Ireneo_Funes Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Don't say anything bad about Chuck Norris if you're near a lake, river, pond or marsh; otherwise he will come up out of the water with his AK-47 already firing. ...from Urban Dictionary, which has many amusing entries...did you know you can use "Chuck Norris" as a verb or adjective? Examples below: Did you see the way Stewart Chuck Norrised that fucking guy's neck? That's awesome. Did you see the way Travis slapped that bitch? That's Chuck Norris. Quote
underworld Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Don't say anything bad about Chuck Norris if you're near a lake, river, pond or marsh; otherwise he will come up out of the water with his AK-47 already firing. isn't that Rambo? Quote
Ireneo_Funes Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Pretty much all hardass movie characters are based on Chuck Norris, I think. Quote
lI1|1! Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Pretty much all hardass movie characters are based on Chuck Norris, I think. actually chuck norris is in turn based on a character created by akira kurosawa: but then again there's no comparison with the original Quote
Dru Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Googlism for Chuck Norris: chuck norris is another one of those "110%" people chuck norris is one of hollywood's definite good guys chuck norris is not contactable through this website chuck norris is an american hero who actually practices what he preaches chuck norris is the titular character chuck norris is up against his deadliest and most inhuman foe ever in this chuck norris is without question one of the most popular action stars ever to fill the big screen chuck norris is a tough sheriff who faces a supernatural horror that is terrifying the town chuck norris is calling his hit series quits and embarking on chuck norris is doing diaper chuck norris is a pussy chuck norris is alert chuck norris is the best website for information on chuck norris that can be found on the computer or anywhere else chuck norris is one of the nicest people i've ever met chuck norris is an executive producer of walker chuck norris is on the chuck norris is loaded with talented fighters chuck norris is the only non korean in the history of the martial art of tae kwon do chuck norris is really a gentle chuck norris is the author of the secret power within chuck norris is in his element chuck norris is a current and valid participant in martial arts black belt registry since 11/26/2001 chuck norris is without question one of the most popular action stars ever to fill the big chuck norris is incapacitated and will slowly die chuck norris is looking to kick up some paydirt in the tv syndication business with a new series in the works at tribune entertainment for chuck norris is another one of those chuck norris is steven segal in grizzly adams chuck norris is so awesome chuck norris is a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in flying hurricane kicks of death chuck norris is not bad here and the psycho is well characterised by the actor chuck norris is the ultimate action hero whose mythic status was first attained as a result of the mid chuck norris is the one exercise machine that replaces an entire gym full of fitness equipment chuck norris is a zen trucker who must save his brother from a speed trap chuck norris is first founding member of worldblackbelt chuck norris is one of the most popular and successful actors in the world chuck norris is only good when bruce lee kicks the crap out of him chuck norris is probably best known to us today for his movies; but there is a lot more to him it turns out than chuck norris is there chuck norris is een van de meest populaire en succesvolle acteurs in de wereld chuck norris is back chuck norris is all about chuck norris is among the first winners of the community chuck norris is really one hell of a guy chuck norris is ranked 25 and has played for 4h10m in 14 days real name chuck norris is the most climactic scene chuck norris is licensed from top kick productions chuck norris is best known to television audiences today as the tough chuck norris is rightly legendary and certainly provides more than enough reason to see this film chuck norris is not the star of this vigilante actioner chuck norris is an adult chuck norris is duly credited with bringing tang soo do to the united states from korea chuck norris is a small town sheriff dan stevens chuck norris is a fine man chuck norris is an international action star best known for his roles in movies like ?delta force? and ?missing in action? and the ?walker chuck norris is dirty walker chuck norris is so cool chuck norris is not the best actor ever chuck norris is my best fighting actor chuck norris is one hairy dude chuck norris is in las vegas shooting a movie for cable network showtime chuck norris is roy empfield chuck norris is technically a midget chuck norris is nothing' and 'i don't need chuck norris chuck norris is a hero because of the positive image his characters portray chuck norris is as warm and genuine as twenty chuck norris is so amazingly flat you'd think he's roadkill chuck norris is chuck norris is at it again chuck norris is my hero chuck norris is the ninety chuck norris is his chuck norris is a cinematic god chuck norris is john t chuck norris is there to observe the meet and comes up with a brilliant idea Quote
