelllll, starting w/ the legal season since febuary i figure....) - a frosty-frosty lap w/ the good miker, roughly 3 hours commencing a mouse-fart afore midnight - might have to make a formal tr of it to set the thing straight?