MysticNacho

n98947's trip report: Drove to Mt. Hood. Never broke the speed limit, because I am an upstanding citizen. Realized as I was driving over the rockies maybe I should be climbing there instead, but they looked scary, and everyone and their mother climbs Mount Hood, and I like to follow the crowd. I was making the trip in honor of our national hero, the greatest president on the whole entire continental planet Earth, George "da man" W Bush! His words of wisdom inspired me to make the trip, as we were trying to "put the pitbull on the pantleg of oppurtunity" and "make the pie higher!" We arrived at Timberline after only seven days of driving, getting lost, and wandering around mightily frightened of the real world. Above Timberline, we were VERY surprised to find liberals climbing the mountain.... I had thought that they couldn't afford to go climbing. Typical, out climbing instead of getting a real job and striking it rich in this great country of America! We met Dan - and his dog, who was busying himself hooting and yelling while walking up the mountain in sandals. We passed him thankfully, whereupon he threatened us, but luckily I was packin' my second amendment on my pack strap and showed him a little "what's up" Chicago style. After spending a half hour of hiking, we wished we could have taken the ski lift as this was a lot of work and Mt. Hood seems to be a lot bigger than those hills we have in Chicago. I sucked up my patriotic pride, remembered the words of my president, and kept going though. We bivyed in a snow cave at the top of the chair lift, and seeing as we had already made great progress, I exchanged some patriotic banter with some passerbys lest they think I was unpatriotic, and reminded them that even if they wanted to make laws in their state, George W. and John Ashcroft know whats best for them. To sum up, we summited after a strenuous 4 days of effort and hiking. Everyone seemed to be moving faster than me, somehow, but it doesn't matter because they probably weren't as American as me. After summiting I fired my gun into the air, and sung "God bless America" ten times over. I left a copy of the constitution at the summit, just in case anyone forgot that they lived in America.

Nice photos, sucks about the car.

I bought a forest pass last year. I will not renew it when it expires next month. So, I've heard conflicting reports: if and when I get a ticket, do I have to pay? I've heard the FS has no power of collection, and I've heard that they do. I'd like to hang the tickets on my wall, or trade them like baseball cards, etc. but I don't want the "man" knocking down my door either.

Here's the link that J-B was actually trying to give: How to climb Everest

What are the splits? Let's pick it apart. I think Lahkpa means "tuesday."

Dru, you're a genius.

How many times has Wickwire tried it now? That sucks. And another thing, I've noticed that even with upteenbillion teams trying the mountain this year, I havne't heard of any accidents. Is it possible?

Top rope a route on it. If your partner starts taking too long, set the rope on fire. That'll get 'em going.

Cams are for sissies. I like to put big knots in slings, and then wedge them in. Bomber!

Howzabout an Index bbq?

!??! Trask is going climbing!?!?! Right on!

Clearly you were incompetent at Donkey Kong Jr. as well. I am incompetent at Donkey Kong Jr. Whatchoo talking 'bout, Willis?

I had a guy yell at me in traffic today as I cut him off. That is as close as I can come.

Practicing aid climbing a couple years ago on a bolt ladder in the gymnasium at PLU. For some reason, we had the middle of the rope attached to the rafters, and for some reason, I was rapelling on it. Only one of the ends touched the ground, and I carefully picked the correct strand and started to rappel. Halfway down, I realize I somehow picked the rope that didn't touch the ground just in time to watch the end go through the atc. I instinctively grab the line that does touch the ground with my other hand, and proceed to take the express way to the deck. No injuries except my pride and some ropeburn on the hand.

Lets hear some more nasty details about the north face. TR's, failed attempts, "I had a bad dream about the NF" etc.

What are you saying, conservatives sleep in?

uh oh, 48%....

You could always just aid some cleanish easy crack somewhere.

a) we started looking for bin Laden 19 months ago, not 24 b) we invaded Iraq 8 weeks ago, not 2. c) in an earlier post, you mentioned 4000 popups. I counted 7 from 6 pages perhaps you wouldn't come off as such an idiot if you got your numbers right. you're about as credible as your hero boy, shrub. you expect them to find the weapons while they are fighting a war?!?!!? what do they just say "hey stop shooting at us!?!? we have to search your country for illegal weapons!"? i think not...and the U.S. has been looking for bin laden much much much longer than that... read up kiddo... I thought you were against Clinton's firing of cruise missles in his attempt to get rid of Saddam. Was that a transgression? Sounded like it. And remind me, since "I don't read" and I'm just an ignorant liberal, what were Clinton's transgressions in Kosovo? Just freakin' answer the question. Question -> Answer.

Ice Floss comes in 60m lengths? No kidding. I was looking at the pro-deal sheet, and they are only offering me the 30+m one. Son of a bitch. Alright, pro's and con's of half ropes vs. twin ropes? I'm investing.

Just a thought.... why bother making the ultra thin ropes, such as the Bluewater Ice Floss- only 30-35 meters? (or whatever it is) You'd think most people would want a regular 50 or 60 to cut down on belay time. I'd understand if its a wandering pitch, but if that were the case you could always stop and belay whenever it tickled your fancy.

Ken Westopitnow?

Great Scott! Looks like I'm a sucker, a patsy, a dupe, a fool!

Of course they lied. Didn't anyone else see the switch all of a sudden from WMD to "freeing the Iraqi's"??? Instead of hearing news articles about "the terrible threat we are in from Saddam's weapons" we heard about the terrible plight of the Iraqi people. Don't get me wrong, Saddam needed to go, but since when have we ever cared about the plight of the Iraqi people? If we really cared about them, we wouldn't have betrayed them and left them to be slaughtered in '91.