JonNelson Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 These were sent to me by someone else. When Mallory and Irving approached the summit of Everest, they were astonished to see Chuck Norris already sitting on top. When they asked why he was there, he just said "'cause I am Chuck" and then gave them both a roundhouse kick. When the party of Ed 'Burt' Reynolds were descending after their victorious first ascent of the Matterhorn, they came across Chuck Norris, who, to their great bewilderment, gave himself a self-inflicted roundhouse kick. Most of the team was so surprized they jumped of the mountain. Ed, however, ran crying down the route. After that, they called him Edward Whymper. When Noah was filling his ark, he started to run out of room and asked god for guidance. So god sent Chuck Norris, who gave all the dinosaurs a roundhouse kick and then dropped kicked the remaining male animals through the goalposts. Then he impregnated all the remaining animals, including noah. Chuck Norris has no father. Whenever his mother met a potential suitor, Chuck gave him a roundhouse kick. Then he would impregnate both of them, just to make sure. Quote
jordop Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided. Quote
Chuck_Norris Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Check out my website at http://www.chucknorris.com/ and be sure to have your sound on. What my by "personally welcome you to my website" is to give you a round house kick to the head and impregnate you and your sister. Unfortunately I had to shutdown my chatroom for appearances only because it got bloody, but I make an appearance there soon. You might want to check out my code of ethics too: Study and learn these or I'll be paying you a visit, or rather my fist will be paying a visit to your jugular. Quote
TrogdortheBurninator Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 When they invent the e-Roundhouse, maybe the real Chuck will start spraying up CC.com Quote
knotzen Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 actually chuck norris is in turn based on a character created by akira kurosawa: "The Seven Samurai" Quote
Chuck_Norris Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 No shit! I've even been posting in this thread already, doofus! Another hidden treasure I've been waiting for your youngsters to pick up on is my movie "A Force of One". In this movie a team of undercover narcotics agents are conducting an investigation when things mysteriously begin to go haywire. One by one, the squad are eliminated by an assassin. To help discover the identity of the karate killer, the police enlist the aid of karate champion Matt Logan (me). Of course, this results in a lot of ass kicking by yours truly, including some of my hallmark roundhouse kicks. Its truly a delight to sit back on a Sunday afternoon with this film and a bowl of popcorn and enjoy one of the finer films known to mankind. Quote
selkirk Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 When Chuck Norris has a headache he roundhouse kicks the nearest person in the head so he's not the only one hurting. Quote
ZimZam Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 If Chuck is such a bad ass why isn't his ass in the sunni triangle roundhouse kickin' the insurgents. Oh he must have got a deferment. Quote
selkirk Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Chuck's roundhouse kicks cause sonic booms which tends to irritate the local camels, and he is an animila lover after all. Quote
ZimZam Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 and he is an animila lover after all. Baaaahhhhhtttttt I love you. Chuck last seen in Enumclaw! Quote
willstrickland Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Chuck Norris wears Old Spice. For the ladies. Quote
minx Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Fact: chuck norris sports a mullet Fact: chuck norris' hairline is receding Quote
jon Posted January 10, 2006 Author Posted January 10, 2006 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon. Anyone can piss on the bathroom floor, but Chuck Norris can shit on the ceiling. Quote
archenemy Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon. Anyone can piss on the bathroom floor, but Chuck Norris can shit on the ceiling. Quote
jordop Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot. One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter. Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a green number 4 from Uno, and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card. Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris. Quote
willstrickland Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Anyone can piss on the bathroom floor, but Chuck Norris can shit on the ceiling. Quote
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