Dwayner

And a Special Cameo appearance by His Lou-ness!!! "Looks like The Mountain is really showing off today! Never turn your back on ole Rain-Dawg!"

STARTLING PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF!!! SIR TOM DURING THE "CAMP MUIR INCIDENT": "5.11b, heck yah! Dudes, you shoulda seen me dyno for the mono-doight. It was a totally sick sloper-fest....hey, which one of you wankers burned a hole in my sleeping bag." SEVERAL MONTHS LATER, AFTER A BIT OF RELAXATION AND CONTEMPLATION: "Nuryev or Barishnokov? I think both were over-rated...would someone PLEASE pass me another one of those yummy canapé's!...last I heard from Brian Boitano, he was thinking about doing The Nose in a day, hopping on a luxurious jet to the Cascades, and then soloing Liberty Ridge...some sort of nouveau-style, tao-ish, rock vs. ice enchainment...poetic yet much too obvious...Chardonnay?...now will that really go well with our next topic, Mr. Christopher Sharma?" [ 08-28-2002, 10:53 AM: Message edited by: Dwayner ]

Everybody's who's anybody is gonna be there and we're gonna find out who's somebody by taking note who's there. THERE WILL BE SEVERAL GUEST APPEARANCES AND SPECIAL TREATS!!! Ladies get in free! And tonight only, sport-climbers will be eligible for a complimentary high-colonic in the back of pope's SUV! At the Swiss Tavern c. 7 PM or so. Those who have been to the Pube Club in Tacoma before, are well aware of the city's charm, hospitality and alpine excellence as the gateway to Mighty Tahoma, for which it is named. "The Swiss" is an excellent venue due to it's easy on/off freeway access (easier than removing your sweaty rainbow sport-climbing lycra body suit) and its nice selection of adult beverages. So drag yourselves to Tacoma and find out why it's called "The City of Destiny". Here be the directions: "The Swiss", 1904 S. Yakima Directions coming south on I-5: Take Tacoma City Center Exit, #133 This will take you on a little freeway veering right known as 705 N. Get left and take the S. 21st Street exit. Go through lights and cross Pacific. Go hill on 21st a couple or few blocks until Jefferson. Make a right on Jefferson. The Swiss is just about a block ahead on the left at the corner of Jefferson and 19th. It's really easy to get back to I-5 for the return to Seattlewards. Down Jefferson, left on 21st S., and the big signs will point you in the right direction. You kids comin' from parts south...I know you can figure it out!

Who? That camel recipe's been around for ages. I worked for a long time in the Middle East (mostly Egypt) and used to go to the camel market occasionally to admire the sight of many hundreds of camels who had been marched up for weeks from the Sudan. Some collapsed when they reached Cairo and there were piles of smoldering caracasses laying here and there (apparently they tried to burn them in place). You can also see their bleached bones out in the desert near some of the caravan routes. The camel herders are really wild lookin' buggers, with frizzed out kinky hair and curved knives strapped to their arms...you don't want to mess with them. The meat of the big camels is usually pretty tough so they use them as beasts 'o burden and such...but the real young ones, the baby camels...go for a high price because they're extra tender and tasty. Never eaten one of them small ones.

"How about some luxurious aid climbing?"

"Luxurious women of all sorts can be found at Dwayner's house, isn't that right, Dwayner!" That's right, funny lookin' guy whose picture I've been plastering into my messages!

I's knows what's I wanna do! I wanna show up to Index on Wednesday and watch Petey Puget climb!

No. Maybe Trask has an opinion. "Can I have an itty-bitty taste of your salad?....mmmmm! Is that feta cheese?"

P.P.: I'll make it simple for you as you don't seem to be familiar with the terminology. There is a distinction between thought (which belongs in the realm of the ideational) vs. a physical action performed by a physical entity in the physical world.

"Can I bring some of my luxurious friends?" YES YOU CAN!!!

P.P. says: "To judge how or what someone elses experience should/will be is simply the act of a real rock nazi." Baloney. Judging (an opinion - ideational) vs. acting? (phenomenological)? Apples and oranges, Sparky! To deny someone's right to judge whatever is to be a thought-cop. I'm full of ideals and opinions, although I don't think I'd reasonably fall into the category of "rock-nazi" until I reached the point where I was physically blockading sport routes or yanking power drills out of the hands of grid-bolters. Ain't that right, pope!

