Formaldehead Posted October 3, 2003 Posted October 3, 2003 Find small consolation here. I got a kick out of the Key, especially the "Inspires Hatred" icon. Quote
Dru Posted October 3, 2003 Posted October 3, 2003 Livestock masturbator vs. fart sniffer.... which is worse? The mosquito researcher job is pretty tuff too. Some of those guys in Winnipeg get bit like 400x an hour while testing out inert control substances in repellant tests. Quote
Ursa_Eagle Posted October 3, 2003 Posted October 3, 2003 A day later, at the other end of the craft, commander Bob Overmeyer was accosted by a truant turd. Quote
Dru Posted October 3, 2003 Posted October 3, 2003 I wonder what the qualifications are to be flatulence odor tester? Do you need to be a pretty smart feller to... Quote
catbirdseat Posted October 3, 2003 Posted October 3, 2003 A friend of mine once worked for the company that first invented the contraceptive sponge. The company needed to know how much of the nonoxynol-9 (or whatever the active ingredient) was left in the sponge after it was used. His job was to extract and analyze used contraceptive sponges. Quote
Formaldehead Posted October 3, 2003 Author Posted October 3, 2003 Remember that the first fistula came about accidentally from a musket shot that left Sir. Alexis St. Martin with an opening in the stomach which never healed. Fistulas vary in size and location due to the purpose and shape of the patient (human or animal). For instance, a fistula can be used in colostomies in humans and also in the better understanding of digestion in ruminants. Similarly, when women and men get their ears pierced, the resulting hole in the ear can be called a fistula i'm learnding!! Quote
Formaldehead Posted October 3, 2003 Author Posted October 3, 2003 Due to political pressure, the fistulated cow will not be present at this year's picnic day. Supporter's hope that she will be back next year in order to educate the public and help bring ignorance to an end. We'll miss you, fistulated cow!! Quote
Formaldehead Posted October 3, 2003 Author Posted October 3, 2003 How do you feel about the statement, "The fistulated cow exhibit should be included in UC Davis's Picnic Day." Do you want to have the fistulated cow at your next picnic?YesNoA picnic just isn't the same without the fistulated cow!!Think of the kids!Does it feel hot on your arm?I am about to barf. Quote
dryad Posted October 3, 2003 Posted October 3, 2003 catbirdseat said: A friend of mine once worked for the company that first invented the contraceptive sponge. The company needed to know how much of the nonoxynol-9 (or whatever the active ingredient) was left in the sponge after it was used. His job was to extract and analyze used contraceptive sponges. He must have been pretty disappointed to not have been involved in the field testing. Quote
fern Posted October 4, 2003 Posted October 4, 2003 my mom was a grad student in agricultural science when I was little and I used to spend time with her in the research barns after daycare. I used to think EVERY cow had a fistula. ... she also gave me anatomy lessons on aborted sheep fetuses ... aah to be 4 years old again Quote
Dan_Harris Posted October 5, 2003 Posted October 5, 2003 How the hell do you guys find some of this stuff? I barely have time to read the stuff posted and post occasionally on a few sites, let alone surf the web looking up bizarre stuff about animal fart sniffers and baryard animal masturbators. Do you type animal flatulance in google or what? Quote
archenemy Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 Livestock masturbator vs. fart sniffer.... which is worse? I'm thinking that fart sniffer is worse. Quote
G-spotter Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 With a fistula in the right spot you could masturbate the livestock *from the inside* Quote
whirlwind Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 finding 2 working brain cells is pretty tough too. Quote
catbirdseat Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Try taking the survey and see what happens. It's a time warp! Quote
archenemy Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 With a fistula in the right spot you could masturbate the livestock *from the inside* It takes a special type of mind to come up with this one. Quote
i_like_sun Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Heres a damn shitty job: Crawl under a 120 year old house, and f*** around in a 16 inch crawl space and proceed to pull down 75 year old fiber glass insulation. While you do this, make sure to get plenty of fiberglass in your clothes (which makes you itch like hell) get impaled by old rusty nails and staples, and be sure to make a note of the rotting rat carcass that falls out of some rotten insulation and hits you on the back of the skull! After recovering from your session of vomiting and peeing yourself, pull the rusty staple out of your hand, wipe off the throw-up, and continue. When you come to the dead rotting raccoon, don't forget to think about the fact that there are millions of airborn spores and viruses just waiting to make their way into your future hospital bills. Oh, and make sure to put up the replacement fiberglass insulation upside-down. You know, just so you can do the whole thing over again! Quote
olyclimber Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 I think it was my dad or one of his friends that had a similiar experience....at terrible smell coming from under the house...crawling under in the crawl space...locating the odor and tearing into underneath of the house only to hit with the claw hammer a cat that had basically liquified, and having that drench your face, body, clothes. then the vomit. special moments. Quote
JayB Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Heres a damn shitty job: Crawl under a 120 year old house, and f*** around in a 16 inch crawl space and proceed to pull down 75 year old fiber glass insulation. While you do this, make sure to get plenty of fiberglass in your clothes (which makes you itch like hell) get impaled by old rusty nails and staples, and be sure to make a note of the rotting rat carcass that falls out of some rotten insulation and hits you on the back of the skull! After recovering from your session of vomiting and peeing yourself, pull the rusty staple out of your hand, wipe off the throw-up, and continue. When you come to the dead rotting raccoon, don't forget to think about the fact that there are millions of airborn spores and viruses just waiting to make their way into your future hospital bills. Oh, and make sure to put up the replacement fiberglass insulation upside-down. You know, just so you can do the whole thing over again! Helped my Dad do that job when I was about 12. Horrible job. If I had to do that again I'd have respirator instead of one of those paper masks, and use a 15' x 4' strip of old carpet to lay down on top of the dirt/glass/etc. Quote
i_like_sun Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Yes. A respirator is a must! Certain death without. Quote
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