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Sausage Ranch 03/05....NOT!!!


Dwayner

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What if I told you that there were more celebrities in Tacoma last night than those attending the "Grammy's" or whatever a week ago? What if I told you that I didn't need a map to find this particular venue because the Glow of Alpine Excellence shown like a spot light from miles away? What if I told you that a representative from Encyclopedia Britannica was present to take a photograph of the assembled group to publish in their forthcoming new edition under the topic "Super Climbers of the New Millennium"? You'd probably think I was full of nonsense, wouldn't you?...I thought so. Sorry to inform you, my friends, BUT IT IS YOU THAT ARE WRONG! As evidence, I present the following short list of some of the stellar attendees at last nite's Club Pub at the "E-9":

MattP: fresh and feisty from Big 4 Mountain!

Mtnrgr: making the world safe for democracy!

Yungburra: from the land down under!

Mr. Hamacher: with a little bit of Gib Ledge in his recent past!

Alpine K: limo, body guards, clinging bimbos and all.

Andy Fitz: the Access Fund was well represented!

Eddie E: with a fresh phony internet name that I don't remember, "Fast Eddie" was as fast as ever!

Chris: one cool cat!

Matt: alpine-ready and mountain-charismatic!

Russ Chandler: of the famous Chandler climbing dynasty.

Plus a rare visit by the elusive "pope".

And saving the best for last, we were delighted and honored to have in our midst, two additional Club Pubbers:

"V" for Victoria and Anne, both of whom brought, charm, sophistication, beauty and a wealth of climbing wisdom to a group which might have otherwise resorted to lighting "blue flames" and chugging "beer bongs". Thanks for the civilizing influence, ladies.

And for those who weren't there...let's just say that you'll just have to wait a few weeks until Tacoma's turn comes up again, and maybe you, too, can experience the magic!

- Dwayner [big Drink][big Drink][big Drink]

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Dwyaner, thanks for the lovely compliments. I knew there was a reason other than beer that I was heading to Tacoma. I'd thank you for the beer that you promised to buy, but I do believe mountain ranger actually footed the bill for that one.

As for fast Eddie's new ID, I believe it's Figger Eight.

See you all next week on the East Side. Anyone placing bets on whether Cavey will show or not? smile.gif" border="0

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quote:

Originally posted by v:
Dwyaner, thanks for the lovely compliments. I knew there was a reason other than beer that I was heading to Tacoma. I'd thank you for the beer that you promised to buy, but I do believe mountain ranger actually footed the bill for that one.

As for fast Eddie's new ID, I believe it's Figger Eight.

See you all next week on the East Side. Anyone placing bets on whether Cavey will show or not?
smile.gif" border="0

Cpt. Caveman is no more. frown.gif" border="0 Ray Borbon still exists though!

rolleyes.gif" border="0

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Originally posted by Dwayner:Willy: I am not an ex-president, thank you very much and that's "slick" to you mister or miss or androgynoid as the case may be [laf]

And get your facts straight: a 3:1 is a tripod-fest, not 4:1.

You may have missed the gist, tri-pod being a psuedonymn for male, not intended to convey the number of males present, bad choice of words on my part

- Dwayner, a male, who has been seen at the Club Pubs many times, whereas Willy has not.

Au contraire mi amiga, while the ex-pres may not have attended, I have been in attendance at all Portland Pub events

Who should be doing the guessing

Well not me from now on, 'specially if there ain't no Mickeys in the bargain [big Drink]

Shalom ya'll smile.gif" border="0

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Originally posted by Dwayner:What if I told you that there were more celebrities in Tacoma last night than those attending the "Grammy's" or whatever a week ago?

I'd say you're full of shit. What if you reneged on a promised prize (a sixer of Mickeys I'd presume [big Drink] )when attempting to evoke guesses to your query via said prize? What if one man answered quickly, wielding a clear knowledge of the sorely missed Franky Z? What if you lamely attempted to chalk it up the offer as an attempt at spray? Hmmm...what if indeed wink.gif" border="0

Not a sausage fest ehh? Lets...consult the numbers:1.MattP 2.Mtnrgr 3.Yungburra4.Mr. Hamacher5.Alpine K6.Andy Fitz7.Eddie E8.Chris9.Matt10.Russ Chandler 11."pope" 1.Victoria 2.Anne

Uhh, that appears to be a Shlong:No-Schlong ratio of 5.5:1

Upon consulting the tables we find the following:

Male:Female ratio: 1:1 - Intimate Fest2:1 - Menage'-a-Fest(not my idea of a menage')3:1 - Gang bang-fest4:1 - Tripod-fest>5:1 - More sausage than a German Deli fest [laf]

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quote:

Originally posted by willstrickland:

You assume that "brother" Dwayner is male, how'd you get that confirmation? Nevermind, I don't wanna know
grin.gif" border="0

so if Dwayner was womanit would be somewhere in the gang-tripod-o-rama-fest zone.

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Willy: I detect some envy. And get your facts straight: a 3:1 is a tripod-fest, not 4:1.

- Dwayner, a male, who has been seen at the Club Pubs many times, whereas Willy has not. Who should be doing the guessing, amigo (or is it "amiga"?) rolleyes.gif" border="0[Moon][laf][big Drink]

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Yep, any way you slice it, it's a damn sausage fest. Hey, maybe that's okay. It is held on a Tuesday night for christ's sake. If y'all want to chase skirts, do it on a Friday or Saturday night. Nothing wrong with the "boys" getting together on a weeknight for some "Bullshit Artistry 101".

Trask has spoken.

P.S. I for one am very sorry to see Capt. Caveman go. He was a true spraymeister from the word go. The boards just haven't been the same, for me anyway. Here's [Moon] at you Cavey!

[big Drink]

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quote:

Originally posted by allison:
? If someone's lame, don't assume we'll let them into OUR club.

Well boys, here it is right in front of y'all. As Allison so shamelessly avows, the battle of the sexes is alive and well. It's all so boring. Games for the 20 somethin' crowd. My mail order deaf, dumb, and flatheaded housegirl is the way to go. iconsex-fellate.gif

[big Drink]

[ 03-07-2002: Message edited by: trask ]

[ 03-07-2002: Message edited by: trask ]

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