You are how you piss.

[allthumbs]

MOUNTAIN CLIMBER: Pulls out wanker in blizzard, piss freezes to leg, weiner gets frostbitten, head has to be amputated but not until after drunken brawl in Banff and waiting 4 days for flight back to Seattle.

[rbw1966]

weiner?

[allthumbs]

SPORT CLIMBER: Chalks up, pulls cock out, backs away, puts cock away, rechalks, breathes deep, checks cock, rechalks, reapproaches, goes for it, pisses down leg, blames belayer and poor conditions.

[icegirl]

hah.

[allthumbs]

TRAD CLIMBER: Belches, farts, picks nose, pisses on floor, bitches about smelly urinal, stalks away.

[iain]

CC.COM CLIMBERS: Sit at computers even though they have to piss real bad, lose control, piss on power strip, die of electrocution.

[iain]

I'm on to your game trasky!

[allthumbs]

ICE CLIMBER: Knows it's too cold outside to piss, slams finger with ice hammer so he'll forget the pain in his bladder.

[iain]

GYM CLIMBER: Poses too long, pisses down pants, has daddy buy new lycra.

[allthumbs]

Iain - hahaha you bad

 

DRUNK BRITISH COLUMBIAN (Dru) CLIMBER: Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.

 

[ 09-17-2002, 11:18 AM: Message edited by: trask ]

[iain]

OR CLIMBER: Rants about how much harder it is to piss in Oregon than it is in Washington, pisses in shoe.

 

(whoops got that backwards)

 

[ 09-17-2002, 11:19 AM: Message edited by: iain ]

[sk]

ooops, excuse me

[allthumbs]

GEN X (Dr. Flash Amazing) CLIMBER: Refuses to piss as silent protest, blows bladder, dies.

[sk]

female climber due to inability to stay in her harness and pee at the same time learns to hold it for so long that she breaks world record and becomes rich and famous

[kashmir]

BIGWALL CLIMBER. pulls out wanker pisses on ropes, belayer, gear left in rock, pisses all over leg, rotten piss reaks for the next 5 days, partner cuts rope, dead climber reaks of piss is now a good source of sodium filled food for pikas in talus.

[iain]

well in kashmir

[kashmir]

"why climb? For the natural experience; for the danger that draws us ever on; for the feeling of total freedom; for the monstrous drop beneath you. IT IS LIKE A DRUG...."

 

Hermann Buhl

[Dru]

Theories abound about what killed off the dinosaurs, but one recent suggestion from an American archeologist has sent shockwaves through the academic world. The archeologist claims that dinosaurs became so gigantic as time progressed that they became too huge to procreate, according to Shukan Hoseki (11/4/99).

Most archeologists have been quick to refute the theory, saying that the accepted explanation that a meteor crashed into the Earth sending debris floating up in to the atmosphere and blocking the Sun's rays is correct.

 

"With dinosaurs basically cold-blooded creatures, they weren't able to control whether they were hot or cold. It's a unique theory that they died out because they weren't able to make love, but I think it's more natural to believe that they became extinct because they couldn't adapt to climactic changes," says Kunio Kojima, an Osaka University professor.

 

Others aren't quite so sure, according to Shukan Hoseki.

 

"If you look at Seismosaurus, they were 52 meters long and weighed 100 tons. Carbon checks on its fossils showed that it lived to be about 200. At that rate, it'd be more likely that age rather than size prevented it from mating," says Takakazu Kaneko, a science writer. "But creatures only produce enough seeds to evolve. It's quite possible that the dinosaurs could indeed have grown too big to mate."

 

Rikao Yanagida, head of a think tank, not only refuses to rule out the possibility that dinosaurs died out through lack of sex, he goes a step further, providing a theory based on the assumption that a Seismosaurus had a 2-meter- long, 30-centimeter-thick penis.

 

"If an 800-ton male thrust into a 100-ton female once every second, the impact would be the equivalent of 4,800 tons. That's like a 60-kilogram woman on a bed making love to a 480-kilogram man Ñ about the same as two (former sumo heavyweight) Konishikis!," Yanagida says.

 

Yanagida continues, speaking about dinosaur calorie consumption during sex: "There's a rule that during sex, an animal will consume the equivalent of 180 grams for every 688 kilograms of weight. A 100-ton dinosaur would end up losing 54 kilograms every time it had sex. When the mating season came around, male dinosaurs would get thinner and thinner by the day."

 

Yanagida adds, though, that there is a conclusive reason why there is credence to the sexless dinosaur extinction theory.

 

"Even if you calculated that dinosaurs only have the same impact when thrusting as humans, at 100 tons, thrusting every 6.7 seconds would create 2,200 kilowatts of energy. About 50 percent of that energy becomes noise. If dinosaurs were having sex, the noise would be tremendous. It'd kill any humans within a 130-meter radius. What's more, omnivorous dinosaurs traveled in groups, so when they had sex, the sounds that they emitted would have killed off all the small dinosaurs around them. That robbed the carnivorous dinosaurs of their food, making them extinct, too."

 

 

[ 09-17-2002, 11:33 AM: Message edited by: Dru ]

[allthumbs]

...and last but not least

 

REC.CLIMBERS: Sit at computers even though they have to piss real bad, lose control, piss on power strip, die of electrocution.

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

Crotchety Anachronisms (Trask): Forgetting as usual that he is not fact a goat (despite an unrequited attraction to said species), pisses in own face to savor the warm feeling, sighs contentedly and returns to internet search for goat farms.

[Greg_W]

What's with the Japanese and their obsession with big lizards?

[Dru]

What's more, omnivorous dinosaurs traveled in groups, so when they had sex, the sounds that they emitted would have killed off all the small dinosaurs around them. That robbed the carnivorous dinosaurs of their food, making them extinct, too

 

Sounds like Trask and his honey gruntin and moanin...

[allthumbs]

"bark like a dog, Fifi"

[Goat_Boy]

Have to admit Trask had me spitting up milk through my nose with these.

 

HIMALAYAN CLIMBER: Fumbling darkly through cluttered gear with numb fingers, mistakes the whiskey for the pee bottle. After 3 weeks in the same company, decides not to tell now despised teamates.

[Muir_on_Saturday]

HORSE: Pisses in field while cc.comers marvel at the size of his unit.