cracked Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 Go build a bridge, Rudy. Â That dude's a retard. Apparently he like pulling his pant legs up half a foot until he has enough fabric bunched up in his crotch to accommodate his balls. Gussetted crotches work, I don't give a shit about how they look. What a sportposing wanker. Quote
ashw_justin Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 Clearly, considering one's inevitable proximity to an audience, this is an important issue. Quote
chirp Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 Now you may be an entirely liberated person. Very secure with your penis size, or how your ass looks when your pants are squeezed tight against it. But guess what? The people around you just don’t need to know! It’s a classic case of TMI (Too Much Information). I didn’t ask and I don’t want to know Quote
glacier Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 Rule #2?!?!?! The sacrilege! He's going to find a sack of burning polypro on his porch left by a bunch of pissed off mounties. Quote
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 (edited) There IS one problem there. T-shirts ALWAYS go over your long underwear top. ALWAYS. Â And, for the gym, your belay device is for BELAYING, not climbing with (unless your belayer will be seconding you up the red tape route?). If you need ballast, try the weight belt. Â Likewise, YOU DO NOT NEED A NUT TOOL IN THE GYM -- this is the stupidest fucking thing ever -- everyone already knows you're a climber, because you're at the rock gym, in your harness, and you're CLIMBING; if you really need to announce that you're a trad climber, talk loudly about it, but leave the nut tool, hand jammies (!), prussiks (), and two (!!!) belay devices on the ground, or in your pack at home. (There is a fellow who frequents the PRG these days who is guilty of all of the above. If you see him, give him one of those "dope slaps" they're always referring to on "Car Talk"). This is totally the same type of person who shows up at Smith with a half-empty pack but still clips their shoes/harness/belay device/chalk bag etc. to the outside of their pack for some half-assed reason, as a billboard to the world that, yes, they are a mountain climber. As if you'd be at the crag in climbing shorts, lugging a backpack around, for any other reason. As if anyone would care anyway. Â Oh, and Verve makes hot pants for chix, so an exception needs to be made there. Edited October 1, 2004 by Dr_Flash_Amazing Quote
slothrop Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 You all realize that this article is why Merv or dwayner or whoever posts all those clown pictures. Quote
Drederek Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 no...not really...what's your point? Sorry, I just took the little happy guy in the box at face value. Doh! Quote
b-rock Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 Likewise, YOU DO NOT NEED A NUT TOOL IN THE GYM -- this is the stupidest fucking thing ever -- everyone already knows you're a climber, because you're at the rock gym, in your harness, and you're CLIMBING; Â Â Ahhh, but I bet you wear your PRG belay card when you climb outside? Quote
Camilo Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 Â Likewise, YOU DO NOT NEED A NUT TOOL IN THE GYM -- this is the stupidest fucking thing ever -- everyone already knows you're a climber, because you're at the rock gym, in your harness, and you're CLIMBING; Â Â Ahhh, but I bet you wear your PRG belay card when you climb outside? Â I wear my belay card outside sometimes, and sometimes climb with my ATC clipped to my harness. I do these things because I'm goddamned LAZY. However DFA. . . are you one of those guys at the gym who, despite the nice comfortable climate control, removes your shirt as soon as you walk in the place? Quote
RuMR Posted October 4, 2004 Author Posted October 4, 2004 nah...he don't do that...he'll get his fat roll pinched in harness belt...needs to shirt to protect from chafin'!! Quote
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 nah...he don't do that...he'll get his fat roll pinched in harness belt...needs to shirt to protect from chafin'!! Â ... this from the only guy in the world with platform climbing shoes. Quote
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 Likewise, YOU DO NOT NEED A NUT TOOL IN THE GYM -- this is the stupidest fucking thing ever -- everyone already knows you're a climber, because you're at the rock gym, in your harness, and you're CLIMBING; Â Â Ahhh, but I bet you wear your PRG belay card when you climb outside? Â A definitive "NO," because that would be completely fucking stupid and unneccessary, not to mention a screaming fashion faux pas. Quote
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 However DFA. . . are you one of those guys at the gym who, despite the nice comfortable climate control, removes your shirt as soon as you walk in the place? Â Come on, now ... the shirt comes off only when there's babes or impressionable noobs watching. Comfort has nothing to do with it! Quote
RuMR Posted October 4, 2004 Author Posted October 4, 2004 you tryin' to impress 'em w/ your manboobs?? Quote
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 Please, please ... "cosmetically-enhanced pectorals." Quote
sobo Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 I'm guilty of #1 and #2, but I don't give a fuck. Â My feet sweat like a Hustler centerfold, which makes it so I can't get my shoes on or off unless I use a polypro liner sock. So there! Â As for shorts over polypro (SOPP), fuck y'all on that score as well. Wearing white capilene long johns on sunny glacier slogs with stiff winds and ground blizzards can't be beat. Not too hot in the sun, don't get chilled from the wind or ice shards blowing around. And it saves on sunscreen as well. But mind you, I only do SOPP on glacier slogs. Never at the crags. Â So go ahead, call me old skewl and call me a fashion loozer. Â Oh, and I quit wearing spandex when my ass got too big! Quote
Kevin_Matlock Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 WHEW... I'm new to the whole gym scene and I'll be a monkey fucking a football if I'm not guilty of the sock rule! I wasn't sure if that was PC but I saw at least 3 or 4 other complete morons wearing them so I figured...... Thanks sobo for standing up and saying something and making me feel slightly better. And yeah, you gotta wear shorts over polypro in the mountains. But if some bofuck wore them in a GYM... well, even this newb knows better. Â Oh, and even though it's not mentioned, I left my old 80's neon pink-green-orange chalk bag at home and went and bought a new, more socially acceptable model made in this century. Quote
Alpinfox Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Oh, and even though it's not mentioned, I left my old 80's neon pink-green-orange chalk bag at home and went and bought a new, more socially acceptable model made in this century. Â DUDE! The 80's are makin' a comeback! Â Â Better grab that old chalkbag. Quote
Kevin_Matlock Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Yep, that's me. I'm the gangly fucker on the right. You will notice that I've learned my lesson and have nixed the socks. BTW, my chalk bag is standing next to me (nice matching glasses!). Quote
EWolfe Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 nah...he don't do that...he'll get his fat roll pinched in harness belt...needs to shirt to protect from chafin'!! Â ... this from the only guy in the world with platform climbing shoes. Â Fuckin' hilarious, DFA! Quote
RuMR Posted October 6, 2004 Author Posted October 6, 2004 ahhh buzz off  he's just jealous...of what, i'm not sure yet!!! Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.