pope

First of all, tying your slings isn't "hippie-ass shit". It's common sense to have some slings you can tie, even in the quick-draw length. Let's say you've got to bail off a bolted route in the rain. Do you really want to leave an expensive sewn sling or 'biner? Secondly, I've noticed a large number of climbers who attach a quick-draw to almost every piece they place, regardless of whether the route is weaving around, left to right, or whether they've placed pro under an overlap. That's a great way to create rope drag, or worse, your pieces (especially cams) may become destabilized by rope movement. I like to carry more slings than draws. It's amazing how much easier the crux is without a bunch of drag working against your every move. Also, I like most of the rock hippies I meet. They are often less likely to make a mess at the crags in the name of "route development", and most of them seem to respect the idea that wilderness is worth protecting. About the only negative thing I can say is that the stinky beatnik oil is worse than their garlicky B.O., and occasionally the long hair gets me confused when I hike behind them.

quote: Originally posted by Uncle Tricky: Yup, as others have said, Peshastin is open for biz. Got fumigated there early this week. As we were up on the rock, they started spraying the orchard next door. A strong westerly wind coated us with a white, bitter-tasting fungi-herbi-insecticide powder. Probably not too healthy, but it cleared my flea and tick problem right up! Dude, I think you're the victim of the Alkeedas. I heard on the Art Bell show that they've discovered how to atomize Ebola and Anthrax. And down at the gym the other day I was in the shower when I heard a couple of young men speaking in a language I couldn't understand....gastons, dynos, gri-gri.....thought it was French of Italian, and then I heard one of them say, "Dude, I'm going to Peshastin to SEND THE SICKNESS". It makes too much sense now. I should have called the FBI, but at the time, I assumed it was only the jibberish of what Frank Zappa would call "teen-age wind" (aka "sport-speak" in the climbing world). [ 04-11-2002: Message edited by: pope ]

"We poison each day by worrying about the next." -Jacqueline O. "Happiness is a choice." -ex squeeze "I get butterflies the first couple of days on a big wall." -Big Lou "Free is when you don't have to pay for nothing or do nothing." -FZ (from TEEN-AGE WIND)

An old lady in a rest home wheels up to a new, male resident and exclaims, "Super Pussy!" Hard at hearing, the old man asks her to please repeat. "Super Pussy!" says she. He adjusts his hearing aid and ask her to again repeat what she had said. "Sup-per Pus-sy!" she carefully articulates. Finally he resonds, "Oh, I'll have the soup."

quote: Originally posted by max: Hey out of curiousity...Do you know why it was closed? State budget constraints as a result of the initiatives written by Tim "I'm-Not-A-Man".

quote: Originally posted by specialed: Y'all climb with swami belts and EB's too? My harness is stronger than yours. I use 2-inch tubular wrapped twice around and secured with a water knot. I also tie the rope through my chalk-bag strap, which is 1-inch tubular with a bowline. I add commercial leg loops for anything over 5.12b.

quote: Originally posted by Peter Puget: Couldn't a quick and dirty mathematical model be created to solve this sticky problem? Maybe. But when I took the Basic Course in 1985, I noticed the gender ratio in the club was rather skewed, and that a large number of Mountaineers seemed terribly interested in the two or three cute gals taking the course. Based on this observation, I propose the following solution. We hire ten attractive women to hike up to Mounties Buttress and pretend to be interested in climbing. They will then announce that mountaineering seems less exciting then they anticipated, and that they think the boys look more handsome without the goofy helmets and lug-soled boots. Next the ladies will invite the Mounties to come experience the thrill of modern dance... "Oh, and what do you know, we're late for our jazz/tap class in Wenatchee. Maybe you gents would like to give us a lift over there in you school bus." We will see an exodus of unparalleled proportions. Opportunists will be waiting by the bus, offering to purchase backpacks and Gore-tex at a fraction of the retail price. Then they can return the items to REI to recover the cost of hiring the babes.

Just what I thought, Mr. Blight. Go ahead and have a laugh with "the big boys" of Index (I can't imagine that you're older than 15, however). I'm conjuring an image of your peer group and, let's see, in addition to taking cheap and anonymous pop shots at my buddy Dwayner, you're probably into cutting farts and looking at lingerie catalogues. Very juvenile.

Mr. Blight?.....Still waiting......Mr. Blight?

Well said, Dwayner. Mr. Blight: still waiting for that hot-shot resume. Hope you're embarassed for yourself. You should get to know Dwayner better: you'd never say such a thing. So quit talking out of your ass. Channel some of that anger at the Taliban (or the rock rapers). And cut out the caffeine and get yourself screwed (as Big Ben Bowman suggests to a similarly up-tight female). And loosen your shorts. I'd be impressed if you'd out yourself (promise I won't laugh).