Here's an outdoor recipe that's sure to please! Stuffed Camel 1 whole camel, medium size 1 whole lamb, large size 20 whole chickens, medium size 60 eggs 12 kilos rice 2 kilos pine nuts 2 kilos almonds 1 kilo pistachio nuts 110 gallons water 5 pounds black pepper Salt to taste Skin, trim and clean camel (once you get over the hump), lamb and chicken. Boil until tender. Cook rice until fluffy. Fry nuts until brown and mix with rice. Hard boil eggs and peel. Stuff cooked chickens with hard boiled eggs and rice. Stuff the cooked lamb with stuffed chickens. Add more rice. Stuff the camel with the stuffed lamb and add rest of rice. Broil over large charcoal pit until brown. Spread any remaining rice on large tray and place camel on top of rice. Decorate with boiled eggs and nuts. Serves friendly crowd of 80-100. The beauty of the whole thing is that you don't have to carry it in to the mountains because it walks on its own. It will also carry your pack, at least on the way in! If it's a female, you can milk her a few times before she becomes real food. Getting rid of the bones is a pain in the butt..they're big and heavy but I suppose if you're discrete, the rangers will never know. Myself...If I'm up at Camp Muir, I usually toss them in a convenient crevasse (after dark) or if in the woods, I put them where bears will do the job. - Dwayner

Apologies to the lovely Michelle...I see you are up in Squamish...no competition...hope you'll visit us down here soon. Caveman...you're welcome anytime with or without your buddy Fred...we've always enjoyed your humor and funny antics. aloha, Dwayner

"Hey, kids! Have fun in Squamish! Hi Captain Cave-person! Will you be coming to Tacoma with handsome Fred B.? I've written a poem I'd like to share with him!"

[ 08-26-2002, 12:13 PM: Message edited by: Dwayner ]

"Dwayner's going to be doing his naked Swedish-style sauna dance? OH..MY..GOODNESS!!!! I HAVE heard about that! It is supposed to be SO good!!! I hear he does a splendid temps lié sur les pointes and has LOADS of sassy attitude!!! Fantabulous!!! Erik...I'll pass on the beer, thank you, a glass of sherry will do for my tender tummy."

"How about a lovely guide to pastry shops, cheese emporiums, latté stands, etc. near climbing areas? I would, for example, like to know where I can find a tantalizing, sport-empowering salad bar near Exit 38! Surely there is a market (no pun intended) for such a delectable volume!"

Ya, Brother Dru....like we really need another climbing guide book! . (And you can bet the advance on any climbing guide book would suck large...that is, if you get an advance.) - Dwayner, who writes books and knows something about "the money" they pay.

"Duzzn't he knoiw that you're supposed to eat food with a LOST ARROW to show you're a hardman?" Oooohhh! A "Lost Arrow"! Shades of Longfellow!! Everybody step back....I feel a spontaneous, luxurious haiku breaking forth... Sorry, people! It was just gas!

Erik, Mountain Goat....right on! I was fully anticipatin' "the 'bone" to chime in with some knee-jerk nonsense about them folks being "hassled by the pigs".

Yessss! I think I'd like a just a yummy small salad, a slice of that gorgeous brie and an enchanting goblet of Chardonnay, please. And by the way, I just ADORE the floral arrangments!

Check out this guy with his presentation live from the Big Wall!. Hardman Blazo Rocks!!! Helter Skelter P.S.....no, it ain't Alpine Kitty or Yattah!

HUNGRY?? What's For Lunch??? [ 08-22-2002, 01:05 PM: Message edited by: Dwayner ]

Never heard of these Phish guys and after reading the above, I ain't interested. If someone ever gave me free tickets, I would pay The 'bone to take them away from me. But I did a little research, however, and found a picture of them in action: Looks exciting!

"Great thing about old age is I don't have any pretense of flashing them so routes I put off because I didn't want to taint them in the 80's are now up for grabs. "