allison Posted April 3, 2003 Posted April 3, 2003 Well, having said what I did last night, I must now admit to having cowritten a song in the 80s called "Drinking for Jesus," which was a big hit on the Belltwon circuit for a month or two. I wish I had a copy of the lyrics as I have forgotten most of it, but one of the lines is  "...hard to hold that shot glass/with a nail in your palm..."  Really I am just as guilty as the rest of you all! Quote
Sphinx Posted April 3, 2003 Posted April 3, 2003 And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross I'll tell them I found Jesus that should throw them off He goes by the name Jesus and steals hubcaps from cars Oh Jesus can I borrow your crowbar? To pry these God damn nails out they're beginning to hurt Crucified and all I got was this lousy tee shirt "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" I'll sing as I'm flogged Yeah that's what I would do if I were God So vote for me for Savior and you'll go to Heaven Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin Spacey in "Seven" With creepy threats of H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick You just can't teach an old God new tricks But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem? If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy? Just sport some crummy "holier than thou" facade Yeah that's what I would do if I were God  Bloodhound Gang, "hell yeah" Quote
johnny_destiny Posted April 3, 2003 Posted April 3, 2003 You can believe what you want but remember our Founding Fathers (even the dam' Demoncrats) all prayed daily. Its your choice whether to accept the word and love of Christ, or to live in sin, but remember when the Rapture comes, you sinners who are left behind are gonna have a heap of trouble. Some of you might smarten up then but most will probably go to hell. I will pray for all of you tonight. Quote
Sphinx Posted April 3, 2003 Posted April 3, 2003 I'll go to hell and meet you there. Go be a televangelist. Quote
specialed Posted April 3, 2003 Posted April 3, 2003 johnny_destiny said: You can believe what you want but remember our Founding Fathers (even the dam' Demoncrats) all prayed daily. Its your choice whether to accept the word and love of Christ, or to live in sin, but remember when the Rapture comes, you sinners who are left behind are gonna have a heap of trouble. Some of you might smarten up then but most will probably go to hell. I will pray for all of you tonight. Â Â Ha Ha, nice troll Quote
Alasdair Posted April 3, 2003 Posted April 3, 2003 I will take hell because I wont have to hang out with fuckwads like you. Quote
specialed Posted April 3, 2003 Posted April 3, 2003 johnny_destiny said: I will pray for all of you tonight. Â Fe! Don't waste your fucking breath. Quote
Attitude Posted April 3, 2003 Posted April 3, 2003 johnny_destiny said: Some of you might smarten up then but most will probably go to hell. Telling atheists that they will go to hell isn't much of a threat since they don't believe in heaven and hell. Quote
Necronomicon Posted April 3, 2003 Author Posted April 3, 2003 johnny_destiny said: You can believe what you want but remember our Founding Fathers (even the dam' Demoncrats) all prayed daily. Its your choice whether to accept the word and love of Christ, or to live in sin, but remember when the Rapture comes, you sinners who are left behind are gonna have a heap of trouble. Some of you might smarten up then but most will probably go to hell. I will pray for all of you tonight. Â Why do you fucks have the arrogance to think that you "praying" to your shitty God will have any effect on my life? "Prayer" is the most statistically useless way to get things done, anyways. Something is more likely to happen completely by accident than due to the effect of "prayer". Do everyone a favor, jump off a very tall building and "pray" you won't die. Â By the way, Jesus, if he ever existed, is dead. He can't hear a word you're saying. Quote
Necronomicon Posted April 3, 2003 Author Posted April 3, 2003 Agreed. All the cool people would be in Hell anyways. But, seeing as Hell is a figment of the collective imagination of a religious cult, I'm not concerned. Quote
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted April 3, 2003 Posted April 3, 2003 Necronomicon said: Why do you fucks have the arrogance to think that you "praying" to your shitty God will have any effect on my life? "Prayer" is the most statistically useless way to get things done, anyways. Something is more likely to happen completely by accident than due to the effect of "prayer". Do everyone a favor, jump off a very tall building and "pray" you won't die. Â By the way, Jesus, if he ever existed, is dead. He can't hear a word you're saying. Â Easy on the blasphemy and slander, there, hoss. Quote
allthumbs Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 As much as I loathe Necroshitstain, I agree with him on this one. Quote