Dude, you're slow!

1000!

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Mentioning kilts, I climbed in Leavenworth with one of the Stone Gardens managers yesterday, and as we parted, he gave me a Kilt Lifter (Pike Brewery?). Oh my goodness! I think I know what Heaven will be like!

quote: Originally posted by Blight: How does it feel to be an old, bitter, pathetic "never been"? And what's funny is that you continue to desperately seek acceptance into a tong where you don't belong. When are you going to give it up? You're not fooling anyone. Mr. Blight, I'm confused by these comments of yours. Last time I went to pub club, Dwayner was the life of the party. The only thing he was trying desperately to do is get the gals to stop buying him drinks. He's a witty, entertaining, intelligent guy who has certainly done some climbing. You.......you are just a blight. Also, I notice that you include yourself among the "big boys" of Index. By this may we assume you've found very little success with Slim-Fast, or are you foolish enough to believe you're some kind of Sky Valley stonemaster? Send me your climbing resume (by PM if you wish). I'll let you know whether you are justified in being such a pompous ass. Pope.

quote: Originally posted by Fairweather: I know slamming 'ol Harvey is blasphemy of the highest order within the club, so my flamesuit is now on. You're right. Shame on you. Anybody who would work to prevent a hillbilly like you from driving your smelly redneck-mobile into virgin old growth to terrorize my owls...that man deserves more respect than you seem to be giving him. There is an assumption in Harvey's writing: wilderness will continue to satisfy our desire for beauty and remoteness for generations to come only if we take every precaution to keep it wild. If this is "extreme" environmentalism, I'll have another helping, please. Pope.

quote: Originally posted by Dru: a battered sadwich is a sandwich that leaves its husband and gfoes to the sandwich shelter where other sandwiches take care of it. Sandwich abuse is no joke. When heavy-set climbers sense they have lost control of their ability to push away from the table and say "No!" to that second slice of Black Forest cheese cake (that's Schwarzwalde Kasekuche), they sometimes take it out on the very thing they love: sandwiches. They will occasionally eat the sandwich in the absence of a glass of milk (considered the ultimate insult by sandwiches everywhere). Sometimes the psychological abuse turns physical, such as when a climber neglects to protect a sandwich with the proper Tupper-Ware before shoving it into his rucksack. Sad thing is, there is no support group for battered sandwiches. They can't even talk. We're not sure they can listen either, so what's the point in counseling/group therapy? The only answer to this dilemma is to insist that our heavy alpine brothers get on a nutritional program such as the one prescribed by Daryl. Actually, the Suzanne Sommers diet has worked for just about every fat woman I know....oops, didn't mean to say that. We all cary our weight differently, don't you know!

Here's a TR from Saturday. It's time for short pants and coconut baby oil y'all. quote: Originally posted by pope: Maybe it’s only March, but when Pope and Dwayner do Leavenworth, it begins to look like the Summer of Love all over again. As we parked my rig in the pullout below Castle Rock, Dwayner reached into his pack and produced the craziest shirt I’ve ever seen. It had a collar larger than the one on my pile jacket, and its fabric had been printed with a nude hippie girl pattern. Due to its weave, it had the look of 100% polyester but was actually made of cotton. “Here, put this on. We’s gonna meet some stinky hippie girls,” said Dwayner. As I belayed Dwayner up the first pitch of Canary, I heard what sounded like the hypnotic chanting of head-shaved comet cultists, together with the unmistakable jingle-jangle of somebody keeping rhythm on a tambourine. From my position on the ledge, I couldn’t see the source of this cacophony, but as I reeled in the rope, the noise seemed to grow nearer. Could it be that Dwayner had already lured the veggie eating, crunchy little vixens he’d promised we would meet? No such luck. As Dwayner pulled through the strenuous mantle onto Saber ledge, I noticed he had clipped to his rack a child’s tambourine, decorated with feathers and beads, and inscribed with 1960’s nonsense such as “Flower Power” and "Peace Child". The chanting? That was Dwayner mumbling, “Vishnu, Vishnu, Vishnu weesh you?” Not only did we not meet the hippie girls Dwayner had promised, we only encountered three other parties climbing in Leavenworth (two parties at Castle, one on Givler’s Crack), on a spectacular, sunny weekend that saw Dwayner stripping down to a Speedo and a fleece vest. Imagine climbing in short sleeves with no waiting to get on such classics as Saber, Canary, Midway and (at Givler’s Dome) Timson’s Face. However, we did see no fewer than eight school-bus loads of Mounties at Bruce’s Boulder. Memorable quotes from a spectacular Saturday in Leavenworth: “We wouldn’t even need an Access Fund if climbers would just behave themselves and stop bolting/littering.” --Dwayner “Many of the ‘trad’ climbs weren’t as trad people think they were.” –One of the DDD bolters. “Is that really a drink?” –Barkeep at Duck Boys, in response to Pope ordering a “Harry, Jack and Danny”. “My buddy here could show you a dumpster where a guy got a hummer.” –Pope, explaining to the barkeep what would be included in Dwayner’s nightlife tour of Leavenworth. “The gal in the dumpster kind of looked like you wearing a wig.” –Dwayner, flirting with the bar keep. “Hey, you’ve got great foot-work.” –Horny little boulder hopper trying to hit on a friend’s daughter.

