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Posted

Now you will receive us.

We do not ask for your poor or your hungry.

We do not want your tired and sick.

It is your corrupt we claim.

It is your evil that will be sought by us.

With every breath, we shall hunt them down.

Each day we will spill their blood till it rains down from the skies.

Do not kill, do not rape, and do not steal,

these are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.

These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior

and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.

There are varying degrees of evil, we urge you lesser forms of filth

not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain.

But if you do,

one day you will look behind you and you will see we three

and on that day you will reap it.

And we will send you to which ever god you wish

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Posted

Strange women rising from ponds brandishing swords is no reason for a system of government.

 

He said "watery tarts"

 

Actually, Brad, Dan is "technically" more correct at this particular point in the conversation between King Arthur and Dennis. The "watery tart" comment appears later in the exchange. See the excerpt below:

 

WOMAN:

Well, how did you become King, then?

ARTHUR:

The Lady of the Lake,...

[angels sing]

...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.

[singing stops]

That is why I am your king!

DENNIS:

Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

ARTHUR:

Be quiet!

DENNIS:

Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

ARTHUR:

Shut up!

DENNIS:

I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

ARTHUR:

Shut up, will you? Shut up!

 

I am SOOOOOO sorry I am such a geek about Monty Python. Geek_em8.gif

 

More scene selections and dialogue can be found here.

Posted

They're all animals anyway. All the animals come out at night: Whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal.

 

Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.

Posted

You know, you Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Kind of makes me feel like Riverdancing.

Posted

When you're a Jet,

You're a Jet all the way

From your first cigarette

To your last dyin' day.

When you're a Jet,

If the spit hits the fan,

You got brothers around,

You're a family man!

You're never alone,

You're never disconnected!

You're home with your own:

When company's expected,

You're well protected!

Then you are set

With a capital J,

Which you'll never forget

Till they cart you away.

When you're a Jet,

You stay

A Jet!

Posted

Maria!

I've just met a girl named Maria,

And suddenly that name

Will never be the same

To me.

 

Maria!

I've just kissed a girl named Maria,

And suddenly I've found

How wonderful a sound

Can be!

 

Maria!

Say it loud and there's music playing-

Say it soft and it's almost like praying-

Maria...

I'll never stop saying

Maria!

 

The most beautiful sound I ever heard.

Maria

Posted

"Mother? Not Mother?"

 

"I don't know if yer up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked."

 

"We must not have a mineshaft gap."

 

"Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system"

 

 

 

------------

 

BOBBY

I'll have an omelette, no potatoes.

Give me tomatoes instead, and wheat

toast instead of rolls.

 

 

WAITRESS

No substitutions.

 

BOBBY

What does that mean? You don't have

any tomatoes?

 

WAITRESS

No. We have tomatoes.

 

BOBBY

But I can't have any. Is that what

you mean?

 

WAITRESS

Only what's on the menu... A Number Two: Plain omelette. It comes with cottage fries and rolls.

 

BOBBY

I know what it comes with, but

that's not what I want.

 

WAITRESS

I'll come back when you've made up

your mind...

 

 

 

BOBBY

Wait, I've made up my mind. I want

a plain omelette, forget the

tomatoes, don't put potatoes on the

plate, and give me a side of wheat

toast and a cup of coffee.

 

WAITRESS

I'm sorry, we don't have side

orders of toast. I can give you an

English muffin or a coffee roll.

 

BOBBY

What do you mean, you don't have

side orders of toast? You make

sandwiches, don't you?

 

WAITRESS

Would you like to talk to the

manager?

 

 

BOBBY

You have bread, don't you, and a

toaster of some kind?

 

WAITRESS

I don't make the rules.

 

BOBBY

Okay, I'll make it as easy for you

as I can. Give me an omelette,

plain, and a chicken salad sandwich

on wheat toast -- no butter, no

mayonnaise, no lettuce -- and a cup

of coffee.

 

She begins writing down his order, repeating it

sarcastically:

 

WAITRESS

One Number Two, and a chicken sal

san -- hold the butter, the mayo,

the lettuce -- and a cup of

coffee... Anything else?

 

BOBBY

Now all you have to do is hold the

chicken, bring me the toast, charge

me for the sandwich, and you

haven't broken any rules.

 

WAITRESS

(challenging him)

You want me to hold the chicken.

 

BOBBY

Yeah. I want you to hold it between

your knees.

Posted

Radio: Ehw. What's that? I don't know dear. But it is alive. It seems friendly though. Aw look it's curled up. How cute oh no. Maybe we can take it home it doesn't seem to have any. Oh yes let's. But no! No matter how appealing do not let strange creature in you house. We all know strange creatures are on the increase. Many of them do seem furry and adorable, but beware we don't know from whence they came. Be safe. Be safe. Report strange incidences today.

 

snaf.gifshocked.gif

Posted

Otto: What's this? It looks like sausage.

 

Leila: It isn't sausage Otto. That's a picture of four dead aliens.

 

Otto: HAHAHAH

 

Leila: Laugh away fuckface that picture is going to be on the cover of ever major newspaper in two days time.

 

HCL.gifHCL.gifHCL.gifHCL.gif

Posted

Bud: Repo man don't go running to the man Marlene. A repo man goes at it alone.

 

Lite: Yes sirree bob.

 

Marlene: Just like John Wayne.

 

Oly: Damn right just like John Wayne what's wrong about that?

 

Plettschner: Greatest American that ever lived.

 

Miller: John Wayne was a fag.

 

Bud: What did you say man?

 

Plettschner: Whaa?

 

Oly: What?

 

Miller: John Wayne was a fag.

 

Everyone: The hell he was.

 

Miller: He was too you boys. I installed two way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood. And he'd come to the door in a dress.

 

Plettschner: Ah, you're fucking nuts.

 

Oly: That doesn't mean he was a homo, Miller. Lotta straight guys like to watch their buddies fuck. I know I do.

 

Bud: They do?

 

Plettschner: Yeah.

 

Oly: Don't you?

 

Plettschner: Damn straight I do.

Posted

Private Frost: What the hell are we supposed to use, man? Harsh language?

---

Private Hudson: Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

Private Vasquez: No, have you?

Posted

"Thank you. That was my first game of strip croquet."

 

"You're welcome. It's a lot more interesting than just flinging off your clothes and boning away on a neighbor's swing set."

 

---

 

"Do they even have Thanksgiving in Africa?"

 

"Oh sure, Pilgrims, Indians . . . tater-tots. It's a real party continent."

Posted

This is not a line but a prop in a movie. It was from the movie Switchback, the Caddie with the naked women plastered all over the inside. There were even pictures of women on the seatbelts. Talk about pimping your hoopty

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