TR: Horsethief Butte

[KirkW]

After a day of probably too much enjoyment of the fermented fruit of the Columbia River Gorge, which we followed up by a gluttonous meal at the slightly creepy but incredibly cool historic Lyle hotel...

 

 

...my girlfriend and I decided that perhaps a little hike would do right by both of us, and we vowed to search out yet another cool meandering trail in The Gorge.

 

 

Our plans were somewhat stymied by Mother Nature as we awoke to find the normally just simply mildly annoying wind to be blowing harder than a 17 year old prom queen in Vegas just off the bus from Missouri. It looked like she’d been busy all night with trees down and power poles in several places no longer standing plumb.

 

Not wishing to suffer, we opted for Horsethief Butte. It would give me a chance to scope the climbing and we hoped that perhaps the butte itself would offer a bit of shelter.

 

 

 

As we pulled into the parking lot, I was impressed by the fastidious nature of the trail head as well as the meticulously manicured landscape. The next thing that caught my attention was a well constructed shack, which I presumed covered a hole in the ground that the state of Washington deemed appropriate for both men and women (as well as androgynous individuals confined to a wheel chair) to shit in. Still carrying the rib eye from the previous evening, I’m a bit embarrassed to admit to my level of elation at finding such a well constructed place to leave my turd.

 

 

Before we have the car in park I become a bit concerned that the notice affixed to the saw horse blocking entry to the door of the fine throne was full of bad news for me. We both also couldn’t help but notice the large sign bolted to the side of the manufactured shit hole that stated a “Discover” pass was required to tread here.

 

 

Having spent my last ten dollars the previous evening on my now unpleasant source of discomfort, I was unable (or perhaps just unwilling) to afford even the day pass. We slid into the “15 minute parking without a Discover pass” spot and I was left to wonder if this spot was also a “free speech zone” or if that constitutionally protected right was not valid here either.

 

As I approach the blocked doorway, my worst fears are confirmed as I “discover” that this restroom is closed due to budget constraints and that sadly, I can not deposit my burden here.

 

 

Apparently, a couple of dogs couldn’t read the sign and chose to unburden themselves anyway.

 

 

A big thank you to the owners of these fine beasts! They were kind enough to wrap their 4 legged friend’s presents in a clear plastic bag and leave for our viewing pleasure in the exact spot that one would expect to find a trash can.

 

 

Undeterred, or perhaps just disinterested in the dog shit, my girlfriend decides to explore up the trail a bit while I amuse myself by reading the sign board to the right of the resplendent but unusable privy.

 

 

It contains yet another sign that informs me that to visit the butte I would need to pay and gave detailed instructions as to how the state of Washington would like me to give them my money.

 

 

I entertain myself with the camera for a bit as I wait for her to return. She is soon back having seen nothing but more trail consisting of not an insignificant amount of comfy class 3 fill brought in by the state of Washington and the tall grasses that they have hacked a path through.

 

 

Not wanting to risk prosecution for exceeding our constitutionally protected 15 minutes, we hop back into the car and I decide we should go back to the Oregon side so I can shit someplace without having to spend my weekly allowance.

 

As we back out of our parking spot and head towards the exit, we both can’t help but notice the single parking spot painted off near the side that looks large enough to land a 747. I guess some of the smaller motor homes I’ve seen would have fit in there too.

 

With the wind still blowing, we bag any illusions we had of hiking and decide to go to Hood River and get me nice and tanked up for the long ride home. Our plans are derailed again as we arrive in town only to discover that the power is out and the brewery is no longer seating new customers. At this point I decide that perhaps the spirits are trying to tell us something and we head for home.

 

The drive back to Corvallis is long enough for me to have come up with a couple of questions for the state of Washington. I was hoping that perhaps a local could help me out with divining the answers…If I understand it correctly it would seem that the state of WA spent a (pardon the pun) shit ton of money to build a new parking lot at a place that has been visited by untold numbers of people for decades without difficulty? Having spent this money they are now in a financial crisis and institute a program that allows you to “discover” Washington for a one time fee of $30 or you can pay as you go at $10 a trip? The cost of instituting and enforcing this program seems to have bankrupted them to the point that they must regretfully lock the doors to the shitters and remove the garbage cans? I wonder how many bags of dog shit the state of Washington could have disposed of for its citizens if it had not decided to repave a parking lot so that cruise ships and the occasional shipping barge would have a place to dock at Horsethief Butte?

