Wise-Ass Wisdom

[panther]

Are you sure that was Twight? I heard Duncan Ferguson say that a long time ago.

[EddieE]

"The mountains don't care..."

Told to me by my mentor to explain why you need to have your shite together before you head out.

Examples:

"The mountains don't care that you forgot your stove pump and now cannot melt water."

"T.M.D.C. that you ran out of daylight and can't find the descent."

"T.M.D.C. that you're a nice guy...it'll still throw rocks, ice and avalanches at you."

 

[wotan_of_ballard]

" Never let judgement sway desire" and

"A climbing party of one is the minimum" were part of the WAC (Wallingford Alpine Club) code.

[Jman]

I just was following PP's line of reasoning on the DDD thread and I actually understood it. Only noting it because I thought it was funny but it wasn't funny. I don't understand anything he says. No one here reasons on anything so I've stopped reading altogether.

[haireball]

that quote about judgment and experience is older than Twight is..., most likely older than Ferguson, too - it was already old when I first heard it some thirty-plus years ago...maybe Petzoldt or someone from that generation...

but, in the spirit of this thread:

"I thought YOU brought the (insert name of missing item)"

or:

"there are auld mountaineers, and bald mountaineers, but there are no auld bald mountaineers"

or,

"rope? we don' need no steenking rope!" (Paul Preuss)

or

"old climbers never die, they just smell that way"

or

"climbers make better lovers - they have titanium nuts"

or

"if you don't like the weather, wait ten minutes"

or

"death to the weak, senility to the timid!"

or my all time favorite - never ever tempt fate with this one : "could be worse..." (whenever this is said, things usually get that way fast!)

[This message has been edited by haireball (edited 07-31-2001).]

[Dwayner]

"Never climb higher than the summit."

"A marmot never soils it's nest", i.e., get your dang skull and crossbones water bottle and your zip-lock bags outta here and do your business outside!

[Wopper]

Don't cook bacon in the nude.

[pope]

Stefan,

I was his mentor. But the Professor did throw around this quotable: The mountains don't care.

[pope]

Bivouac: that's French for mistake. (Big Lou)

Lou requires an odd number of skis. (Dwayner)

No snowflake in an avalanche ever claims responsibility. (some drunk)

Carry bivouac equipment and you will bivouac. (Chouinard)

Even more he like the title of "leader", as if that make him leader. (Andrel Meyer)

There is probably less to discuss than we might think; there is certainly more to think about than we'll ever know. (pope)

[pope]

If you're going to crap in your tent, don't miss the crap bag. (Donna)

[Doug]

"Chickens Make Lousy Housepets"

"You can't save your ass and face at the same time"

And the last words of my friend Lloyd:

"OH SHIT! A FUCKING TRUCK!"

[tasmith513]

"Don't be a mountaineer, be a mountain, and shrug off a few with avalanches." Gary Syder

"Montani Semper Liberi" : Mountaineers will always be free. (Slogan on W. Virginia state seal)

[Retrosaurus]

When in doubt,

Run it out.

and

Q: Vie du klimerz klime?

A: Vecause de loff tu ear de vind vissel tru dare earz.

[Backcountry]

my alpine mentor SeanHalling...."oh just a little further, right up there, we'll bivi there...oh just a little further, right up there, we'll bivi there....oh just a little further, right up there, we'll bivi there..." 6 hours and 10 crosscountry miles later....oh just a little further, right up there, we'll bivi there

[Guest]

There is little point of setting out for a place that one is certain to reach.

Citus Altus Fortis (Fast High Strong)

Only dead fish swim with the current

How can it be an adventure if you already know the outcome?

[Wopper]

Never take a knife to a gun fight.

[Peter_Puget]

Like the title of the thread says: I was just being a Wise-ass!

[Yossarian]

I cannot express the impact these thoughts have had on my life. They have helped my redefine who I am and the nature of the world around me. Think about them:

"If the doornob flew away, how would it say goodbye?"

"Turtles are nature's suction cup"

 

 

[Matt]

Always forward, never straight. (the title of my unpublished book)

The hardest part's not the holding on, but the letting go.

Resist much, obey little. -- Whitman

[Jman]

Thanks for the clarification, Peter. Same here.

"Nerves of steel, brains of mush"

[Retrosaurus]

Put your brain in your pocket and go.

[Dru]

"There is no problem which cannot be solved by ignoring it."

"What part of 'Fuck off and die' don't you understand?"

Cracks shown as 'fist' on topos are usually offwidths, but fortunately sometime cracks shown as 'OW' on topos are just fist cracks.

If you take heavy raingear, it won't rain. If you don't take it, it will. Likewise in reverse with sunscreen. If you take both it will be misty and hazy.

"No one gets over their homophobia faster than two guys with only T-shirts and shorts at an unplanned alpine bivi."

"Don't ever go for a hike with your ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend unless you like to suffer."

and my all time favorite "When you are 80 and telling stories to your grandkids how impressed do you think they're gonna be by a story about how you stayed at work on some sunny Friday and got a start on next week's progress report?"

 

 

[pope]

Remember when climbing was dangerous, gas was cheap, and sex was dirty?

[willstrickland]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dru:

[b"Don't ever go for a hike with your ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend unless you like to suffer."

[/b]

---

Or maybe wanna make them suffer. I did this exact thing when I got back from hiking the Appalachian Trail. It was me, them, and a few other friends. Only thing was, it didn't make me suffer, I was in the lead and pounding out a pace that made new-loverboy-office punter-cigarette smoker look like a fucking gumby of the first degree. When they all pulled up for a rest break I just dropped the "ok, I'm going on ahead, I'll see you at camp". Busted ass and got to camp, pitched tent, gathered enough dead-n-down wood for the entire night's fire, hung a hammock, fetched 5 gallons of water, and had a pot of tea on the stove, the campfire ready to throw a match on, and a fat bowl at my lips laying in the hammock when the crew arrived. But, although I may have looked like a champ, it only registered with him, not her...but I was in my element and he was out of his. Carpe diem.

[Andrew_Grove]

"Retreat upwards" -- from my mentor, who took it from someone else.

"Put your feet where your hands are" -- from my mentor, original to him I think.

"It's your karma" -- from my mentor; he's got a well-developed climber's sense of humor.

"Don't get tunnel vision" -- overheard somewhere.

"Climb the route as you find it, not as you would like it." Said to self in desperate moments.

"Believe in yourself" Also said to self in desperate moments.