johnny_destiny Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 Mister Necronomicon, I will say a special prayer for you tonight right after I pray for the continued success of our good Christian troops over there fighting the Mohammedist sinners in Iraq. I just want you to know that even though you are a sinner, Jesus loves you and wants you to change your ways. Embrace Him and let His love flood into your heart and wash out the badness. I'm drunker on Christ's love than I ever was on Colt 45. Â Now I know many of you want to go climbing on Sunday and not keep the Lord's day. Well, I found a preacher who's on the TV and he gives a service at midnight. I figure as long as I can make it back from a mountain for that, well, that's good enough for the Lord and so far he's been good to me. Â Now here is a parting thought: Â James 3:6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. Â That means that its your tongues that are getting you into trouble. Some of you hear are pretty smart but you've always got to show it by making a witty remark. But your remarks are hateful and petty, and that's sinning. So its your tongues that are leading you to hell. Quote
Attitude Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 johnny_destiny said: I pray for the continued success of our good Christian troops over there fighting the Mohammedist sinners in Iraq. Hmmm.... Killing4Christ? Quote
minx Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 Dr_Flash_Amazing said: i am tired of a) the overwhelming amount of public christianity to which i'm exposed b) the vanity of people who think i should accept it quietly c) the fact that people think that christ would care what hobbies they do for him. Â At the risk of opening up a whole new Pandora's can of fish, DFA has a few thoughts on the above. Â a) Imagine, then, how Christians must feel being exposed to the vast majority of un-Christian stuff out there? For all people's talk about respecting others' beliefs, people get pretty bent if those displaying that belief happen to do so with crosses. Hell, those "clever" little bumperstickers referencing paganism in some way (oooh, you're a Born Again Pagan - ha HAAAA!) have got to be on at least as many cars as the "clever" die-cut praying Calvin stickers. If Christians are supposed to shut up and accept that other people believe differently, why shouldn't everyone else do the same? Â b) D'you suppose there's a certain degree of vanity involved in any public display of one's beliefs? You don't have to accept it quietly, but if you're not going to accept PDC (that'd be Public Display of Christianity) quietly, why should any Christian accept a constant barrage of un-Christian input quietly? Â c) Christians probably tend to claim they're [fill in the blank]ing for Christ because Christians are, ideally, supposed to live that way. It's perhaps analagous to dedicating a book to someone, or making every day Earth Day (stinky hippies), or some such. So, from a Christian point of view, it's perfectly natural to assume that Jesus would give a flying know what people are doing "4" him. Â i've considered all this before. these are valid points but quite simply, i'm selfish and i don't care Quote
klenke Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 Looking through the USER LIST, I notice Jesus has signed up to this site but He aint posted anything yet. What's He waiting for? CC.com Armageddon? Then He'll step in and save people like me and...and...my friends and ignore people like....like...those losers I can't stand. Yes, He'll let you people I don't like yield under the falling, burning timbers of this once grandiose edifice. That might not occur for a 1,000 years, but that's not very long in "mountain" hours. Quote
glen Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 Anybody ever read Heinlen's "Job: a comedy of errors"? Not terribly deep, but a great read. Â Note: those praying founding fathers are the ones who wrote in separation fo church and state. Likely, this has something to do with the significant number of persons who ended up in the colonies to avoid religious persectuion that, rumor has it, may have had something to do with church and state being commingled. Â Freedom of Speech: Voltaire put it best (and I'll probably get the quote wrong), "I may disagree with what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it." Allowing people to voice their religious views is fine- even if it does make us uncomfortable at times. When it crosses the somewhat gray line into infringing on other's abilities to worship as they please, not worship as they please, or a particular religious group's moral views are imposed on society, THAT is a problem. "Born again Pagan" is just fine as is "Jesus loves you" as is any other religious slogan. Â Side note: Thinking that it is a war in Iraq for the 'sinners' there is something that I disagree with. Why? Ask our good Christian founding fathers who included separation of chuch and state. Â Meanwhile, willwork4beer. Quote
Skisports Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 Â Â Killing4Christ? Â I bet jeffery Dahmer would you use that Quote
specialed Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 Voltaire also said "If God didn't exist, man would have created one anyway." Â Â ...or maybe that was Doestoyevsky, or was it Tolstoy quoting Doestoyevsky, or Tolstoy quoting Voltaire... what the fuck ever one of those existentialists. Quote
minx Posted April 4, 2003 Posted April 4, 2003 specialed said: Voltaire also said "If God didn't exist, man would have created one anyway."   ...or maybe that was Doestoyevsky, or was it Tolstoy quoting Doestoyevsky, or Tolstoy quoting Voltaire... what the fuck ever one of those existentialists. as long as you're not quoting the bible to make a religious argument, i don't care who said it  Quote
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