 

Anyway, we ended up having a great time this weekend, despite the efforts of the land use policy makers and I’d highly recommend a weekend wine tasting in The Gorge. Forget the hiking though, unless you’re rich. And don’t even think about going number 2 there. Shit is expensive in Washington.

 

[stevetimetravlr]

Classic "horse"shit TR.

[ivan]

nothing more ironic than an oregonian making fun of your state's retarded tax-structure

 

a year-pass for smith costs 30$ - that much gets you every park in washington

[KirkW]

nothing more ironic than an oregonian making fun of your state's retarded tax-structure

 

a year-pass for smith costs 30$ - that much gets you every park in washington

 

In case you didn't notice the last time you looked at your "smith" pass, that thing is actually a state parks pass and will get you into every park in OR too. Except of course for the ones that require the NW forest pass. Or a snow park pass. Or a concessionaires fee. I certainly don't consider OR system to be much better. I guess Washington decided to opt out of that reciprocity thing with the NW Forest pass and just charge everyone through the ass to take a dump or go for a walk? Or did I miss something?

 

Sorry to offend though...I realize you are a rather thin skinned individual. I should have known better

[PhöQ]

Those might have been baggies of hash disguised as dog poop.

 

[cam yarder]

hash baggies for sure

[ivan]

nothing more ironic than an oregonian making fun of your state's retarded tax-structure

 

a year-pass for smith costs 30$ - that much gets you every park in washington

 

In case you didn't notice the last time you looked at your "smith" pass, that thing is actually a state parks pass and will get you into every park in OR too. Except of course for the ones that require the NW forest pass. Or a snow park pass. Or a concessionaires fee. I certainly don't consider OR system to be much better. I guess Washington decided to opt out of that reciprocity thing with the NW Forest pass and just charge everyone through the ass to take a dump or go for a walk? Or did I miss something?

 

Sorry to offend though...I realize you are a rather thin skinned individual. I should have known better

ha, few would describe me as thin-skinned!

 

naw, come to think of it, i never have bought a smith pass, day or annual come to think of it, so never had cause to examine one closely - i bought the discover pass b/c the beacon rangers give you a ticket w/n seconds of arriving w/o it and i spend much of my summer out there

 

actually, wa state parks were free till last year, when the budget crisis compelled the congress to stop funding the parks and make the patrons do it directly - sucks, but then it makes the fat sendentary types sad-clown when they have to pay for somebody else to have a hike?

[kevbone]

Any climbing pictures?

[Off_White]

They would have had to go climbing for that, and the verbiage makes it obvious that no climbing was done.

 

I think its a valid argument that the pass should not be required if no services are supplied - no garbage and locking the toilet would seem like breach of contract. If you were worried about ticketing, could you park out on the highway and walk in, same as one might do to circumvent the NW Forest Pass?

[kevbone]

They would have had to go climbing for that, and the verbiage makes it obvious that no climbing was done.

 

I very rarely read TR's. Its all about the pictures for me.

[billcoe]

"mildly annoying wind to be blowing harder than a 17 year old prom queen in Vegas just off the bus from Missouri."

 

 

Thanks for that visual Kirk! Well written diatribe!

[B Deleted_Beck]

I think its a valid argument that the pass should not be required if no services are supplied - no garbage and locking the toilet would seem like breach of contract.

 

i called the trout lake ranger to find out what myriad of passes and permits i'd need to climb adams early this fall, and was told there were no fees to climb the mountain, and only a free wilderness pass by way of permit- in her words (the ranger i spoke with), "there are no fees to climb the mountain right now, because the mountain is out of service. we're not cleaning or stocking the bathrooms, not maintaining the trails, not around even to collect the fees if we did charge. just fill out the wilderness pass and put it in the designated slot."

