Dru Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 My coworkers buy a box full of doughnuts and then expect me to eat 5 out of the 6 donuts in the box Quote
specialed Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 That's your reward for putting your clothes back on. Quote
Roger Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Don't get me started on 'smarmy' colleagues. oh, come on, please start. It couldn't be any worse than that dumbass who doesn't understand OOP. jesus. Quote
foraker Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 That's your reward for putting your clothes back on. But aren't people's expectations conditioned by your behavior? Quote
Dru Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 i must be still asleep cause you aren't making much sense - you're going to have to be more obvious with your insults this morning Quote
b-rock Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Fat man who is always eating - not so bad in and of itself. But the routine explosive shits that leave debris not just inside but outside the toilet - that is a problem. My resume is complete. Quote
KaskadskyjKozak Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 microwave popcorn smell is bad, but microwaved fish leftovers is much worse. Quote
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 microwave popcorn smell is bad, but microwaved fish leftovers is much worse. Oh, lordy, but that is the gnarly shit. Nothing like having the entire office smelling like Keiko's toothbrush because Joe Fishsticks couldn't finish his snapper at dinner last night. Fish microwavers get "I'm changing the olfactory character of the office! Ask me how!" stickers placed on their cubicles. Quote
Cobra_Commander Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Fat man who is always eating - not so bad in and of itself. But the routine explosive shits that leave debris not just inside but outside the toilet - that is a problem. My resume is complete. I have seen evidence of this before as well, yet the logistics still baffle the mind. Is the debris boomerang-shaped? Quote
knelson Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Fat man who is always eating - not so bad in and of itself. But the routine explosive shits that leave debris not just inside but outside the toilet - that is a problem. My resume is complete. I have seen evidence of this before as well, yet the logistics still baffle the mind. Is the debris boomerang-shaped? 1. Small-assed person who does not completely cover hole in toilet seat. 2. High pressure/low volume flow out of said small-assed person. 3. Low density flow material at appropriate angle to actually bounce off water in toilet and fly up and out of gap between seat and small-assed persons' person. This - I believe - can explain the things that I've seen that STILL cause me to wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. -kurt Quote
Cobra_Commander Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Solid conclusions. I can only pray there was no "Zapruder film" involved in the analysis. Quote
Ducknut Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 less than solid matter and explosive velocities, film at 11 pm............ Quote
Dru Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 person who is so fat they only approximately know location of anus, causing it to be located 50% over hole and 50% not over hole? Quote
Cobra_Commander Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 that would explain the anonymous coils left on the seat in some bathrooms, but still does not resolve the "jackson pollock" on the lid. Quote
archenemy Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 1. Small-assed person who does not completely cover hole in toilet seat. 2. High pressure/low volume flow out of said small-assed person. 3. Low density flow material at appropriate angle to actually bounce off water in toilet and fly up and out of gap between seat and small-assed persons' person. This - I believe - can explain the things that I've seen that STILL cause me to wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. -kurt I have never before been happy that I am not a small-assed person. My Monday is already shaping up. Quote
Cobra_Commander Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Nothing like a little feces ballistics to bring out the spray heavyweights. Quote
knelson Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Solid conclusions. I can only pray there was no "Zapruder film" involved in the analysis. No film... just many boring afternoons wondering, "How the hell does he DO that? Does he have the ability to rotate that thing like an F16 afterburner nozzle?" -kurt Quote
specialed Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Exactly what I like to think about on my time off. Quote
Dru Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 since primates mark their territory with feces, and humans are primates, it follows that an assmonkey is "behind" this subject Quote
Cobra_Commander Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 do they really? what a silly way of marking territory. "Ummm, you see all this area covered in shit? It's all mine so hands off." Quote
knelson Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Exactly what I like to think about on my time off. Let me rephrase... ...just many boring afternoons AT WORK wondering... -kurt And just to head off the obvious thread wander, NO, I am NOT employed by the US Government or any form of civil service. Quote
archenemy Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 do they really? what a silly way of marking territory. "Ummm, you see all this area covered in shit? It's all mine so hands off." Hence Jason Pollack's toilet. Quote
Camilo Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 I have never before been happy that I am not a small-assed person. My Monday is already shaping up. So you're happy that the explosions end up on your butt cheeks instead of the toilet seat? Quote
Cobra_Commander Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Jason Pollack's portfolio is nothing compared to the works of Peter Pikaso Quote
Dru Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Layton may yet have something to contribute to this thread. Quote
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