5.10 Commandments of Rock Climbing
1. You shall not have any false graven idolatrous bolts to set against my stone.
2. You shall never make the stone carved, chipped, hammered or glued into an idol image unto your ego to send.
3.You shall never curse, invoke evil, damn or profane the stone for it will punish you; even when you don't.
4. Keep holy the Sabbath and honor the stone with buckets of beer, crates of chips, buckets of salsa, and full on raging.
5. Honor the Stone with trad gear.
6. You shall only commit murder on partners that question your: gear placements, belays, judgement, taste in women and beer and animals, navigational skills, snoring, and forgetting the rope.
7.You shall not commit adultery on a partners girlfriend, wife, children, animals, gear or vacuum cleaner.
8.Thou shalt only steal time from your girlfriend/boyfriend to go climbing.
9.You shall give no false witness against gear manufactuers for your own dumb ass mistakes.
10. You shall not speak evil of other climbers; at least not until they have left the room for another beer.