pope

Sat, 06/12/04 Rick Springfield Emerald Queen Casino Fri, 06/25/04 Eddie Money Emerald Queen Casino Fri, 10/15/04 Alice Cooper Emerald Queen Casino Sat, 5/22/04 Christian Griffith Rockfest, Leavenworth

Forgot to mention that Dwayner will be sporting a white, Elvis-style jumpsuit. He's been polishing his karate-inspired dance moves for a performance of "Ain't Nothing But A Hangdog" at Saturday night's weenie roast. Should be easy to find. Just follow your nose to what smells like a treatment facility and that's where the pee-stained "bouldering pad" will be found.

"Rockfest" is here again and like last year, our opinion is that its ultimate goal is to get you excited so you can BUY MORE CRAP!!! In response, we are again providing our alternative event: the Second Annual “Dwayner and Pope's Goodtime Boulderin' Rodeo”. This is how it works: last year me and Dwayner found an old mattress near the railroad tracks by South Tacoma Way in Tacoma. It's got some major pee-stains and a few cigarette burns but otherwise, it will hold a tumble off a boulder like few others. Here it is (the one on top): GOOD NEWS!!! We still have the mattress and even though it spent the entire winter outside and has a few more questionable stains [ you know who you are, Missy! ] On Saturday, look for the mattress strapped to the top of one of our vehicles or pull over to the side of the road when you see the two of us ferrying "the pad" to a new site. We will be setting it up below some of the choicest of bouldering routes in Icicle Canyon. To lessen impact, we are limiting the Rodeo to Gurlz only. There will be a glass pickle jar nearby and we will be charging 50 cents a plop or you can get a punchcard: 3 plops for $5. Sit-starts are encouraged and ladies may bring their boyfriends for an extra-dollar providing the boyz shout classic calls of encouragement....you know, stuff like, "send it!", “allez” and "dyno for the mono-doight!" The money accumulated will go to a good cause: you see, Dwayner and pope are now addicted to microwave burritos known as “The Bomb”. mmmmm! And we've developed a nasty habit. Listen! It's symbiotic....you get some bouldering safety, and we fatten up for mountaineering excellence....everybody wins! Sure beats this nonsense: Other competing events include: Rockfest: Rock shoe demo. Boulderin' Rodeo: They's just wants you to buy new shoes! This is what we're gonna do: Meet us at Bruce's Boulder and we're going to try on each other's shoes. A can of Lysol will be provided. Rockfest: Free climbing/bouldering/gear clinics. Boulderin' Rodeo: ]No need to set up clinics specifically for climbers in Icicle Canyon although perhaps no other group is more worthy. I hear there's a free clinic in Leavenworth or Wenatchee where you can have your curious rashes examined. Rockfest: Bridgecreek group campsite. BBQ, Party Boulderin' Rodeo: Weenie roast at 8-mile CG followed by a new drinking game we invented which is a combination of strip poker and Twister. Rockfest: Outdoor slideshow by Christian Griffith. (Wasn’t Brittany Griffith their speaker last year?? Is this a coincidence??) Boulderin' Rodeo Griffith’s “Manifesto” never really manifested, and that stuff he sells to you don’t work for us. But once again, we’re going to see about getting BIG LOU. We haven't talked to him yet because we're kinda awestruck and nervous. Either way, there will be a guest appearance by Sushi Dog. See you on the crags! - pope ‘n Dwayner

It may take time for the kid to figure it all out. Sounds like he's wrestling with the issue. You tell him to contact me and I'll show the boy how to walk like a man.

What a stud. Too bad he didn't get there first. In retrospect, Watts basically robbed this guy of the first ascent by adding fixed gear, back in a generation when few people understood what was really possible. Ironically, the guys who suggested that we should (in general)save a few challenges for future climbers rather than lower the standard with fixed gear and chipping....those guys were considered "conservative" by those in the sportclimbing camp. Maybe, in the end, Bachar was a visionary. Maybe "back to future" will define the new direction. OH CANADA!

By discussing this story to promote the notion that the environmental movement has no validty. Absurd.

He was at least in college. As opposed to Bush. Who couldn't be bothered to show up for his National Guard commitment. Is Clinton the Nixon for the Democratic party? The bogeyman they drag out to scare little kids? No shit. What's Bush got, combat service and war injuries like his opponent? I think he does not. If I remember correctly he does have a criminal record. Something about driving while blind.

