Thinker Posted September 20, 2002 Share Posted September 20, 2002 A bum, who obviously has seen more than his share of hard times, approaches a well-dressed gentleman on the street. "Hey, Buddy, can you spare two dollars?" The well-dressed gentleman responds, "You are not going to spend it on liquor are you?" "No, sir, I don't drink," retorts the bum. "You are not going to throw it away in some fishing gear, are you?" asks the gentleman. "No way, I don't fish," answers the bum. "You wouldn't waste the money on climbing gear, would you?" asks the man. "Never," says the bum, "I don't climb." The man asks the bum if he would like to come home with him for a home cooked meal. The bum accepts eagerly. While they are heading for the man's house, the bum's curiosity gets the better of him. "Isn't your wife going to be angry when she sees a guy like me at your table?" "Probably," says the man, "but it will be worth it. I want her to see what happens to a guy who doesn't drink, fish or climb." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bronco Posted September 20, 2002 Share Posted September 20, 2002 must not be a real climber if he's a "well dressed gentleman", has a wife and an actual home. What a gaper! [ 09-20-2002, 10:49 AM: Message edited by: Bronco ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thinker Posted September 20, 2002 Author Share Posted September 20, 2002 guess you wouldn't get the free dinner, Bronco........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILuvAliens Posted September 21, 2002 Share Posted September 21, 2002 what's a gaper! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt.Caveman Posted September 21, 2002 Share Posted September 21, 2002 quote: Originally posted by ILuvAliens: what's a gaper! REI prices increase due to gapers. You know the ones wearing the spice girl shoes and shopping there for the Eddie Bauer Model climbing gear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizard_brain Posted September 21, 2002 Share Posted September 21, 2002 quote: REI prices increase due to gapers. You know the ones wearing the spice girl shoes and shopping there for the Eddie Bauer Model climbing gear REI sells climbing gear? [ 09-20-2002, 11:10 PM: Message edited by: lizard brain ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gapertimmy Posted September 21, 2002 Share Posted September 21, 2002 gaper... http://www.cascadeclimbers.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=002286 [ 09-21-2002, 09:10 AM: Message edited by: gapertimmy ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeclimb9 Posted September 21, 2002 Share Posted September 21, 2002 A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed to be a witness. Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband flipped on the lights, pulled the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man. The husband put his gun to the naked man's head. The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I said I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for our cabin at the lake. He paid for our country club membership and he even pays the monthly dues!" Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do in a case like this?" The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass up with that blanket before he catches a cold Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeclimb9 Posted September 21, 2002 Share Posted September 21, 2002 A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center. Man: "What are you doing here today?" Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it." Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25." The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the same line. Man: "Hi there! Here to donate blood again?" Woman: (nodding her head with mouth closed) "Unh unh." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chucK Posted September 22, 2002 Share Posted September 22, 2002 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeclimb9 Posted September 23, 2002 Share Posted September 23, 2002 A man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred. The doctor asked the man, "Do you smoke or drink?" "No," he replied. "I've never done either." "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or fool around with women?" inquired the doctor. "No, I've never done any of those things either." "Well, then," asked the doctor, "why in the hell would you want to live to be a hundred?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paco Posted September 23, 2002 Share Posted September 23, 2002 An old farmer was sitting on his stoop surrounded by his fields when a car pulls up. Out hops a strange man carrying two buckets. He comes up to the old farmer and says, "Say, I saw that you have a large field of buttercups over yonder and I would like to go out and fill my buckets up with butter if it's okay with you." The farmer looked at him oddly and said, "That's the craziest idea that I've heard yet, but go ahead and try if you want." So off went the strange man and sure enough a few hours later he returned with two buckets full of butter. The next day the old farmer was again sitting on his stoop when the strange man drove up. This time the strange man tells the farmer that he saw some fields of milkweed and wanted to fill up his buckets with milk. Again the old farmer thinks this is a crazy idea, but he lets the strange man go to it. A few hours later the strange man returns with his buckets filled with milk. The old farmer is baffled by this. A day later the old farmer is out on his stoop when the strange man returns for a third time. This time he tells the old farmer that he saw some pussywillow out in the fields. At this point the old farmer interrupts him and says, "Hold on, I'm coming with you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeclimb9 Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 http://www.npr.org/ramfiles/me/20020924.me.dolly3.ram Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fence_Sitter Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 that is the most offensie thing ihave ever heard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 Damn it fence sitter... you said it was offensive, not blasphamy MAKE IT STOP (sob) please!!!!! Oh GOD that was awful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 Lightweights! If you want real trauma, you need to hear William Shatner do Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. The horror, the horror Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 I'll pass, thanks any way OW I'll leave it to you to find the GOOD covers for us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fence_Sitter Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 sorry ma'am it was just so traumatic...i couln't get the words out...i was looking to something like horrific...or "holy fuck" but such was my shock that swearing was no longer part of my vocab! oh the horror! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt.Caveman Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 test new avatar image Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt.Caveman Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 ok test 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 it's okay kiddo.... try again cavey, still looks the same to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt.Caveman Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 shit better work now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 works... but what is it???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt.Caveman Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 It's yo daddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 ummmm well it could be, cause it looks like there is a semi in the pick but how would you get a pic of pop??? you my long lost brother or something???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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