archenemy Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Yesterday morning I heard a metal clank outside my bedroom window (which was open). I get up and look out and what do I see? Nothing. So I go back to bed and doze off for about 10 min and I hear a louder clanking. I get back out of bed and look out the window a second time. And what do I see? A fucking bear. He had knocked over my BBQ and was prying the grill part off so he could have a taste of the tri tip I had the night before. Yummy. He got bored though and started walking around the house. I was sort of scampering around trying not to make noise and scare him. I lost sight of him at the back of the house where there are no windows. I go back into my bedroom and what do I see? The fucking bear! This time he is stepping up on my back porch and looking into a full-glass door to my bedroom. I decided that was getting too close for comfort and clapped then shook my hands. I could tell he couldn't see me (the glass is sorta mirrorish when looking from the outside). So I clapped, yelled and stepped forward and tapped at the glass right where his nose was. I looked right into his beady little eyes and could see the moment when he realized I was right there. He took off; but boy, what an experience!!! I just wish I had gotten a bear rug out of the deal. That way, I wouldn't have shit directly on my floor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Pictures? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 That's fun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 I had one charge me outside my house a couple years ago Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderfour Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 The glories of living in the country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lI1|1! Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 I go back into my bedroom and what do I see?The fucking bear! that bear wanted you honey. "somebody's been sleeping in my bed and..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Bears are cool. Bears in your house are not cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 porridge sex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
counterfeitfake Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 were you bare at the time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 ah...the country life WXBK7sTvsTI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 the bear had me bare - of my wits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
counterfeitfake Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Scary things get scarier when you're not wearing clothes. Spiders don't bug me unless I run into them in the shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 He was probably trying to ask you out on a date, and you fucking started flipping out on him. Women!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted June 7, 2007 Author Share Posted June 7, 2007 I had one charge me outside my house a couple years ago Now that is scary! Did you hear him chuffing and making his bear noises? That is so frightening it makes the hair on your nape stand up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RogerJ Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Note to self: The Bear costume gig for stalking is no longer viable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderfour Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Scary things get scarier when you're not wearing clothes. Naked aid climbing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_like_sun Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Archy, thats fucking rad! Where do you live that has bears? I'm guessing it was a black bear..... I had a neat bear experience a couple years ago. I was up in the Ruth Mountain area spending a few days climbing and lolligagging with my old man. One morning I woke up early and hiked up to the wilderness toilet to do my thing, and while I was sitting there I heard some rustling in the bushes directly in front of me. I finished, stood up and pulled up my trousers, then I saw what it was. A mother and two cubs, all three [standing up] looking at me. I almost fucking lost myself! Carefully and SLOWLY, I picked up my stuff and started to walk away. The three of them then took off into the brush. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
counterfeitfake Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Scary things get scarier when you're not wearing clothes. Naked aid climbing? Aid climbing is not scary, it's just annoying. It could be scary and annoying for me if you were naked though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motomagik Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 A big beautiful black bear crossed right in front of me while I was mt biking near Hood last weekend. It was so cool, I wish he/she had stayed so I could give him/her a big hug! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RogerJ Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Did it bear any resemblance to this fellow? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaskadskyjKozak Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Archy, thats fucking rad! Where do you live that has bears? I'm guessing it was a black bear..... I had a neat bear experience a couple years ago. I was up in the Ruth Mountain area spending a few days climbing and lolligagging with my old man. One morning I woke up early and hiked up to the wilderness toilet to do my thing, and while I was sitting there I heard some rustling in the bushes directly in front of me. I finished, stood up and pulled up my trousers, then I saw what it was. A mother and two cubs, all three [standing up] looking at me. I almost fucking lost myself! Carefully and SLOWLY, I picked up my stuff and started to walk away. The three of them then took off into the brush. Note to self: whistle loudly while using an open, backcountry shitter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 It was about 10:30 in the evening. I heard him out at the chicken house tearin' shit up, so, I walked about a third of the way to the coop with a flashlight and a .357. Making some noise and shining the flashlight in his direction, he looked my way so that I could see his eys shining back. The two bright coals, his eyes, were a good distance apart - a big fucker. I fired a shot just over his head. Then, silence. I thought, "oh, shit, maybe I hit him", which didn't make sense because I'm a fair shot, but, still, it was at night...and, I was aiming for just over his head. I took a step toward the coop. Almost before my foot hit the ground, he let out a roar that tensed me mightily immediately followed by the sounds of oak brush breaking as he rushed toward me in the dark. I turned and ran for the door. It was one of those times where you don't know if you're gonna get caught from behind when you must stop to open the door. As soon as I had the glass storm door closed behind me, I whirled with the gun, ready to fire. All I saw through the glass were the black silhouettes of Ponderosa pines swaying against the night sky. I promptly closed the 1 3/4 door. That bear didn't come back all summer, thankfully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lI1|1! Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 mary had a little bear she treated it so kind everywhere mary went you'd see her bare behind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 does she charge? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 B.E.A.R. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.