Maybe it’s only March, but when Pope and Dwayner do Leavenworth, it begins to look like the Summer of Love all over again. As we parked my rig in the pullout below Castle Rock, Dwayner reached into his pack and produced the craziest shirt I’ve ever seen. It had a collar larger than the one on my pile jacket, and its fabric had been printed with a nude hippie girl pattern. Due to its weave, it had the look of 100% polyester but was actually made of cotton. “Here, put this on. We’s gonna meet some stinky hippie girls,” said Dwayner. As I belayed Dwayner up the first pitch of Canary, I heard what sounded like the hypnotic chanting of head-shaved comet cultists, together with the unmistakable jingle-jangle of somebody keeping rhythm on a tambourine. From my position on the ledge, I couldn’t see the source of this cacophony, but as I reeled in the rope, the noise seemed to grow nearer. Could it be that Dwayner had already lured the veggie eating, crunchy little vixens he’d promised we would meet? No such luck. As Dwayner pulled through the strenuous mantle onto Saber ledge, I noticed he had clipped to his rack a child’s tambourine, decorated with feathers and beads, and inscribed with 1960’s nonsense such as “Flower Power” and "Peace Child". The chanting? That was Dwayner mumbling, “Vishnu, Vishnu, Vishnu weesh you?” Not only did we not meet the hippie girls Dwayner had promised, we only encountered three other parties climbing in Leavenworth (two parties at Castle, one on Givler’s Crack), on a spectacular, sunny weekend that saw Dwayner stripping down to a Speedo and a fleece vest. Imagine climbing in short sleeves with no waiting to get on such classics as Saber, Canary, Midway and (at Givler’s Dome) Timson’s Face. However, we did see no fewer than eight school-bus loads of Mounties at Bruce’s Boulder. Memorable quotes from a spectacular Saturday in Leavenworth: “We wouldn’t even need an Access Fund if climbers would just behave themselves and stop bolting/littering.” --Dwayner “Many of the ‘trad’ climbs weren’t as trad people think they were.” –One of the DDD bolters. “Is that really a drink?” –Barkeep at Duck Boys, in response to Pope ordering a “Harry, Jack and Danny”. “My buddy here could show you a dumpster where a guy got a hummer.” –Pope, explaining to the barkeep what would be included in Dwayner’s nightlife tour of Leavenworth. “The gal in the dumpster kind of looked like you wearing a wig.” –Dwayner, flirting with the bar keep. “Hey, you’ve got great foot-work.” –Horny little boulder hopper trying to hit on a friend’s daughter.

quote: Originally posted by Retrosaurus: That is exactly the case. If you stem to Sex Party at all then you have not climbed Lingerie. And likewise, the crux is at the start and is very difficult to hang on and place pro well enough to keep yourself off the deck. Lead Lingerie without stemming to the climb left of it and you will have no doubt that it is all of 5.11d. No offense intended, but this sounds really contrived, like bouldering rules applied to a rock climb. I've never done the route and I'm sure it's a fine climb, but a grade should apply to the natural/easiest way to climb a given line. If you climb Givler's crack using only fist jams it's a bitch, and if you climb Karate Crack without the crack it's very difficult. We could put some big numbers on these routes if we attached contrived little restrictions on how they have to be climbed.

"I never trained. To me, training was going up on a wall without a hangover." NPR interview (1997?)

Cowboy coffee is cool. I've got a Zassenhaus grinder that I always bring camping. I dump the ground coffee into a pot of boiled water, let it steep, then pour it through a tea strainer into my cup. The result is identical to French pressed coffee, but the clean-up is minimal and there is no carafe to break. If you grind ahead of time, then "cowboy coffee" requires no special equipment.

Q. How does an attorney commonly react to Viagra? A. He grows taller.