Jens Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Agrees to your route and style shows up on time shows up already have eaten and gotten coffee and brought some for you. Drives Shows up with a full tank of gas Shows up having taken a shower and brushed teeth has an up to date trail park pass Got more sleep than you Has a massive collection of CD's for the car Is a good listener Speeds at least 20mph over the speed limit all the way to the climbing area Doesn't need to make any stops after picking you up Made 2 photocopies of the topos and laminated them at Kinko's Agrees to use his or her rope (which is brand new) Agrees to your rack NEVER suggests carrying hexes or heavy biners Carries the rope Carries more weight then you goes first in the brush Brings a digital camera Agrees to your organization and size of rack Climbs alpine style Postholes most of the way for you Has a photographic memory and a great sense of direction Hands you a piece of chocolate or cheese at a belay brings a thermos of coffee on ice trips Doesn't disagree when you decide to pass all the other parties doesn't have flatulence Doesn't trundle anything on you Climbs fast Solos the easier terrain with a pack and boots on Never short ropes you on a clip gives you soft catches when you fall If it is a new rock route, does all the scrubbing, buys the hangers and lets you have the first redpoint attempt. Likes to sign summit regiters Agrees to downclimb as much as can be imagined Hikes out fast doesn't need to stop to treat the water before you drink it Mysteriously has an extra bar for you on the way out Agrees to a beer at the local bar afterwards and listens to your chestbeating Tells you a climbing story or some cascade folklore that makes you laugh your ass off! Picks up the beer tab Has a well stocked cooler in the car Lets you sleep all the way home as he or she drives Drives at least 20mph over the speed limit all the way home If it is a new line, does all the writing and documentation Agrees to your next adventure the next weekend and repeats all of the above and shows up with that polypro shirt that you left in his or her car. Hands it to you washed. ------------- I wish that I could aspire to do half of the above Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billcoe Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Great stuff Jens: ______________________________________________ I thought you were going to say: *Is female. *is 3 feet tall. *Has no teeth. *Has a flathead (for putting your beer down on top of). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Amen, Bill. I had a partner like that. I was nuts over her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindawg Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Agrees to your route and style shows up on time shows up already have eaten and gotten coffee and brought some for you Drives Shows up with a full tank of gas Shows up having taken a shower and brushed teeth has an up to date tail park pass Got more sleep than you Has a massive collection of CD's for the car Is a good listener Speeds at least 20mph over the speed limit all the way to the climbing area Doesn't need to make any stops after picking you up Made 2 photocopies of the topos and laminated them at Kinko's Our apologies...for the lamination injuries....really! Agrees to use his or her rope (which is brand new) Agrees to your rack NEVER suggests carrying hexes or heavy biners Carries the rope Carries more weight then you goes first in the brush Has a photographic memory and a great sense of direction Hands you a piece of chocolate or cheese at a belay Eeeeeeeeh! Alright....I'm tired of this. Too many items in the list. dude...you got a lot of criteria....you ain't never gonna be happy with an unrealistic list like that! Even solo climbing probably won't work for you cuz you'll inevitably pass gas and disappoint yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 (edited) Raindawg is going to have a fainting spell when he sees your post. edit: damn Raindawg you are fast on the draw. Awesome. Edited September 2, 2006 by catbirdseat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foraker Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Gee, Jens, you forgot "Buxom blonde nympho with a bad memory"..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 doesn't have flatulence Good luck on that one buddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Agrees to your route and style shows up on time shows up already have eaten and gotten coffee and brought some for you. Drives Shows up with a full tank of gas Shows up having taken a shower and brushed teeth has an up to date trail park pass Got more sleep than you Has a massive collection of CD's for the car Is a good listener Speeds at least 20mph over the speed limit all the way to the climbing area Doesn't need to make any stops after picking you up Made 2 photocopies of the topos and laminated them at Kinko's Agrees to use his or her rope (which is brand new) Agrees to your rack NEVER suggests carrying hexes or heavy biners Carries the rope Carries more weight then you goes first in the brush Brings a digital camera Agrees to your organization and size of rack Climbs alpine style Postholes most of the way for you Has a photographic memory and a great sense of direction Hands you a piece of chocolate or cheese at a belay brings a thermos of coffee on ice trips Doesn't disagree when you decide to pass all the other parties doesn't have flatulence Doesn't trundle anything on you Climbs fast Solos the easier terrain with a pack and boots on Never short ropes you on a clip gives you soft catches when you fall If it is a new rock route, does all the scrubbing, buys the hangers and lets you have the first redpoint attempt. Likes to sign summit regiters Agrees to downclimb as much as can be imagined Hikes out fast doesn't need to stop to treat the water before you drink it Mysteriously has an extra bar for you on the way out Agrees to a beer at the local bar afterwards and listens to your chestbeating Tells you a climbing story or some cascade folklore that makes you laugh your ass off! Picks up the beer tab Has a well stocked cooler in the car Lets you sleep all the way home as he or she drives Drives at least 20mph over the speed limit all the way home If it is a new line, does all the writing and documentation Agrees to your next adventure the next weekend and repeats all of the above and shows up with that polypro shirt that you left in his or her car. Hands it to you washed. ------------- I wish that I could aspire to do half of the above Helps build shelter on the Adams glacier in a thunder storm. And does not complain when you were the one insisting on climbimg in bad weather. Completes the climb after a miserable bivy. Drives most of the way home cause you forgot tooth picks to hold your eyelids open. Gets married to you and is a stronger climber than 90% of your macho male partners. Does not care if you go to the hills solo or with other climberes when she can not go. I am a lucky SOB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmace Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Jens sounds like a whiny chick..and Roy married a man you people are all sick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Jens sounds like a whiny chick..and Roy married a man you people are all sick You climb alone, or with greeks, I bet. Lonley sap I almost feel sorry for you {Not} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Jens sounds like a whiny chick..and Roy married a man you people are all sick People who know Jens are willing to forgive his whiny tendencies on the internet because he's a genuinely nice guy and he climbs like a son of a gun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric8 Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 those are all good Jens, but really you just need someone who is willing to lead there share of sporty pitches and doesn't hang to much when you lead one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 the perfect partner is the one who stfu & ctsm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 the perfect partner is the one who stfu & ctsm What, it's not the one having the most fun? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 that IS teh most fun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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