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moron

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About moron

  • Rank
    journeyman

Converted

  • Occupation
    No, I am still pre-occupied
  • Location
    Couch
  1. Let's Vote off the biggest Gaper

    Ahhhh, that's more like it.
  2. Let's Vote off the biggest Gaper

    I can't even get a second, what a loser.
  3. A joke, for the hell of it...

    Handy Dictionary to decipher Personals Ads WOMEN'S ADS 40-ish...................... 49 Adventurer.................. Slept with all your friends Athletic.................... No tits Average looking............. Has a face like a basset hound Beautiful................... Pathological liar Contagious Smile............ Does a lot of Ecstasy Educated.................... Banged her Political Science professor Emotionally Secure.......... Medicated Free spirit................. Junkie Friendship first............ Trying to live down reputation as a slut Fun......................... Annoying Gentle...................... Comatose Good Listener............... Borderline Autistic New-Age..................... All body hair, all the time Old-fashioned............Lights out,missionary position only, no BJs Open-minded................. Desperate Outgoing.................... Loud and Embarrassing Passionate.................. Sloppy drunk Poet........................ Depressive Schizophrenic Professional................ Certified Bitch Redhead..................... Bad dye-job Romantic.................... Looks better by candle light Social.......... Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres trayWants Soulmate.............. StalkerWidow....................... Drove first husband to shoot himselfYoung at heart.............. Old bat MEN'S ADS40-ish................ 52 and looking for 25-yr-oldAthletic.............. Watches a lot of NASCARAverage looking....... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & backEducated.............. Will patronize the shit out of youFree Spirit........... Banging your sisterFriendship first...... As long as friendship involves nookieFun................... Good with a remote and a six packGood looking.......... ArrogantVery good looking..... Dumb as a boardHonest................ Pathological LiarHuggable.............. Overweight, more body hair than a bearLikes to cuddle....... Insecure mama's boyMature................ Older than your fatherOpen-minded........... Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's notinterestedPhysically fit........ Does a lot of 12-ounce curlsPoet.................. Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stallSensitive............. Cries at chick flicksVery sensitive........ GaySpiritual............. Got laid in a cemetery onceStable................ Arrested for stalking, but not convictedThoughtful............ Says "Excuse me" when he farts
  4. Let's Vote off the biggest Gaper

    I would like to nominate myself.
  5. Upper level Managment Position available at CC.com

    Sounds like a good job for me.
  6. Muir on Friday

    What did I do?
  7. Joke

    Did you hear about the Irishman who walked out of the bar? It could happen.
  8. You call this jibberish SPRAY!

    Golf is better than climbing.
  9. A joke, for the hell of it...

    1. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ... I'd have had nothing to play with. 2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home."I went over. Nobody was home. 3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel 4. One day I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said "Because you came home early." 5. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning ... put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. 6. I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. 7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. 8. I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. 9. I'm so ugly...My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet. 10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through." 11. I'm so ugly...My mother had morning sickness...AFTER I was born. 12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. 13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said,"I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide." 14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. 15. I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. 16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?" He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect." 17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. 18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. 19.Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four times - three of those times I was reading it. 20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. 21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair.
  10. best of cc.com Muir on Saturday

    I was thinking all the revenue should be used to open up motorized access to all wilderness areas, but I like your idea of a moutaineer narc squad better (actually the moroneer squad is the best idea). We gotta chase off all those loser potheads that do nothing but take up space, smokeout moutain huts, pollute the countryside with ashes and roaches, etc. They're a genuine waste of oxygen if you ask me. Further, I want cell towers on every friggin Cascade Volcano, and a hotel/spa on top of every fumarole - these resources are being wasted for the sake of a bunch of potheads!
  11. best of cc.com Muir on Saturday

    MN, I can talk about nothing alot. Come to think of it, i can't remember the last time I talked about something, but enough about my adulthood....bronco wants a flame fest, so let me give it a try - I THINK THE FEE DEMO PROGRAM SHOULD BE MADE PERMANENT AND THE FEES INCREASED!
  12. best of cc.com Muir on Saturday

    Congratulations. Of course, the one everybody is really gonna want is the one that takes this thread to a third row.
  13. Armstrong strech jacket?

    Yes, good jacket, the stretch panels make it very comfortable, sleeves and such don't ride up/pull as much. I can't tell the difference in breathability from GTX. But, I pretty much leave it at home in favor of the lighter and more compressible Precip. I got the Stretch at REI for $160. Yellow and red is cool - I think I saw my hero Peter Whitaker wearing one. I got the blue because that's what they had. Don't listen to me, I'm a moron.
  14. best of cc.com Muir on Saturday

    missed it! arghh! This is stupid, but can you get stupider than a moron? [ 03-21-2002: Message edited by: moron ]
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