 

so this mindset obviously prevails in some places... it certainly makes sense to me.

[KirkW]

"there are no fees to climb the mountain right now, because the mountain is out of service..."

 

 

Has anyone from the state called the repairman?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[stevetimetravlr]

Did you guys miss the headlines that say that the State of Washington may be closing some or all of its State Parks due to funding? This year the parks were on their own, they were supposed to be raising revenue from their parking passes and camping, etc. In fact they raised far less revenue then was predicted, probably due to the $10 one time parking fee being so expensive, and so closures are coming down the turnpike. Any expenditure I am sure the Head Ranger will have to answer for, so don't look for any improvements anytime soon. In fact, much is at stake and at jepodardy. Here is the Save the Parks facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=68557313304

[KirkW]

I'm sorry Steve but the idea of "closing" a state park (or any public land) just seems laughable to me however I do realize that my incredulous attitude won't stop them from doing just that.

 

Stop offering services and tell users they have to pick up their own trash and dig their own cat hole is fine by me, but "closing" vast tracts of PUBLIC land because the state can no longer afford to maintain it's "improvement"?

 

I have less than no pity for the situation that both the states of WA and OR find themselves in right now. Of course in the end it'll be the general public that suffers for this, and the bill, in the end, will still end up being the responsibility of the taxpayer. As least those shiny pit poopers and nicely manicured trail (heads) will be looking good when the zombies show up to take them over!

[stevetimetravlr]

I imagine that the State will eventually SELL these lands to get them back on the tax roll, and to generate funds from the sale, and to generate more revenue thru things like mining, logging, etc. This is the new reality. Nothing is sacred when our government runs out of money, and people need to wake up and realize the situation we are coming to very very soon.

[KirkW]

So If I understand you correctly you are saying that because the State has done such an excellent job of managing the funds that we the taxpayers have all ready given them that we should now dig just a little bit deeper and give them more of our hard earned cash so that they can continue to maintain some of these "improvements" they've been busy with the last few years?

 

I don't see what more money is going to do considering the way they acted when we gave them a healthy allowance. Selling off public lands to the highest bidder involves at least some token input from the public and we don't have to let those greedy bastards sell off the last of our resources. But we probably will.

[stevetimetravlr]

I'm just saying that change is coming down the turnpike. I didn't advocate one way or another how they should get funding.

[LostCamKenny]

Did you guys miss the headlines that say that the State of Washington may be closing some or all of its State Parks due to funding? This year the parks were on their own, they were supposed to be raising revenue from their parking passes and camping, etc. In fact they raised far less revenue then was predicted, probably due to the $10 one time parking fee being so expensive, and so closures are coming down the turnpike. Any expenditure I am sure the Head Ranger will have to answer for, so don't look for any improvements anytime soon. In fact, much is at stake and at jepodardy. Here is the Save the Parks facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=68557313304

 

huh...

 

so if a park closes does that then mean there will be no one there working?

[KirkW]

I'm just saying that change is coming down the turnpike. I didn't advocate one way or another how they should get funding.

 

You're correct. You didn't advocate one way or the other. I apologize for putting words into your mouth.

 

Changes are coming and I'd say it's about damn time. Both OR and WA have been frivolously throwing money at huge "improvement" projects for years and now they are reaping the consequences of those actions. Their answer to the empty purse they find themselves holding is to charge even higher fees that discourage use and privatization of management of public lands that they now find they no longer have the moolah to maintain because they blew it all on garbage cans, asphalt and shit holes.

 

It's not the states job to make the outdoors accessible to every single person that has the gumption to drive a 60 ft RV into the "wilderness" and I for one certainly don't want to pay anymore money so that the state can turn it into asphalt and locked priveys.

[dougd]

yawn

[KirkW]

yawn

 

Glad you liked my TR dougd. Thanks for articulating your well thought out opinion on the matter!

[dougd]

For the record, I enjoyed your Abraxis TR on the Oregon Cascade thread much more than this one. I find whining boring. Sue me

 

The Abraxis climb was really good stuff and that TR is a classic.

 

But that's off topic so...

 

d