Scott_J

For once, I agree 100% with Cattbird. Catbirdseat said, "Certainly, an endorsement of dubious value." Trask and Catbirdseat agree! WOW, funny thing I agree with this also. Maybe Catbirdseat is going over to the dark side.

WRONG DOOR..... An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake. ~~~~~~~~~~ I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!..... Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer." ~~~~~~~~~~ GETTING OLD..... A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup." ~~~~~~~~~~ SENIOR DRIVING..... As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful! "Hell," said Herman, it's not just one car. It's hundreds of them.

So true Trask. A buddy of mine is banned for life from Chilkoot Charlie's(http://www.koots.com/) in Anchorage. He was there with the USA Freestyle Team on their way back from Russia when one to the bouncers decided to give the entire team the heave oh. They were leaving trying not to cause a scene when one of the bouncers decided to see how tough a 145 pound Finn was. He woke up after the bouncers called the security people and the APD. The security people were told by my bud to stay out of it or there would be legal ramifications. They were smart and waited for APD and then APD told them to get lost because they were in the way.

Hell yes, there are certain fields of work that always need a "cleaner" .

You're a sick dude.

There are people out there that love to collect, admire and shoot military weapons. Why should they be deprived of the experience? And don’t give me the shit head argument that they could join the military…some just can’t. The fully automatic weapons owners pay dearly for the privilege to own those weapons. Not only the cost of the weapon but the cost of each permit and the restriction of where they can shoot the weapons.

I'll tell ya what you fucking dick head. If you had one gram the guts, determination, personal integrity and intelligence that the Cap. Caveman has you might be a measure of a man. But I can see that you are nothing but a whining looser that belongs in the swirling decomposing shit pile of society where you apparently crawled out of. Go back there and do everyone a favor…buy some donut holes and ...

i wanna open a restaurant that sells human meat. its only fair eh? I will only use free-range so it is more ethical. Hey Scotty old boy, its LONG PIG.

Deer, game birds, water fowl, salmon, trout, halibut, organic beef and poultry, mollusks, reptiles, etc.

That is why I am fed up and doing other things, Ray. Fuck 'em all I'll go out and hunt and fish and ski by myself no cock suckers to put up with and no shit heads to fucking knock down. Here is to you Ray...

Every time you have to hit the john, you find yourself asking a friend to come along. Warning label states: "Caution: May make ass look fat." After a few, you find yourself arguing that figure skating actually *is* a sport. Your belches come out potpourri-scented. You still cry into your eighth one, but now it's because the guy on the next stool is wearing the same outfit. The slogan: "Get that bloated feeling *any* day of the month!" The label boasts that it's this month's recommendation from Oprah's Beer Club.

thanks ducknut

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbecued 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?" The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder... those are friars!"

OK, everyone I'll be nice and call and not be an ass hole. Man I have to work on that. Ass hole is my middle name. I was a principal in a film clip a few weeks ago and I got to play the ass hole. It was so natural that I scared the female principal featured with me. hahaha The director liked it.

FUCK THE LIBERAL ASS KENNEDYS. THE SOONER THEY GET OUT OF AMERICAN POLITICS THE BETTER FOR THEM AND US. MAYBE THEY WOULDN'T HAVE SUCH BAD LUCK IF THEY GOT OUT. MY CUBAN FRIENDS DON'T LIKE THE KENNEDYS EITHER.

I don't trust anyone but myself and then I don't trust myself sometimes. HA

Whats's so weird about that? When I used to work construction , ALOT of the guys would have Budwiza' fer lunch I have a friend got a DWI fer walking his motorcycle down the road while being liquored up. Guess he dropped the damn thing into traffic or something. Jesus H. fucking Christ, nobody said it was weird. I just posted the god damn thing so all you Lower 48ers could have a good laugh at the expense of us Alaskans. FUCK!!!

According to a recent edition of the Peninsula Clarion newspaper in Kenai, a Sterling man, 42, refused to pay his taxi cab fare after reaching his destination. However, he offered to settle the bill by giving the driver some prescription Valium. He was arrested for reckless endangerment and lodged at Wildwood Pre-Trial Facility. Last month, Palmer police arrested a 43-year-old man for driving while under the influence of alcohol. Nothing out of the ordinary -- except that the man was driving a backhoe.

E-rock your solution sounds the best. I have some old school skis that I put the Ascension glue on after I removed the hardward that skins used to sue to keep them on. they work like a charm. The G3s suck. I'll package them up and send them into the company and ask for the replacement gray ones. thanks sisu I sent this company an email requesting help or authorization to send the skins to them. So far NO ANSWER!!!! Are they really a good company that cares about their customer??? Sisu

Very old joke but I posted it for all the youngsters on CC.com. It was a hot day in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (one of the two each year), Helga hung the wash out to dry, put a roast in the oven, then went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning. "Gootness, it's hot," she mused to herself as she walked down Main street. She passed by a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?" So she walked in and took a seat at the bar. The bartender came up and asked her what she would like to drink. "Ya know," Helga said, "it is so hot I tink I vill have myself a cold beer." The bartender asked, "Anheuser Busch?" Helga blushed and replied... "Vell fine, tanks, und how's yer pecker?"

This was send to me from a security specialist for a very big law firm in Southern Cal. Read it and see if he is trying to scam me or if he is telling me the truth. We try to trick one another at times and this time i am not sure. *********************************************************** Southern California law enforcement professionals assigned to detect new threats to personal security issues, recently discovered what type of information is embedded in the credit card type hotel room keys used throughout the industry. Although room keys differ from hotel to hotel, a key obtained from the "Double Tree" chain that was being used for a regional Identity Theft Presentation was found to contain the following the information: a. Customers (your) name b. Customers (your) partial home address c. Hotel room number d. Check in date and check out date e. Customers (your) credit card number and expiration date! When you turn them in to the front desk your personal information is there for any employee to access by simply scanning the card in the hotel scanner. An employee can take a hand full of cards home and using a scanning device, access the information onto a laptop computer and go shopping at your expense. Simply put, hotels do not erase these cards until an employee issues the card to the next hotel guest. It is usually kept in a drawer at the front desk with YOUR INFORMATION ON IT!!!! The bottom line is, keep the cards or destroy them! NEVER leave them behind and NEVER turn them in to the front desk when you check out of a room. They will not charge you for the card. (Information courtesy of: Sergeant K. Jorge, Detective Sergeant, Pasadena Police Department)

doctor exam After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?" "In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex with my wife, the first time I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually cold and chilly." After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?" The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?" "Oh that crazy old fart," she replied. "That's because the first time is usually around July and the second time is usually in December

Moses Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long hair, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff. President Bush went up to the man and said, "Aren't you Moses?" The man never answered but just kept staring ahead. Again the president said, "Moses!" in a loud voice. The man just kept staring ahead, never answering the president. Soon a secret service agent came along and President Bush grabbed him and said, "Doesn't this man look like Moses to you?" The secret service agent agreed with the president. "Well," said the president, "Every time I say his name, he just keeps staring ahead and refuses to speak. Watch" Again, the president yelled,"Moses!" and again the man stared ahead. The secret service man went up to the man in the white robe and whispered: "You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?" The man leaned over and whispered: "Yes, I am Moses. But the last time I talked to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the desert."

The difference between insane asylums and our schools is that in the insane asylum you have to show some improvement before you can get out. ~~~~~~ Amanpreet, Jr., asked his dead old dad, Lizard Pecker, "Pop, where did all of my intelligence come from?" Amanpreet pondered the child's question for a moment and said, "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother. 'Cuz I still have mine." ~~~~~~ On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

I cound not agree more