freeclimb9 Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 I'm talking about in his pre-crucifixion shape. Quote
JoshK Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 He'd get scared off the toof. Moses would have to ropegun him up most everything. Quote
ChrisT Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 freeclimb still got a star. Those are collectible you know. Quote
666 Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 jesus is a total sport fag. He moondances all over the 5.14 crimpers and snakes right up the 5.12 slabs. You forget-the guy can walk on water in sandals-imagine what he does in gym slippers. Of course his so-called father gave him all these powers-he's never tried a day in his life. In fact the only reason he's not pushing 5.16 is that he feels bad for Sharma and isn't "about competitive climbing". "It's between myself and rock," he whines. He does a lot of Yoga too, but I think that's related to post-crucifixion recovery an shit. He couldn't stare down a fire breathing crack that lies open to the fiery depths of Hell like me though, he's a namby robe-wearin' holier than thou Smith type. Quote
catbirdseat Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 My guess is that he wouldn't climb at all. The concept of "leisure time" would not be invented for another 1,800 years. Even if it were, it wouldn't have been considered pleasureable. Climbing was somthing one did if a pack of wild dogs was chasing you. Credit the Brits, "mad dogs and Englishment in the noon day sun", sort of thing. Quote
freeclimb9 Posted January 24, 2003 Author Posted January 24, 2003 My guess is that he wouldn't climb at all. The concept of "leisure time" would not be invented for another 1,800 years. Even if it were, it wouldn't have been considered pleasureable. Climbing was somthing one did if a pack of wild dogs was chasing you. Credit the Brits, "mad dogs and Englishment in the noon day sun", sort of thing. No way, dood. Jesus was hip to what was happening. Worldwide. He even visited the Americas after he got resurrected, if Joseph Smith was right. And, since many New World cultures worshipped mountains and made early ascents, I'm thinking he'd be down with climbing. Brits decidedly did not invent climbing. And the Frogs were still fucking on the compost heap while priests led ascents in South America. Quote
JoshK Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 I still maintain moses would whoop on him...40 years in the desert? the man was hardcore...beckey style... Quote
freeclimb9 Posted January 24, 2003 Author Posted January 24, 2003 I still maintain moses would whoop on him...40 years in the desert? the man was hardcore...beckey style... Whatever. Your homeboy was lost for 40 years. He'd need a perpetual toprope to find his way. Couldn't climb out of a wet paper sack. Quote
ChrisT Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 This is *too* funny. As for myself, I think Jesus was much too laid back to be a hard core climber. He was a lover not a...a...how does that saying go again? Quote
freeclimb9 Posted January 24, 2003 Author Posted January 24, 2003 He was a lover not a...a...how does that saying go again? Are you saying, like, Jesus got his groove on? Whoa! I should have gone to Sunday school. Quote
ChrisT Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 (edited) Haven't you ever seen JC Superstar? Jesus does a little bouldering in that movie but Judas was the climber IMO...black too! Edited January 24, 2003 by ChrisT Quote
Greg_W Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 I still maintain moses would whoop on him...40 years in the desert? the man was hardcore...beckey style... Â Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness...probably bushwacking. Quote
freeclimb9 Posted January 24, 2003 Author Posted January 24, 2003 BTW, I couldn't say whether Hay-soos would drive an SUV, or not. But, knowing the dude's feelings about usury, he'd like the 0% financing available for the behemoth machines. Quote
rr666 Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 (edited) I think he might have an issue with those sandals of his. Â On the other hand, I know someone who can probably dry tool better than anyone: Edited January 24, 2003 by rr666 Quote
Mer Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 ...and upon this rock I will build My church" (Matthew 16:18) Â I just google searched "Jesus said rock" for a biblical quote to post on Spray. The lightning bolt has not hit me yet. Quote
texplorer Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 I wonder if he would climb blasphemy, heresy, or if he would "barbeque the pope" Quote
glen Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 So, you guys think there's good climbing in Hell? I mean, the ice climbing is obviously going to be out of form, and drippy at best (except for that frozen ring in the middle, if Dante's TR is right). But what about the other rings? Probably some good buildering at least. Quote
kellyclimbsnow Posted January 25, 2003 Posted January 25, 2003 the best place wuld have to be purgatory.... but thatz my humbel opinin. Quote
North_by_Northwest Posted January 25, 2003 Posted January 25, 2003 A somewhat higher level than Lost Vegas. Quote
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