On the other hand, ain't nothing wrong with a fad...provided it opens doors equally to both genders. On my last trip to Squamish I noticed that the majority of folks camping out were there for the bouldering. I recall thinking, "I don't get it." But the other thing I noticed was how many beautiful young females were in camp...I mean, compared to the old days, I don't see how the modern climber/boulder monkey can concentrate on the mountain given all the possibilities for mountin'. Eh?

Bouldering is serious fun, a way to get a little fitness, something to do when you're intimidated by big mountains. I don't think bouldering is lame, I just don't understand the fad. And I think you know what I mean.

I've just been informed that my comments are entirely out of line and to respond to any of your questions will likely result in the rebanning of Pope. I think I'm going back into voluntary retirement again since the degree of lameness around here hasn't diminished by even a proper fraction.

Why don't you just say, "Hey, Jackass: we don't do that around here."? What else does one see at Alphabet Rock? Perhaps a long-standing top-rope problem which has been bolted, given a name ("Hind Quarters") and two stars in Kramar's guide. This is really pathetic. I agree that it's harmful to rap off a tree without slinging it first, but does one dubious practice justify another? Aren't you just looking for ways to justify the unfortunate direction that climbing is going? And now that you bring it up, I've been examining Viktor's Leavenworth guide lately (mostly while sitting on the pot) and I noticed that the Regular Route on Careno Crag has been revised to include the bolts which used to be a (shameful) variation on the first pitch. This is no longer advertised as a variation....IT IS THE REGULAR ROUTE! Furthermore, Viktor gives a controversial route like Condorphamine Wankulation about ten stars! This might be the first guide book I've read that has absoutely zero discussion about ethical considerations in the opening pages. Why? Could it be that there are no ethics in L-town these days? Ol' Viktor's even got a route he put up called "Boltering". I just had to come out of retirement on this one.

I'm out of here too. This time I mean it. Seriously, those who have something valid and/or humorous to add are discouraged from participating. Those who remain are increasingly dull. I have unsuccessfully attempted to persuade those who banned Dwayner to reconsider. I have endured insults, bannings, threats.....and worst of all, tedious and unskilled attempts to justify leaving countless bolt trails on our cliffs. Yes, the writing is on the wall. We now have about 19 moderators (multipled by three avatars each)....that makes nearly 60, which exceeds the number of people participating on a regular basis. Jon and Tim, my advice to you is this: if you want CC.com to return to its greatness, you should allow unrestrained conversation. When that happens, e-mail me and I'll consider returning. Until then, best wishes.

Watch out MattP!

As have the plans for invading Iraq.

"The threat of terrorism will not expire when provisions of the Patriot Act do." This is why we need cameras IN EVERY CORNER OF THE GOD DAMNED COUNTRY so that the activities of terrorists (and perverts, and needle junkies, and pinkos, and atheists) can be monitored. Sure it costs money. But we have a budget (which will cut taxes, provide increased health care, improve education and crack down on performance enhancing drugs in athletics) that has accounted for this expense. America will do whatever it takes.

What? Drilling on Mars? Have we already reached critical mass with the bolting that goes on here? That happened faster than I would have predicted. Mentioning Mars, maybe one of our long-haired readers could help this guy out:

Alpine Buddy, his post (which I quoted) is itself a barb. I was under the impression that this particular column would be cleansed of such juvenile contributions. You should direct your emotions toward the source of the problem.

Genuine, honest, heart-felt objections to the feverish pace of bolt-trail blazing are only considered to be "talking shit" by those who wish to bolt whereever and whenever they wish.

RED ALERT: THERE IS SPRAY IN THE RC COLUMN! PETER?

Anybody think Bush will take California? The conservative talk-radio spray this morning seemed pretty negative on Bush's approach to the illegal immigration situation. Outside of essentially importing cheap labor (which would make a small business owner happy), I'm not sure I understand what Bush has to gain with his approach. Do you think this will earn him a larger fraction of the hispanic vote?

Just what does Lealand do for me? Educate me please.

He's the former husband of an aging pop star. You're bent out of shape. Hmmmm.

He died while abseiling, literally "roping off". He should have been "roping up". Get it?

plunge

Bird isn't as big a hit with the females. And let's face it: climbing magazines is for the females. You want to sell mags, you feature some old, charming mountain climber who might potentially satisfy every little girls "Santa" fantasy.