rob Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Recently I've gotten myself in a situation in which someone who was once close to me has done and continues to do so many hurtful things to me and my children that I find it hard not to hate them. I was raised thinking that hatred is bad (mmm kay?), so it's sort of a natural reaction for me to try not to. But it's hard, when these feelings feel so natural. I've never really felt like this before about someone, so it's kind of new to me. Couple of questions: What's so bad about hating someone, anyway? Why should I be trying so hard not to? Isn't it a natural emotion just like everything else? Is it even possible to not feel an emotion that you're feeling? It's all just chemicals, anyway. And, what in the world do you do to not hate someone? Trying to not hate someone is like trying to not love someone. Quote
olyclimber Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 until you get hair peace, you will not know peace Quote
rob Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 do I need bed peace before hair peace, or is it the other way around? Quote
ericb Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Recently I've gotten myself in a situation in which someone who was once close to me has done and continues to do so many hurtful things to me and my children that I find it hard not to hate them. I was raised thinking that hatred is bad (mmm kay?), so it's sort of a natural reaction for me to try not to. But it's hard, when these feelings feel so natural. I've never really felt like this before about someone, so it's kind of new to me. Couple of questions: What's so bad about hating someone, anyway? Why should I be trying so hard not to? Isn't it a natural emotion just like everything else? Is it even possible to not feel an emotion that you're feeling? It's all just chemicals, anyway. And, what in the world do you do to not hate someone? Trying to not hate someone is like trying to not love someone. Rob - I think you ultimately need to get yourself to a place where you realize that not hating this person is in YOUR (and your kids) best interest - your decision not to hate this person is not for this person's benefit. Odds are that your kids are already being hurt by this persons actions, and to the extent that a hateful mindset drives actions/attitudes of anger in your life, they are the recipients of more collateral damage. Also, I've found that for me, harboring resentment poisons my own quality of life in other spheres. Choosing not to hate is not about letting a person off the hook who deserves to be treated poorly based on their actions/attitudes. Rather, it's being mature enough to recognize that returning hate with hate does more damage to you and your kids than simply letting go. Quote
olyclimber Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 also learning to appreciate folly, both in your lives and in the lives of others. for instance, if someone is being a dick, say "i appreciate that you have to be a dick in order to feel good about yourself". this sounds like a pit of sorrow, but it actually is a liberating perspective. you have to realize that you can't solve all the worlds issues (but if you can, please start with mine first) Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Hating rots the soul. Then, when you go to uncage it, it really reeks. Quote
Winter Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 just register as a republican and let the hate flow my brother. the promise keepers will protect you and your children. Quote
rob Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 could I turn it into a lucrative talk radio career? Don't I have to stop having sex if I register as a republican? Quote
minx Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 yes, that's why they can reach the hate stage. maybe you need to be gettting laid even more often to solve this problem Quote
rob Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 I wonder if I could combine climbing and sex? Has anybody ever explored this? Someone should make a video. Quote
minx Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 yes i think the combo would help relieve the angst you're feeling. please submit a home video and TR Quote
KaskadskyjKozak Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 yes i think the combo would help relieve the angst you're feeling. please submit a home video and TR you want a video of rob and tvash bumpin' uglies? Quote
rob Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 yes i think the combo would help relieve the angst you're feeling. please submit a home video and TR you want a video of rob and tvash bumpin' uglies? whatever, my shit ain't ugly. I'm well trimmed. Quote
ericb Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Don't I have to stop having sex if I register as a republican? Only with women Quote
G-spotter Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I wonder if I could combine climbing and sex? Has anybody ever explored this? Someone should make a video. clucker Quote
KaskadskyjKozak Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I wonder if I could combine climbing and sex? Has anybody ever explored this? Someone should make a video. clucker wow, glad you cleared that up for us... nobody figured out that reference! Quote
minx Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Don't I have to stop having sex if I register as a republican? Only with women unless they're hookers Quote
bstach Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Instead of hate, you should pity this fellow...clearly he got messed up somewhere along the way. Quote
fenderfour Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Hating takes too much effort. If you really hate something/someone, you have to make it a point to do things to destroy that person/thing; mean, spiteful things like shitting in mailboxes and killing pets. I don't think you have it in you. You are probably having feelings of "strong dislike" and confusing them for hate. Quote
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